Lux in Tenebris
by ClimbingUpTheWalls
Summary: "T-t-tributes!due to unforeseen- unforeseen. Unanticipated trials. All cameras are down. Until further notice all communication is down. The Dark Days have returned! Hunger Games on hiatus!" Multiple pairings.
1. Prologue

**Chapter 1: Prologue**

* * *

><p>"T-t-tributes!" The legendary voice of Claudius Templesmith gasps out. "due to unforeseen- unforeseen." There's a loud bang behind him. "Unanticipated trials." The microphone crackles before his voice returns, with more panic and fear than before. "All cameras are down. Until further notice all communication is down." He whimpers. "The Dark Days have returned! Hunger Games on hiatus!" He sobs, the bang behind him returns until there's crashing. A door, probably kicked in. He's begging for only a second when the unmistakable pop of a gun echoes in whichever room he was in. Then there is silence.<p>

It's only the third day that the announcement goes off. There had been a fire all afternoon, but suddenly the fireballs that had shot at tributes stopped. An hour or so after the fire burnt out did the announcement shake everybody up. They moved around warily, never linger became the rule. Move, avoid trouble.

Because until they find out what's going on it's best if they stay healthy.

* * *

><p>The Careers, consisting of Glimmer and Marvel of District One, Cato and Clove of District Two, Azora of District Four and Peeta of District Twelve, had no idea of what to make of the entire deal. So they continued to hunt. Cato pitched a spear through the boy from District Three. No cannon sounded.<p>

Marvel wasn't convinced, he beheaded the boy from Ten, the one with a bad limp. No cannon. No hovercraft to pick them up. The group collapsed at the Cornucopia, none willing to admit they were worried.

So Clove sharpened her knifes. Glimmer fussed over her hair. Marvel washed up. Cato polished his sword. Azora grabbed a snack from the lake. And Peeta watched the tree line, waiting for Katniss to make her appearance.

* * *

><p>Marrisa of District Five moved as quietly as she could through the forest that afternoon. She stumbled a lot, much more used to concrete floors and paved roads. A twig snaps, though this one isn't hers. She knows every sound she makes. Instantly she jumps behind a tree. It's too late. Thresh has found her.<p>

He left the wheat field, she has no idea why, except that she was as good as dead. There was no way she could fight him, minimal chance she could outrun him.

"Make it fast?" Her voice wavers.

He watches her a moment before he shakes his head. Her heart skips a beat. "I won't kill you right now. You know what's going on?"

"I don't."

He begins to stalk towards her. Her body stiffens, anticipating a deadly blow. None come.

He's five feet ahead of her when he gives a small nod with his head. She hesitates only a second before joining his side.

* * *

><p>"You know, they're not the only ones who can form alliances." Katniss had called out. And now her and Rue moved along the river bank in comfortable conversation. They spoke of music, of home, they theorized on the announcement. They formed a friendship rather than an alliance.<p>

Rue teaches her the four note whistle, they sing it on occasion, to reassure themselves.

Katniss is able to snare some game, all the while cursing not having a bow, much to Rue's amusement and dismay. "I sure wish you had that bow too Katniss." She'd say.

They eat a rabbit together before moving along in no specified direction. As night falls they bunker up in a cave miles away from the Cornucopia.

* * *

><p>The Careers don't hunt anymore. They lay around in the shade trying to stay preoccupied as they wait for Claudius to laugh and say just kidding. Peeta runs his hand over a tree, a small drilled hole where a camera sits. It doesn't go into focus, nor does it move. None of them do.<p>

Nobody sees the Careers and their 'glory'. It makes them think about their first few days in the arena.

Careers don't like to think.

They're men and women of action. Thinking gets them into trouble. Or so its drilled into their minds since the day they were born.

They finally arrived in their arena. Just as they've trained for their entire lives.

And now they're desperate to get out.

* * *

><p>They meet on the fourth day of the Hunger Games, a day after the announcement. Marrisa and Katniss are nervous, both ready to bolt at a hint of danger, Katniss prepared to drag Rue through the forest to whatever safety they can find.<p>

But Thresh and Rue smile at one another.

There is no killing, only more alliances to be made.

Maybe even friendships.

* * *

><p>Every person left in the arena comes together on the fifth day. Two days after the announcement.<p>

Two groups colliding. Team against team. It's the first time in Hunger Games history. The Capitol might have eaten it up. Career vs. non-career. But nobody has heard from the Capitol as of late. No anthem plays at night. Two bodies rotting in the sun.

Its scratchy at first. But eventually the two groups merge. There are distinct boundaries that may not be passed. But slowly they fuse. Very, very slowly.

* * *

><p><strong>First off, Azora is the District four career that died with Glimmer (who obviously isn't dead) she doesn't have a name in the book but in the movie it's either Azora or Zora and I like Azora more.<strong>

**Marrisa is Foxface. It's never confirmed or official but in early drafts of the movie script she was either Marrisa or Melanie so I just went with Marrisa, her real name is possibly Finch but she seems more Marrisa to me..**

**We'll get rolling on the Catoness Kato Catniss or whatever their couple name is soon. There will also be a lot more couples to come, check out the poll on my profile to vote for your favorite, the only one I'm guaranteeing is Cato and Katniss . Also this is in it's early stages so I can take any suggestions on where you want this story to go. In fact I'd really like some**


	2. Team Building

**Chapter 2: Team Building**

* * *

><p>"I did it all... you know, for our angle."<p>

"I know Peeta." I had a clue that he'd only joined the Careers for our angle, but the more sinister and paranoid part of me worried it had been all him out there.

"I'm sorry if I scared you." He looks so genuine that I have to smile. That's Peeta for you. He's the only boy I know who would apologize for trying to save my life.

"You didn't."

"Good."

We're sitting on the outskirts of our cornucopia camp, under the shade of a comfortable tent gazebo. This is most definitely not what I had in mind when I'd volunteered for the Hunger Games. Not that I'm complaining or anything. The Careers certainly do, I'm still a bit surprised they haven't tried to kill us yet. Instead they treat us like a plague, they don't speak to us and they rarely look in our direction. Thresh, Rue, Marrisa and I are overlooked to them. Peeta has become are go between, a job I think he's perfectly qualified for. Sweet People Person Peeta.

It's late evening, the sun finally setting and leaving my baked skin some relief in the cooling night.

"It's just all so crazy." I bite out.

Peeta nods, "Got any ideas on what could be going on out there?"

I shake my head, "None. But I'm fine with that. Right now ignorance is bliss." He nods to this. He's about to say something else but is cut off by the snarls of the two Career boys. Cato and Marvel are screaming in each other's faces, Glimmer Azora and Clove move in closer.

"Do you know what that's about?" I ask Peeta, he shakes his head no.

"Can't be good though. I'm gonna go check it out." Before I can protest he's already halfway there. Curious, I trail behind, stopping about halfway there to join Rue and the others. I cock an eyebrow but they shake their heads, not knowing what's going on either. We've been here two days now and this is the most action we've seen yet.

"Back off man!" The district one boy says.

District two laughs, "Fuck you." And instantly they're punching at one another.

I wince, involuntarily leaning to the forest. Though my time has been short in the arena, it's far too long on my psyche which has now become so untrusting that I bolt at the sound of leafs in the wind.

Thresh is the first to move towards the commotion, until eventually were all taking baby steps over.

They're yelling at each other still but I can hardly make the words out. When Cato lands a solid punch into Marvel's nose I know this fight is over. But apparently not to Cato as he moves in too hit again. Peeta jumps in to stop all of it and I want to tell him how stupid he is for getting in the middle of pure muscle and male pride. Luckily Thresh steps up and helps Peeta separate them. The Career girls actually look disappointed at the loss of their entertainment. Again my stomach does a somersault as I try and figure out what's wrong with these people.

They're yelling again and this time I can make it out better. "I know you touched my sword man, it's chipped you fucking-" Cato's cut off when Marvel manages to break from Peeta's grip and lands a punch against Cato's jaw. There's more struggling until Peeta's voice manages to surpass all the grunting and growling.

"Listen listen guys! Stop! Don't you see what's going on here?" Though it's only a bit, Cato and Marvel do pause for a moment, giving Peeta the floor.

"It's only been two days and already were snapping at each other!"

"What are you trying to say Loverboy?" Clove spits out from the sideline.

"What I'm saying is- is. .. I don't know what could be going on that's actually managed to put the Hunger Games on hold. But obviously it has to be big. Revolutionary big. And who knows, maybe we can all come out of it alive." At this most of the Careers scoff, but the Boy with the Bread continues anyway, "none of it will matter though if they finally remember we're here, come and check on us and find a pile of rotting corpses."

"So what are you saying?" Clove repeats.

"That were going to need each other." A pause. And then explosions of conversation. Yelling might be a better way to describe it actually.

Even I turn to Marrisa who, like my friend Madge Undersee, I get along with well without either one of us saying much.

"Is he serious?" She asks.

"I think he is." I nod.

She looks bewildered, her eyebrows knit the way they do when she thinks over something carefully. I swear I thought they would fall off when we moved to go to the cornucopia two days ago.

"He might be right you know." Before I can ask her what she means I get a new surprise, the one to reestablish order is the youngest amongst us, Rue.

"Stop it!" She yells. Surprised by her outburst we all turn to look at her. "Peeta's right." Marrisa nods her head so slightly that I only see it by standing next to her.

"Peeta's right." She repeats, "eventually all that food and supplies will run out. No matter how much you ration it. And eventually somebody's going to get hurt. Or we're just going to start killing each other again!" The unspoken words hang in the air, _or we're just going to start killing each other again_... not for the Capitol. We'll just be monsters that kill.

"We need each other." She huffs. It's so easy to forget she's still a child, but the huff and the way she stomps her feet on the ground are painful reminders.

"Why? Why would we need each other?" Cato asks as he shrugs out of Thresh's grasp. I'm surprised he's the one asking. Either way I refocus my attention to little Rue who apparently has a big voice.

"We all bring different skills to the table. And if we work together, survival will be simple."

Survival will be simple. It's a new concept to me. And one that sounds ideal, especially in the arena. I'm torn. While I'm half tempted to steal Glimmer's bow and head to the woods by myself (or with a few allies) Its equally tempting to stay here. Because Rue's right, survival may just be simple here with the assortment of people. That is, if we don't end up killing each other.

The atmosphere shifts considerably as people weigh their options. But Rue's must have been persuasive enough, because soon we begin to move a little closer. Peeta releases Marvel (whose nose appears to be broken) and we form a circle. Rue hops in-between Marrisa and I.

We all scrutinize each other, reluctant to admit what Rue said could be true. The silence is suffocating and I wonder if this will turn into another bloodbath. But district four puts a halt on this. "I can fish."

"Anyone can fish." Marvel coughs out, he's soaking his arm sleeve in his blood.

"Not like me." There's no debate there, District four is fishing.

"I can heal basic wounds. Like that nose." A light voice pops out. I'm surprised to see that it's Marrisa who says this. Everybody seems to accept it. Basic healing could mean the difference between life and death in a place where infection is as easy as a small cut.

Rue smiles, "Thresh and I can gather food... Except Thresh might have more talent than that." He only grunts in return but I can tell he has some tricks up his sleeves. Next up is me I guess, "I can hunt." Eyes shoot to me and I try to hide the blush that creeps up on me. I try to find the safe spot I had during the interviews, when thousands of eyes had scrutinized my every move. But Cinna isn't here, just the heavy eyes of what could either be my allies or enemies. But nobody says anything after this. And I realize it's because we've all turned to the Careers, minus Azora and Peeta. The bloody and violent Careers whose only real resource is what they get at the Cornucopia.

The scale just tipped considerably. We can survive on our own, they won't last a week after their food is gone. They'll need us, and now we have insurance on our lives.

* * *

><p>That night we all end up around a fire pit. Peeta's twisted version of 'team building.' We'd all hated the idea, it's a dangerous thing, getting to know the people you may have to kill when the Hunger Games start back up. For whatever their reasons are (and I'm still not sure of mine) we all gather around the fire. It's dinner and we all eat a small amount from the Career supply, much to their dismay.<p>

There is a distinct boundary, Marrisa, Thresh, Rue and I all stay to the side furthest from the cornucopia. The five Careers sit closest, and Peeta sits in the middle. When we had all stated are abilities it had gone unsaid that Peeta was persuasive. Now we all seemed to know.

The only sound is the crackle of the fire and the occasional animal call from the forest (Glimmer jumps every time).

I'm content to sit there in silence and chew on my packaged Capitol food. It's what I'm used to, in the Seam you take your food and eat it. No chit chat in between. Rue and Thresh seem to have the concept down as well. Peeta and the others are a different story. Some shift uncomfortably, others try to act indifferent. I don't really care, and I'm just about to dig into some dried apple strips when Peeta has to go and break the silence.

"Alright guys, lets tell each other something about ourselves."

"Like what?" Azora pipes up, obviously relieved by talk.

Peeta taps his chin with the end of his food packet. "Name... age... um..."

"Hobby?" Rue helps. Peeta nods, a full blown smile coming across his face. "I'll go first."

"Peeta Mellark, I'm sixteen and I like to paint."

Rue takes a break from her meal, licks her fingers, and goes next. "I'm Rue, twelve years old. I like to sing." I give a small smirk, remembering our short time in the forest together. She's got a soft, high voice that anybody would enjoy hearing.

Thresh is seated on the other side of Rue which means he's got to go now. Then I have to. I silently curse Peeta for this 'activity' I don't want these people to know a single thing about me.

Thresh stirs a little before giving up with a sigh. "You know my name. I'm eighteen and I don't have time for hobbies." From the little I know of district 11 I assume he means that he has to work far too much, what little downtime he has must be reserved for rest. I know the feeling.

All eyes slide in my direction, one long inhale, exhale through the nose. "Katniss Everdeen... I'm sixteen... and," I bite my lip in frustration. Do I really have a hobby? So I just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. "And I like to hunt." I do enjoy hunting, but more for the food and money, not so much the actual sport. Either way I'm done and can get back to my apple slices.

"My names Marrisa, fifteen now. But I'll- I might be sixteen in a few weeks. I like to dance."

Silence follows as are eyes trail to the Career side. Azora, who seems the most humane of the group goes first.

"You know me, Azora. Sixteen too. And I like to swim." It comes out a jumbled mess and it takes me a minute to comprehend it but by then Clove is going.

"Clove. Fourteen going on fifteen. And my hobbies are none of your business." I'm baffled by her age, I'd assumed she'd be older. Especially since she volunteered. She's the second youngest amongst us but also one of the strongest.

Next is her district partner, the monstrous boy- man, who had no problem with killing. Not that I should be surprised. "Names Cato. Just turned eighteen... I like..." He seems to be genuinely searching for an answer before shrugging it off. "I like too train."

Something tells me his answer was just like mine, a last ditch attempt.

Either way Glimmer is up- and eh yuck I hate her name.

"Well I'm Glimmer! I am seventeen, and I love fashion and design. It's going to be my official hobby when I win these games. If they would restart them already." She sighs. This girl was designed to be interviewed.

"And I'm Marvel. Seventeen as well. I enjoy... quite a bit of things." He says this while glaring at Glimmer who must have stolen his thunder or something.

It's not long after this that we decide to call it a night and head to bed. Rue and Marrisa are already settling into our shared tent and I'm just about to go through the flap when something tells me to turn. I do, it's hard to see in the dark with only a bit of light from the moon and the dying campfire. But it's unmistakable to see Cato staring at me from across the field.


	3. The Lake

**Chapter 3: The Lake**

* * *

><p>I'm not sure about what time I wake up at. The sun is burning strong though, and with a rough estimation I guess nine' o clock.<p>

Next to me two rolled up sleeping bags tell me my new roommates woke up before me. Reluctantly I also find myself untangling from the comfort of my bag. I must smell terrible though, I haven't showered since the launch room and have yet to change my clothes. Sighing, I roll my bag up as well, though not nearly as neat as the others. Then make my way out of the tent (It's orange and would be certain death if used in the actual games.)

Everybody's spread out, though there are a few missing faces, either way I descend upon the piled up supplies.

I go through a few crates, keeping my eyes peeled for clothes or even a bar of a soap. I know there must be some, the Careers alternate every other day.

"Watcha lookin for Fire Girl?" Glimmer asks nonchalantly as she bites into a pear in the pile.

"Clothes." I grunt after opening yet another crate, this one filled with rope. I really don't expect her to speak, and so I'm surprised when she taps on a forest green box. "I'm warning you I already got the good ones." She stalks off leaving me bewildered.

Pulling the box out I'm surprised to see that they are indeed clothes. I'm not too picky at this point so I grab a shirt and pants similar to the ones I'm wearing now, and then another pair of socks. I'm also relieved to see an array of undergarments, I grab the closest fit I can find.

I bundle everything together in the first bag I find and make my way to Thresh and Rue at the outlining forest. I smile as Rue throws down fresh apples and Thresh catches it in his hands, wipes it with a rag and then sets it in a bucket.

I figure I'll tell them where I'm going in case I run into some trouble.

"I'm going to go find some place to wash up."

"Marrisa left a half hour ago, might just run into her." Thresh says absentmindedly as Rue tosses him another apple.

"I'll keep that in mind." And with that I begin my lazy trek into the woods. I'm really in no hurry, but the knife weighing on my belt is reassuring. I just wish I had the bow damnit.

I walk for a while with no particular location in mind.

The familiar sound of forest has my mind rushing back to the forest outside District twelve, a pang of longing hits me, longing and wishing. I just wish they knew I was okay, that I wasn't in pain. I don't know what could be going on that would put the Hunger Games on hold, except that it would have to be big.

And whatever that big thing is, it isn't hurting the people I love.

I stop by midafternoon and a brief survey of the area tells me I'm alone. At least I hope I'm alone. I strip down and climb into the water, my knife always at arm lengths away. I through my head back and sink down, remembering the summers my father and I would spend at the lake where he taught me to swim. He said it might be a useful skill someday, did he think I might be reaped?

Probably. He always had a vague idea of what would happen in the future, called it intuition.

I let myself think of him only for a minute before returning to my wash. I grab my old clothes and give them the best wash I can before laying them out on a rock to dry.

I get as much dirt off as possible before climbing out. I pull on my new clothes, they fit pretty well, the shirts a little baggy but I suppose beggars can't be choosers.

My old clothes are still a bit damp so I kick back for a while. The spot I'm at now is actually pretty beautiful. Boulders surround the water, which I wouldn't describe as clear, but rather a healthy green. Trees surround the whole of the area, pine needles litter the ground. I think I could get used to a place like this.

The opposite side of the water is a taller cliff like structure. It might have been a waterfall at one time, but now it's completely dry.

I might admire it more but the snapping of twigs cuts through to me immediately. Technically I shouldn't be worried, I'm on a decent understanding with all humans in the arena right now. But it could easily be an animal, and usually this isn't something to worry about, but again I only have a knife. Not my ideal hunting weapon.

My mind flashes to Marrisa who is also out now. But something tells me she wouldn't come this far out. She's also much quitter.

My worries are cut short (as short as they can be here) when I see Cato lugging past the tree line. It's not complete relief though, he could kill me and skip back to camp and act surprised when I don't come back. I wouldn't put it pass him.

And then my thoughts take a sharp turn to last night, when I saw him watching me. I still have no idea what that was about and had hoped to forget about it.

Apparently that wasn't going to happen.

He seems as surprised to find as I am to see him out here, and slowly a smile spreads across his face. Yep. Dead.

My mind races to escape tactics, whether or not I can out run him, if fight comes to fight if I could scream loud enough for help. All of this is cut off at his voice and I'm listening so intently, because what he says could be the life and death of me.

"Funny finding you here Fire Girl." He smiles.

"I have a name you know." I snap. Mostly because I was expecting something a lot more violent than a greeting.

"Katniss was it?"

"Yes."

"Well Katniss what brought you so far out?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

He tips his head to the side, "You could."

I want to scream in frustration, Cato is dangerous of course, but I don't know if I'm in danger as of now.

Sighing I figure I might as well confess first. I begin to stuff my clothes back into the bag. "If you must know, I was washing up."

"Wish I turned back a few minutes earlier." I hear him mumble. I hope the inevitable blush stops at my ears. But I pretend I didn't hear and after my bag is on secure I stare back at him, raising an eyebrow.

He shrugs, "Scouting this place out. Has to end somewhere doesn't it?"

"Did you? Get to the end I mean."

He shakes his head. "It goes on and on."

Cato begins walking again and I find myself unsure of what to do next, he pauses, glances back at me, "Well aren't you coming?"

I want to make up an excuse but can't seem to find it, reluctantly I trudge forward to his side.

He's got a good half a foot on me, but years of navigating through woods gives me a decent advantage on trudging through the forest with him.

The silence is an uncomfortable one. Usually I could tolerate that, but not when I think my life is on the line.

"So what do you think of that announcement?" I ask, I hope I didn't sound to fumbled.

Shrug, "No idea."

I was hoping that once I said something the terrible silence would end, but it doesn't. it seems to drag on, louder and stronger.

We walk for at least a half hour without saying a word. It frustrates me to no end and at no time do I relax. I'm about to snap, talk. Talk about anything at this point. But it's him who breaks the silence.

"So how'd you get the eleven?"

I know immediately he's talking about my training score. It's tempting to tell him just to say something, but then he would know my strength: bows. If the Hunger Games started again it would be as simple as breaking my only chance at winning.

I figure I'll try to downplay the whole thing and hopefully change the topic. "Does it matter?"

"Of course it matters!" He growls, "what makes you so goddamned good that they give you an eleven? And why haven't you used it here?'

I hate what he's saying, he's knows I have my own tricks up my sleeve. So I decide to answer his question, though not directly. I pick my words as carefully as I can.

"District twelve always goes last... So they didn't pay much attention to me when I came in. I got their attention by going after them... Well their food anyway." I smirk, remembering the pig and the apple and that look of shock that spread onto their faces after I released my arrow. Cato stops walking and when I glance up at his face I can see his own surprise.

"You... Attacked the Gamemakers?"

"No." It almost sounds like I'm talking to a young child, "I attacked their food." I begin to walk again and seconds later I hear him jump to catch up to my side.

"And they didn't have you punished?"

"Honestly I thought they would, or give me a low score. I was just as surprised as everybody else when I got the eleven."

He grumbles something I can't quite make out and we begin to move out once more. He doesn't push for any more answers and I try and enjoy the silence.

* * *

><p>We get back to camp around four or five, having not said anything else after talk of training scores. I can see curious stares reach us as we both come from the forest together, but Cato immediately goes to his district partner and I go to find my own, having not seen Peeta all day.<p>

He's sitting with Thresh Rue and Marrisa who put a halt to their conversation when Cato and I had come back. I bite my tongue, not wanting to go into any detail. Thresh gives me a curious stare and Marrisa scrutinizes my face. Before anyone can ask any questions I flop down into an open chair, "So what's up guys?"

I realize it's probably not my best opening line but they all seem to shy away from asking. Instead Rue shoots me one of her smiles, "Just more talk on what could be going on."

Marrisa takes the lead from there, "Claudias said the Dark Days returned, remember?" When we all nod she goes on, "The Dark Days are why we have the Hunger Games, to punish the districts for _rebelling._"

"You think another rebellion started?" I ask, it's not to preposterous. And really it's the only thing big enough to halt the Games.

She nods, "I think so."

We all paw it over, mostly I think of Gale who always mentioned if there ever was a rebellion he would want a part in it. And I'm sure after I took Prim's place he wanted it all the more. I hope he's okay... wherever he's at.

I'm not sure where this conversation was going, but it's immediately broken by a scream. No, not a scream, a howl.

Everybody jumps to their feet, my eyes dart to the Careers and their campfire but they seem just as surprised to hear the howl as we are.

They come from the trees. I only count three but there could be more.

Mutations.


	4. The Plan

**Chapter 4: The Plan**

* * *

><p>At first I think they might just be wild dogs, maybe wolfs. But the closer I look the more it becomes apparent that this is not the case.<p>

Mutations happen every once in a while with the Hunger Games, which makes me wonder if the Games are back on, because really who sent them out? But this is no time to theorize, I grab Rue's hand and make a mad dash to the Cornucopia, it's really our only chance. I hear the others behind me and I know the mutts have begun to charge.

Glimmer is the last Career to get onto the Cornucopia, and I'm relieved that they stop and actually help us up. I pass Rue to Marvel who grabs her and throws her on top. Azora and Cato help me up and then Marrisa, Thresh and finally Peeta.

We all stand breathless, watching as more and more dogs come rushing over. It's certain death if you fall. The most you can hope for is a mercy kill. But with what? What weapons do we have? I have my knife, but that might just be useless from up here.

Rue collapses, wiping her brow with her sleeve as she shakes with sobs. I move cautiously over, not trusting myself so high up. I sit behind her and rock her back and forth like I might with Prim.

Rue has held up well through the Games, but she is still so young and this is probably all too much for her. It's definitely too much for me.

I'm wondering if we'll be stuck here forever, have to out starve the mutts. But there's a small reflection of light that hits my eyes as the sun slowly sinks behind the trees. We have maybe a half hour of light left before night.

But there's a reason Glimmer was last and I want to thank her a thousand times for grabbing it. Resting on her back is the bow and arrows. I stop rocking Rue and do my best to crawl forward, I'm nervous about standing up, but somehow the promise of killing the dogs is enough.

"Glimmer." I choke out, her wide dilated green eyes fire back to me. Uncertainly I grab the bow, so far Glimmer has been decent to me. I just hope she doesn't snap now. She opens her mouth to say something but one of the mutts comes dangerously close to getting to the top and she lets out a screech and falls back.

I take the opportunity and strip her of the bow and arrows.

I take a quick count and find twelve in the quiver. I move a bit closer to the edge, I know all eyes are on me and I try not to let it affect me. It doesn't compared to the mutts growls. I load the arrow up, take a deep breath and try to imagine lazy afternoons spent in the woods with Gale. Think wild dogs. Thing harmless creatures that you plan to eat.

I count the growling beast below. Eight in total. I can miss four times. I'm not going to miss.

I pull the string back, aim mostly for a face and a neck. Release.

The arrow seems to move in slow motion and for a minute I worry the dog will be too fast and get out of the way. I want to cry tears of joy when the arrow penetrates its skull. It goes down with a whine and I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. They aren't invisible.

I load up my next arrow, pull and release. Bulls-eye.

I do this over and over, my legs shake but luckily they seemed glued to the ground. Over and over until there are no more growls and only the sighs of relief from behind me. I didn't miss once and that alone makes me want to cheer.

But in reality all I want to do is go to bed, the sun is just setting but a wave of exhaustion hits me as soon as I lower the bow. Slowly I sink down to the smooth surface laying the bow gently to the side and take deep breaths. My eyes dart to the forest line but they seem clear.

"That's how you got the eleven?" It takes me a minute to realize the words are directed to me, and another minute to find it's Cato asking. I only give what I hope appears to be a nod. I have to snap out of this, quick too.

I don't trust myself to stand up but that's okay, a few others are sitting as well.

Finally there is a shaky chuckle from the back of the group, "Thank President Snow for Fire Girl, cause Glimmer can't shot for shit." Marvel laughs.

* * *

><p>Following the mutts attack we began are slow descent to the ground. I keep my back close to the Cornucopia and ready to jump back on should danger return, either way I move around and begin to collect the arrows. Any mutt that might still be alive I use my knife to slit it's throat. For the most part they're dead, the others join me and help dig out the arrows as they slowly hand them to me.<p>

Glimmer touches the bow resting on my back and lets out a small laugh, "Keep it."

I give her a small smile and a short nod.

If the Hunger Games start again... I don't want to kill her. I don't want to kill any of them actually.

Clove joins my side, kicking one of the mutts in the back. "Not bad." I guess that's her form of a compliment.

Cato, Marvel, Thresh, and Peeta drag the bodies away and must dump them into the forest somewhere.

Somebody gets a fire going by the Cornucopia and it goes without saying that we're all going to stick close to it tonight. The more brave among us venture out and collect our sleeping bags and soon I'm unrolling mine next to Rue and Peeta. I'm surprised however when Glimmer jumps next to us, "Marvel's being such a dick." She sighs.

Rue giggles, and I realize it's because of what Glimmer said. Maybe if this was Prim I would shoot Glimmer a glare. But Prim hasn't been in the Games and Prim hasn't seen people killed in cold blood so I let it go.

We all settle down, name the order of who will keep watch, and then somehow manage to get some sleep. It's hours later that Thresh gives me a gentle shake and I get up for my watch. It's when I'm sitting at the fire pit, my eyes going over each face that I know it will be impossible to kill them.

I know their name, age and hobby. I know they're not complete monsters, they would have killed me by now otherwise. While my original allies had been Rue, Peeta, Thresh and Marrisa, the Careers are also growing on me.

Glimmer, Cato, Clove, Azora and Marvel. I might be able to kill them. But I'd much rather not.

When or if the Hunger Games re-start... I think I might just be screwed.

* * *

><p>I add up the days in my head, three since the announcement, one with Rue, another with Thresh and Marrisa, and going on four here at the Cornucopia. Nine days I've been in the arena.<p>

We all have breakfast together the next morning. The mutt's really did unite everybody, maybe the others came to the same conclusions I did the night before, I'm not sure. But the inevitable talk comes that morning.

"We should try and get out of here." Peeta says after everybody finished their meal. There are a couple nods and some who say yes. I'm just happy nobody says no.

"Do you have any ideas?" Azora asks.

"None." Peeta sighs.

I rack my brain, but then I remember after washing up and running into Cato who had been exploring. My eyes fly to him but he's already speaking.

"We need to destroy the force field."

A collective mummer of agreement echoes around.

Maybe I'm really not the only one who doesn't want to kill, I really do hope this is the case. Clove suddenly jumps up and makes her way to the piled up supplies. We all watch her curiously as she dives in and begins to rummage through the boxes. She comes back with a pleased look about her a few minute later, a metal suitcase in her hands.

She lets us surround her before opening the case slowly. Inside it there appears to be four guns. I've never seen a gun in the Hunger Games before and I'm baffled by the sight.

"Flare guns?" Cato asks her. She nods.

"What's a flare gun?" Rue asks. I also look to Cato for an answer, most of us do actually.

He picks up one of the guns and examines it, he plays around with it until one of the sides opens and what must be the flares fall into his hand, while examining them he finally answers. "You shoot them in the air, they give off a light that can be seen for miles."

Clove shrugs, "sometimes quarry workers go too far out at night and use them."

I'm curious to see the effect they're talking about, and happy when Cato re-loads the gun and points it to the sky, "There easier to see at night... but you can see them alright in the day."

He fires, for a minute I only see smoke going up and up until an orange light shows up in the sky. It's so bright I have to look away.

"I have no idea why the Gamemakers would put these in, they're not meant to be used as weapons." Clove sighs, seeming genuinely annoyed.

"It works for us though." Marrisa says to nobody in particular, her eyebrows stuck together once more. I know she's planning on how to destroy the arena. She's gained the reputation as the smart one, clearly because everybody keeps down and waits for her to say something.

"How many bullets?"

"Four in the others, three in Cato's." Clove answers.

The redheaded girl continues to think before asking more questions, like how long does the light last and the power behind the charge. I have no idea what she's getting at but Cato and Clove answer as much as possible, though a few of them they're not sure of.

She begins to slowly turn in a circle, examining the arena. She starts to ask the Careers questions about former arenas. The Careers know quite a bit, as a part of their training they've probably seen just about every Hunger Game to date. She moves into questions about force fields when Cato surprises both Peeta and I by telling her we should know. I have no idea what he's talking about and apparently neither does Peeta.

"You seriously didn't watch your own mentor's Games?" Clove asks, glancing between us.

"Haymitch?" Peeta and I say at the same time.

"He's your only living victor isn't he? Anyway he won his games by manipulating the force field." Cato tells us.

I'm frankly surprised by this. Before I was reaped Haymitch was the drunk that everybody ignored. I guess after I met him I was so focused on the Games that I never stopped to think about how he won his.

Either way Cato gives everybody a brief explanation. Marrisa thinks this over before she finally sighs. "It's a long shot but I guess it's better than nothing."

She kicks dirt until it loosens before grabbing a nearby stick and begins drawing a light figure in the dirt. "From what you're saying the Cornucopia is usually around the center of the arena." She draws a small circle in what I now guess is a map of the arena. "I don't know a lot about the technology behind force fields, but I do know about power," it takes me a minute to remember she's from District 5, "And there's no way this is a perfectly tight nit shield. There has to be chinks in it everywhere."

She draws more detail in, then continues with her plan. "When the Games were going on I noticed it was in the shape of a dome, it has to touch the ground somewhere. I'm not sure where it's power supply is, or if its running off a generator, but I think maybe we can overload it if we attack different points at one time."

She than draws four circles around the border of her arena map.

"Attack it with what though?" Clove asks. "This?" She waves the flare gun around.

"We'll use those to signal when we reach the border, when all four have been shot off we'll know it's time to attack," She considers it a moment before sighing, "I'm just not sure if it'll be strong enough."

"It's the best bet we have though." Peeta throws in.

Azora looks at the guns and then around, "Four guns, ten of us."

Marrisa must have already planned that as well though, I swear this girl would beat any of us in a battle of wits.

"Thresh and I will head south through the wheat fields, we can get food there. It also has a lot of hills so I'm betting it will take us a while to reach the end. Maybe until then I can think of a way to put more pressure on the force field. That's also why we'll take the flare gun with three bullets."

Cato hands the gun to her, she examines it briefly and he explains the basics on shooting it.

Next she points to Clove and Peeta and I gulp, realizing my district partner will be paired with a sociopath. "Clove and Peeta will head west, the forest thins out after a couple miles so Clove will be able to use her knives if you're attacked. You'll both need a food source, Peeta you can carry a lot of weight, I saw that in the training center, take as much as you can carry."

He nods but I can tell he's nervous.

Next she points to Azora and Marvel. "Go east, there's more lakes and rivers there... I hope you like fish Marvel," He grumbles but Marrisa continues, "You both fight long distance as far as I know... There will be less trees and you'll be able to travel fairly fast."

I begin to get nervous about who I'm going with, and rightly so. Because next thing I know Marrisa is nodding to Cato and I.

I don't dare look him in the eyes, instead keep my eyes focused on the map as Marrisa explains. "Katniss and Cato will go North. The forest is thickest here so Katniss can hunt. Cato will also be able to maneuver around and use his sword. Move quickly though, this is probably were most the danger is."

I feel lightheaded, most the danger huh? Cato will be the worst of it all.

Marrisa then explains that Rue and Glimmer will stay behind and make sure nothing gets the supplies and that they should probably sleep on the Cornucopia.

I don't hear much of that conversation though, all I can think about is the murderer I will soon travel with.


	5. Bond

**Chapter 5: Bond**

* * *

><p>We're all scheduled to leave in a half hour so until than I help Peeta pick the right foods to take, the ones that will last the longest in a poorly isolated bag. Clove watches us a minute before stocking off to do whatever Clove does.<p>

"What do we do if the Games start while we're trying this?" He asks. I've thought about that myself. I stand a chance against Cato now that I have my bow, but Peeta is as good as dead, maybe even on the hiatus.

"Run like hell." I shrug, putting some dried meat into the bag. I keep my own bag as light as possible, my sleeping bag, water bottle, iodine, some dried jerky, rope, and my old clothes. Of course my knife and bow but that goes without saying. Marrisa shoots us a smile as she too begins to dig through the piles, trying to find anything useful. A few times I hear her give an 'Oh' or 'this could work' and I hope that means she found the key to getting out.

"If- if something happens meet me in the wheat field." He sighs, glancing to the place Thresh resided for the first part of the Games.

I pause and spare him a look. "Alright."

He gives me a small smile before putting a roll of bandage in his bag. Rue shows up eventually and sits in between us, she's so small that she is able to reach the things in the middle and hands Peeta a portable pot which he accepts gratefully. She grabs another one for me, I'm not much of a cook but accept it as well.

Time slowly ticks away, I glance around and it seems to be just the three of us right now. "Listen Rue you should be fine with Glimmer, but keep your eyes peeled. Listen to Marrisa and sleep on the Cornucopia, always have a stash of food up there along with a weapon, long range if you can." She nods, watching me with an expression I can't place.

"And Peeta... Look out always. Try to stay on her good side and if it seems dangerous..."

"It's okay Katniss, I can handle myself."

I purse my lips and hope that's true.

"Alright guys time to get going!" Marvel yells. I pull Rue and Peeta in for a quick hug as we wish each other luck, I shoulder my backpack and head to the north where Cato is already waiting. I see the others moving off in their various directions and I have an uncomfortable memory of our first bloodbath.

Finally I glance at my new travel buddy. His sword is strapped so all he has to do is reach behind his shoulders and give a little tug. He also has a backpack but I don't have a clue what could be in it. I hope he packed sensibly and I curse myself for not checking while I helped Peeta.

"Well, shall we Twelve?"

"You have the flare gun, right?"

He pats his coat pocket and we begin to go. Once we get through the thickest of it and come out into the woods he begins a light jog. I guess I can't argue or I'll fall behind so I catch up to him as we move forward. The morning is uneventful, us just running and me checking the moss on trees to make sure were still heading north.

We stop at noon at the river and fill are water bottles to the brim, put some iodine drops in, and kick back. I sit under a tree with me legs stretched out as I recover from the near constant jog we held for the last three hours.

Once Cato sets his water to the side he dunks his head into the river, comes out and shakes himself dry. The sight is something I never expected to see and I can't help but let out a quick laugh.

He glances over at me, a smirk on the edge of his mouth. "So you are capable of laughing?"

I give him my best pointed look I can manage, "anybody can laugh."

"Yeah but I've never seen you so much as crack a smile."

"Not a lot to smile about here." I grumble, any amusement missing from my voice, he lets it drop and I'm grateful. I don't want to discuss my happiness right now.

But wanting to keep the decently comfortable vibe I decide to keep some sort of conversation going, "So if we do manage to bust the force field, than what?"

He shrugs, examining his water bottle "Keep walking till we hit civilization? Find out what the fuck is going on?"

I nod, and after I catch my breath I get up to do some light hunting. I don't go too far, I don't have to. I get a squirrel easily before heading back. By now are water should be fine to drink so I take a long sip.

Cato must spot the squirrel, he looks at it with disgust then looks at me. "Are you seriously going to eat that?"

"No." I see him relax, "We're going to eat this."

I see the horror in his face and I do my best not to laugh. I begin to make a quick fire pit, no longer worried about somebody finding me from the smoke.

He probably thought I was joking but when I begin to skin the squirrel and start the cooking process he jumps back. "No no no no no Fire Girl, I'm not eating that thing."

"Suit yourself." I say kicking back and watching the meat slowly roast, licking my lips. More for me I guess.

When it looks good and ready I kick the fire out and take a bite. I see Cato recoil in my peripheral vision but do my best to ignore him. But after his third 'eh' I give up. "Does it seriously seem so bad?"

"Yes."

"It's really not you know." I say, though I stop to get a small chunk of meat out of my teeth.

"And where did you learn to hunt?"

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that he asked. And moreover every time he's tried to talk to me I've shot him away. I figure I'll tell him just this once.

"Sometimes... In District twelve I go hunting."

I watch his reaction carefully, confusion turns to thoughtful thinking and then slowly to realization.

"You break the law?"

I pause. "Yes."

We stare at each other for a minute and I can almost see the wheels in his head turning, trying to make sense of it. Finally he asks, "Why?"

I watch him for a minute, he's taller and weighs more than any of the boys back in twelve. His arms are thick with muscle, he's probably eaten a meal every day of his life. So finally I relent and tell him, because I probably already said too much anyway. "District Twelve is not Two." Before he can tell me 'obviously,' I go on, "People die every day from starvation. I'd rather take a bullet to the head then waste away slowly."

With that I finish off my squirrel and we begin a light jog once more.

* * *

><p>By evening time were so far into the woods that I finally get a feeling of just how big the arena is. Cato slows down as the sky begins to fade in a purple and blue shade.<p>

"We stop here." He says. I don't like being ordered and if I had any energy left I would argue, but at this point I'm so tired I'm ready to just go to bed.

There's the manner of sleeping arrangements, "I take first watch." He sighs, I'm thankful for it to because I don't think I could stay up much longer. I cast a glance up to the trees but decide against it. If Cato's on watch than I shouldn't have to worry too much.

I bite back a yawn and unroll my sleeping bag. I rest my head on my backpack and do my best to get comfortable. Just as I'm lulled into sleep I can feel his eyes on me, watching me from his spot across the fire.

_I'm in the forest. Gale's here. It seems to natural that I don't question it even though I know Gale shouldn't be here._

_"Catnip."_

_"Hmmm?" My lips vibrate and he laughs._

_He's talking but I don't really hear him, I do catch words though. "Free, finally, no more."_

_"Oh Gale we__'__re not free." I whine. It does sound like I'm a child, talking about something that doesn't seem fair._

_"What are you talking about?"_

_Before I can answer it's Prim sitting beside me, my heart burst and I feel the tears before I can put a halt to them. I grab hold of her and begin to rock her back in forth in my arms, it's probably more for my comfort than hers. And she cries and laughs and says she's so happy to see me. I feel more arms and I'm surprised to see both my mom and dad there holding me as well and saying how proud they are. We__'__re a family once more, but it all seems to fade away._

The cracking of the fire greets me first. The sky is now pitch black. I roll onto my side and see Cato blinking. I don't know how long I was out but he looks exhausted. I sit up and give a quick yawn.

Wordlessly we switch, he gets into his already made bed and I take my place under the tree.

"Prim is your sister?"

For a second I think I'm hearing things but Cato's eyes are watching me and I realize he must have asked. "Yes."

He nods but I can see him already falling unconscious. It only takes him a few minutes but soon his breathing slows. I watch him for a moment, amazed at how young he looks in his sleep. No arrogant smile, no hard features. Tranquil is the best word I can think of.

I think about my dream, my father and mother and Prim and I. It hasn't been that way in nearly five years.

I think of home and what they must think, if they're safe or not. How they must be holding up. If anybody wonders about Peeta and I.

Times seems to drag on and on, it feels like hours but in reality I'm probably just skimming an hour.

I add some fallen branches to the fire and watch it erupt.

I kick back and try to relax, listening to the forest. A few times I wonder if any animals will try to come and scavenge for food, but the night goes by uneventful. As the sky turns grey with morning fast approaching I let Cato sleep for a bit longer, and now that I can see more clearly I scale the tree I'd been leaning on. It's an apple which doesn't surprise me one bit, I've seen quite a few here in the arena.

I go around the ones with worms and manage to snag two decent ones, though on the smaller side.

The sound of me rustling in the tree must have woken Cato up because when I climb out he's just beginning to sit up. I toss the apple into his lap and bite into my own.

We have a speedy breakfast with my dried beef jerky, he throws in some bread, and then we get rid of the fire and move on.

The forest thickens so we don't jog today, instead maneuver around the fallen branches and trees growing to close together. A couple of times Cato pulls his sword out and slashes through the thickest of it. But really we're moving so slow that I'm able to look around and catch my breath.

Usually I'm not this winded just from walking, but the forest is steep and there's a lot of climbing involved.

"Ration the water until we get to back to the river." I sigh, my lips are chapped but I don't dare drink any more water out here in the middle of nowhere.

Cato only gives me a tired 'yeah' as he cuts and kicks the branches of a fallen tree, constantly he wipes his forehead were a great deal of sweat has collected. I feel useless trailing behind him, he's much bigger and stronger than me and makes making the trail look almost easy, but I know if the roles were reversed we'd be miles back.

I think of yesterday and how I ate the squirrel alone, he hasn't eaten much from what I've seen and must be starving.

Usually I wouldn't care about how much food a Career needs, but now I owe him at least one decent meal. When we finally get into a small clearing I stop him from continuing.

"Let's stop for a while and I'll try to find something to eat."

He doesn't put up much of a fight, huffing out that he needs to sharpen his sword anyway.

I begin to make my way to the thinnest part of the forest, making sure I know my way back to Cato. It's all too easy getting lost out here. I pull my bow out and move slowly, my eyes looking for any game. I'm tempted to take out more squirrel but doubt Cato would eat any. He really needs to eat soon.

There really isn't much here, the grass is dead which tells me we are far from water. Which also means not many animals.

We might have to turn around when we run out of water. I spent my first two days in the arena dehydrating to death, I refuse to go through that again.

Just as I begin to feel the dread coursing through my veins I hear a bird sing. Instantly my mood shifts as I try to follow the sound.

Eggs. I lick my lips at the sight of a nest far up in a tree. It's rare we have eggs back home, Prim hates that we're eating baby birds so I usually end up trading them or Gale will take them.

I lean my bow and backpack against the tree, most of the branches are too thin to support me, but this forest is so thick that there is another tree right next to it. It's branches aren't ideal either but I probably have a better chance on them. I move slow, balancing my weight and praying I don't fall and break my neck.

When I get close enough I peak over and see three small eggs in the nest, I put them in my pocket and begin to descend, careful that they don't get smashed.

I didn't hear him coming, but when I'm halfway down I notice Cato staring at my bow and then spotting me.

I'm mindful of the branches and when I'm close enough I jump. I pat my pocket, all eggs intact.

"You do that a lot don't you?"

"Do what?"

"Climb trees."

He hands me my stuff and we make our way back to the clearing. It takes me a minute to realize he came looking for me, the notion surprises me. I wasn't gone long and can't imagine him actually worrying.

Back in the clearing I look at the dry grass with some worry, I've never really run into this problem before.

"The grass is dry... If we start a fire and it gets out of control we're as good as dead." I say, kicking the ground as a tuff of it goes flying in the air.

"Yeah... I thought of that to."

I know were both thinking of the fire on the day of the announcement. I'm surprised when he begins to dig, easily pulling the grass out and then getting around into the dirt. There's a small hole and I almost want to thank him, what he just did was genius.

I guess I might have thought of it, but more than likely I would have kept going and ignoring my hunger.

"I'll get some rocks, go grab some of those branches." He motions to the way we just came from where he cut through the trees.

He lines the dirt with rocks the size of his fist and I get the fire going. I grab the small pan from my bag, grateful to Rue for grabbing it, and start cooking the eggs.

I wipe the sweat from my brow and end up putting my jacket in my bag, the sun is getting higher and higher in the sky, now mixed with the fire is enough to make me sweat.

When the eggs are done we both take sips from our water bottles and make slow work of eating, savoring every bight.

When we're done we both make sure the fires dead and that not a single amber remains. Reluctantly we begin to go again.

"So what do your parent do?" He asks.

I'm so caught off guard by the question that I stare at him with wide eyes. All I can muster up is a "Huh?"

He only shrugs, "I figure we might as well talk, and since you won't tell me anything about you..."

I want to remind him I told him about hunting but shrug it off. "My mom's the town healer..."

"And your dad?"

I swallow back the pain associated with him. "Died in a mining accident."

"Oh... I'm sorry."

His tone of voice surprises me. He sounds like he genuinely means it, I have to remind myself who I'm with and that he couldn't possibly mean it. He's a Career.

But the more I think about it the worse I feel about thinking of Cato as just the Career monster. He's been nice enough to me so far. He looked for me in the forest and he's tried several times to talk to me, every time I've shut him down or snapped. Before I can stop myself my mouth is open and I'm asking, "So what about your parents?"

He watches me from the corner of his eyes as he cuts through more forest, like he can't believe I'd actually keep this conversation going.

"My mom stays home and watches me and my siblings. My dad is a manager at the quarry."

"You have siblings?" I know it shouldn't surprise me, but somehow it does. I just never thought much about other districts and how many kids they might have. District Twelve averages two kids per household, Gale and his three younger brothers and sisters are an abnormality.

These kids are usually a mistake by parents, Greasy Sae told me about it once, saying birth control from the Capital was a conspiracy, that a shipment was 'faulty' at least once a year to keep populations ideal. It makes sense to, most people in District Twelve can hardly support themselves let alone a spouse and kids.

But I guess this wouldn't happen as much in District Two.

"Two," Cato says, "A younger brother and sister."

I turn the new information around in my head, "Do they train too?"

He looks far away, lost in his own world. "Jet, my brother does. I don't think they'll actually pick him though. My sister Lani can't even pick a sword up."

I wonder if he means she's too young to do much or too weak be he's talking again before I can ask, "Do you take Prim hunting?"

I want to laugh remembering the one time I did take her with me. "I did once but she heals like my mom, whenever I caught a rabbit or something she would cry and try to save it." He laughs and maybe this conversation (which I don't entirely hate) would go on, but we both turn to the sound of a 'pop' and look to the west were the falling orange light of a flare is visible.


	6. Hypothermia

**Chapter 6: Hypothermia**

* * *

><p><strong><strong>**Thank you for all of the reviews! Just to clear it up, a few people seem confused, the plan is that with the flare guns the four groups will go: North (Katniss & Cato) East (Marvel & Azora) South (Marrisa & Thresh) West (Clove & Peeta), when they reach the force field they fire off one flare, when all four have been shot they'll fire at the force filed, which by then hopefully Marrisa will have a plan for destroying it. If they destroy it, great, head back to the Cornucopia and re-group. I hope that clears everything up, feel free to ask any questions if you need too.**

* * *

><p>We watched the flare silently fall to the ground, it was so far, a good two days walk. We watch as it slowly falls to the ground before I hear Cato laughing beside me. Unsure of what could be so amusing I raise my eyebrow to him.<p>

He flashes me a smile, "I think Clove sees all of this as some sort of competition, she probably dragged lover boy through the forest all night just to beat us all in a race she's imagining."

I give a small laugh, "Oh poor Peeta, he's carrying all that food and supplies."

At this Cato cracks up even more, "You know what else it means?"

"Hmm?"

"It took Clove a day a night and then a half a day to get there." I suddenly know exactly what he means, "we might get there tomorrow afternoon?"

"If we sleep. But we also have this damn forest to deal with."

But it doesn't matter, I feel a smile growing on my face. Almost there I tell myself. Almost done with this whole mess.

"No sense in wasting time then."

He smiles and we begin our trek once more.

* * *

><p>We crash through the forest, finally picking up speed as it thins. The clouds overhead darken and I realize our good weather is disappearing quickly. A light trickle of rain starts up.<p>

"So are you the first in your family to volunteer?" I ask once we get back to a steady pace.

Cato puts his sword away now that were out of the worst of it.

"Me? No. My grandpa on my dad's side was a victor of one of the earlier Games. He died before I was even born... damn fool chocked to death on a piece of meat." He laughs lightly and I join in before he continues, "my dad was supposed to volunteer, he got chosen by the Council but a few days before the Reaping he got pushed down some stairs, twisted his ankle, it gets like that you know? The others get jealous you're chosen and will try to take your place."

It took my sister's name being called for me to volunteer, there's no way I would have done it otherwise. I don't say this though instead I ask, "was your dad okay?"

Cato shrugs, "He wasn't able to volunteer, it was the last year he was able to. Someone took his place and got themselves killed. He got better but he still has a limp, plus he never shuts up about how badly he wanted to go into the arena."

"What's the Council?" I can't help but ask, I'm fascinated in learning about another District. Maybe I'm just trying to understand why they love the Games so much.

"The Council are the ones who run the academy, were we train at. A lot of people join but only the best get picked for the honor of volunteering when we turn eighteen."

"But isn't Clove about to turn fifteen?"

He snorts, "Yeah I have no idea how she managed it. Her mom and dad are reluctant to even let her train, When she volunteered I think her mom fainted."

I snort, honestly Clove was one of the scarier tributes with all her knives, between her and Cato's sword it's a good bet it would be between the two of them to win. He jumps off a medium boulder as a heavy rain starts. I'm surprised when he offers me his hand to get off the same boulder. Thankful I take it and jump.

I get my jacket on and pull the hood over, but the rain is heavy. It quickly begins to soak into my clothes, my pants first but slowly it takes an effect on my jacket. The wind stings my cheeks and my eyes. Cato seems to be in no better condition.

"We should find shelter!" I yell, he nods and we begin to make our way to the rocks. I hope to find a cave, my eyes search the cliffs, looking for any openings.

"Katniss!"

Before I can even react something slams into the side of my body. I lose all footing and find myself being pushed and pulled, thrown to the ground. I end up swallowing way too much water and I realize with horror that I can't breathe.

_Water, I'm in water._

I've only ever gone swimming in the summer, nice peaceful days. The water was always fairly still, perfect for learning.

But this is more than I can possibly handle. I don't think swimming would help much either. I can move but every time I try to find an escape I'm halted by a new wave.

My vision blurs, black dots form. I might just pass out a few times, but a burn will fill my chest and I'll be left gasping and trying to get even a wisp of air. I end up inhaling way too much water that even when I manage to get my head above the water I'm left coughing.

_I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to die._

My limbs grow so heavy I can hardly manage my flail anymore, I feel as though I suddenly weigh much more than I really do because soon I'm falling under and under, I think my back may hit the bottom, I'm not really sure

But my eyes slip shut as the burn in my chest grows.

* * *

><p>The rain hits my face, it hits everywhere actually but I feel it the most on my face. I feel something slamming onto my chest, and then the rain stops tickling my face and my lips feel warm. I prefer this feeling, but it leaves to quickly and the slamming on my chest starts back up and the rain will sting my face once more.<p>

"Come on!" A voice yells.

I don't know what to make of this until the water come pouring out my gut and I twist my face to the side and cough it up.

Water... I almost drowned didn't I? The knowledge hits me fast and I try to open my eyes. Everything's hazy at first, the black dots continue to float in my vision. Blond, blue eyes. The eyes actually look worried and it takes me a few seconds to realize that it's Cato staring at me. I remember him calling my name before I'd been swept away.

"W-wha-t," I try to ask what happened but just end up coughing some more.

"Flash flood." He tells me.

He's soaked to the bone, but so am I. "Y-ou s-s-saved m-me?"

He nods but doesn't offer up any other exclamation. "Come on, we have to get out of the rain."

Something feels wrong, a strange enigma. But I figure I can ignore it until I get someplace warm. Cato's arm wraps behind my waist, I toss my arm around his shoulder and we begin a shaky trip to the cliffs.

"Cave?" I ask, my voice is hoarse and scratchy.

"I see one." He nods.

I look but can't see anything, the rains pouring harder and a mist has gathered all around us. I don't see this cave until we're right at the entrance, a good thing too because I know I can't stay on my feet much longer.

It's dark, relatively dry, the front is steep but this is perfect for keeping the water out. Cato sits me down against the wall and I try to catch my breath. He sits beside me, also trying to catch his breath. I wonder if the current also took him?

My back aches and I realize my bow, arrows, and bag are still there. My knife is missing but I'm sure I can get another. I can't get more arrows, my fingers shake and I have more trouble getting everything off of me then I should. My fingers barely clutch and I have to shrug it off more than anything.

My bag is waterproof so I don't worry about it too much, my bow is intact, much to my relief. But most of my arrows are gone. I stare at it a moment, the room is spinning and I can't keep my eyes focused long enough to count just how many I have left.

I glance to Cato who's shaking so terribly he would put a leaf in the wind to shame. His lips are blue and there are distinct red marks on his ears and face. Somehow, I know I match.

Hypothermia.

It's rare in District Twelve. I only saw it once, in a little boy from the community home. He'd been locked out in the winter in nothing better than rags. Somebody from the Seam found him and brought him to my mother.

She'd stripped him of the rags and then wrapped him in just about all the blankets in the house, then she hugged him...

I know I'm forgetting something... Something very important. I rack my brain trying to find the key to my survival.

I'm so cold. No. I _was _so cold. I'm losing feeling though. That's bad. That's really really bad. I need to warm up. "Cato, give me your sleeping bag." My voice scratches, hoarse and tired.

He has difficulty closing his fingers around the straps just as I did, I crawl over and remove the straps. He doesn't fuss as I try to unzip the bag, reaching in and pawing at things until I'm holding his sleeping bag. I have to repeat these steps with my own. I'm growing miserable, a pounding headache hits me and a wave a dizziness and nausea come up fast.

Nevertheless I do my best to zip our bags together. It takes several attempts, my fingers jerk and hardly respond to my brain. I know I won't last much longer. Neither will Cato. I have to save him. He saved me. Gotta save him.

I smile when I finally get the zippers together, I seal the bags together until we have one big bag. Then I begin to strip.

My jacket is weighed down from all the water it's absorbed, but I manage to peel it off. I see my mockingjay pin which has gone unnoticed since Cinna gave it back to me in the launch room. I make sure my jackets laid out to hopefully dry on a nearby rock. Then I get my shirt over my head which must be when Cato notices what I'm doing.

"Wh-what the fuck are you doing?" His voice is growing hoarse as well. His shaking is slowing down, I know that can't be good.

"W-were goi-going to f-f-freeze. B-body heat."

He sees the joined sleeping bags and me quickly getting out of my soaked clothes and must finally understand.

The button on my pants is the worst, I push and pull but can't manage to curl my fingers and unbutton it. My fingers grow raw from how much effort I put into it but finally I have it off and I'm shoving at the zipper until it's far enough down. I lean against the wall and do my best to kick my boots off. To my dismay my socks were also turned into water sponges.

Either way I'm left standing in a cave. With a boy. Left only in my bra and panties.

I leave those on, some small realm in my mind tells me it'll be fine.

I'm tempted to dive into the warm, dry, insulated bed I've made. But Cato's barely gotten out of his jacket and I have to turn away and help him.

'No time to be modest'

I wrap my arms over my chest and make my way to Cato, I tug at his shirt. He stares at me.

"N-not b-b-ad F-ir-e- g-irl."

It's tempting to smack him, but right now every bit of energy needs to be saved. I manage to get his shirt high enough that he can get out of it.

A small blush forms on my face, it's warm and I savor in it, but not at what I have to do next.

Gingerly I go to undo his own pants button. And son of a bitch I can't get it done. I could hardly do mine let alone his. He smirks, though I can tell just how forced it is, and helps me get it done. It probably didn't take very long, but to me it felt like a decade. Soon he's got only boxers covering him.

He stumbles out of his boots and socks and follows me to the sleeping bags. I push around until I finally manage to get in between them, Cato follows quickly and I actually let out a sigh.

His skin is still wet, we're both shivering uncontrollably, but the warmth of the bags mixed with our close proximity lets me finally relax. My vision blurs but I manage to stay partially conscious.

His arms wrap around me and drag me to him. I don't think about it, simply throw my own arms around his shoulders.

His fingers clutch onto the sleeping bag and drags it to our chins.

I close my eyes and I am slowly lulled into a deep, deep sleep.


	7. Explosions

My eyes feel heavy. Everything about me feels heavy. It takes more effort than it would normally just to get my eyes open. I immediately close them though, the sun is to bright.

We must have slept through the whole night as the sun reaches maybe nine in the morning.

I sigh, I feel much better after a nights rest and my temperature seems to be back to a normal degree.

Beside me I see Cato's eyes are still closed but he looks much better. His chest rises and falls with each breath he takes.

I'm aware of our states of undress but I won't acknowledged it just yet. I'm too tired, and even when my stomach rumbles with hunger I don't get up. If anything I pull the covers back up and let sleep return.

* * *

><p>When I wake up again the sun is much higher, my nose tickles and my stomach growls louder. But what I notice the most of the whole thing is the absence of the warm body heater that was next to me. I roll onto my stomach, my head swims and I have a hard time adjusting to the simple movement, nausea scrapes the back of my throat. I'm tempted to get up but I know I won't get far.<p>

I bury my face into the fabric of the bag, then begin the painfully long process of letting my adjust from total darkness to afternoon sunshine.

Once I begin to blink I can finally see the cave, it doesn't got too far in but enough that we could safely store our stuff and then lay in the sleeping bag.

There are a few rocks were my clothes are tossed on. I blush, now that I can remember just what happened my half nakedness seems like a much bigger deal than it originally had.

And stripping Cato...

Crap, where is he?

At first I see his clothes thrown around haphazardly with mine and I wonder if he's out in the forest half naked somewhere, but then I remember that most Careers have an extra set of clothes. And so do I.

I cast a look to make sure I really am alone before crawling out to my bag. Inside I find everything dry, much to my relief. After I'm dressed I re-braid my hair before reluctantly grabbing my quiver.

My vision is relatively normal so I begin to count the arrows left.

Nine are in it. Which means I only lost three.

It's probably better than I could have asked for, I could have easily lost all of them. Still I have to hold my sigh back as I begin to reorganize everything.

While the sun is up there are still a few clouds in the way, a slight wind as well which makes me unsure of drying my clothes properly. Instead I unzip Cato's sleeping bag from mine and roll it up and stuff it away. Eventually I grab my clothes and put them away too, figuring I'll wash them later.

I hear rocks falling outside, the sound of sliding.

He was climbing. At least I hope it's him. I begin to toss his stuff together when Cato comes strolling into the cave.

"Up already?" Comes his sarcastic voice.

"Why'd you let me sleep so late?" I ask. I am grateful he let me though. But still we have a schedule to stick to- and oh crap I'm turning into Effie Trinket.

He shrugs, "I tried too, you kept getting mad at me so I figured I'd scout this place out."

The small amount of anger I'd felt in that moment disappears, at least he'd made good use of the time.

"Find anything?"

He begins to roll up his own sleeping bag, "Well were in between two forests right now, there's about three miles of it before we hit a field. I think that might be the force field. "

Force field, it seemed like such a small thing now. But then the real problem surfaced.

"When we were asleep, did any flares go off?"

He shrugged, "I was out too..."

I swallow, worry feels me. We all had to attack the force field at the same time, Cato and I might just screw it all up...

I shake my head, shouldering my backpack and bow.

"I'm going to go get some hunting done."

Without looking at me he mumbles we should leave in a half hour.

Just as I'm leaving the cave entrance Cato's voice stops me, "Katniss."

I stop in my tracks, my arms and legs feel stiff but I manage to turn and squeak out a 'yes?'

"Thank you... For not letting me freeze to death..."

"You saved me." I shrug as nonchalantly as possible. "Yeah but- whatever just go hunt."

I offer a quick smile before heading into the forest.

* * *

><p>I manage to get a rabbit. I might have gotten a fish too if I weren't so reluctant to go the river which has now become a harmless looking place. I'm skinning my latest kill on my way back to the cave were I can see smoke steadily rising.<p>

Cato glance up from his spot beside it, sword in lap as he cleans it with a rag. I see the hunger in his eyes, he probably hasn't eaten since the eggs yesterday, I feel the hunger to. At the look of curiosity in his eyes I dangle the rabbit in front of him. He might just lick his lips.

I cook it in silence before cutting it for the two of us. Though I intentionally give him the bigger piece. I lick my fingers every few minutes as I dig into the meat. I'm surprised at just how comfortable the silence is. I remember now the first day I saw him the forest, after my quickie bath, how uncomfortable and nervous I felt.

After we've kicked the fire out and get ready to move out is there is another 'pop' and a flare flies in the east. Azora and Marvel made it.

Cato grumbles and somehow I know he's getting uneasy about being last. Either way we begin to go. I'm relieved that he doesn't try to jog like the first day. My mind is still wobbly from yesterday.

We do maintain a fast pace as we go back into the forest. Just as well, I've never heard of a flash flood in the woods.

The woods themselves are a lot less dense then the ones we just came out of. I can't imagine a tribute actually coming this far out in the Games. But that means it has to end soon.

Downhill, uphill, this place has it all. Suddenly three miles seem much longer than what it would normally be. Sweat forms easily on my neck and face but I guess I can't really complain about the weather right now. My jackets still wet and if there was to be another rainstorm we'd have to turn around and take cover in the cave again.

But Cato's determined to get there and keeps a certain speed at all times. I begin to breath harder but do my best not to object, taking sips of water every time I become to winded.

He stops so abruptly that I almost run into his back. I'm about to ask him what the hell he's doing, just stopping like that. But he does something that bewilders me at first. Bending down he picks up a pine cones and hurls it out. I'm not sure what to make of it until the cone stops midair, fries, and shoots to rest smoking at our feet.

We're here.

He gives me a boyish grin before pulling the flare gun out of his bag. He aims high and I watch as it shoots into the sky, the smoke steadily climbing before an exploding orange light arrives with the trademark 'pop'.

We both watch the south carefully, Marrisa and Thresh could have arrived to their border the night before when we were asleep. They must have, because soon the force field is glowing a purple and pink color as it strains against some unknown pressure. Cato grabs my hand and drags me back before lifting the flare gun and firing it at the now visible shield.

I worry that they will come hurdling back towards us. But they don't. They push against the shield, burning out after leaving scorch marks in their wake.

I'm getting more and more skeptical that this will work when I am literally blown off my feet.

There's pain, white hot pain that comes from explosions. A loud roar feels my ears as I tumble on the ground. I slam into a tree stomach first and end up vomiting the rabbit up.

But it doesn't really matter to me. Because when I shakily left my head and spot Cato only few feet away and we lock eyes and I know we did it.

The force field is gone.

* * *

><p><strong>More reviews read all of them and loved every single one of them. I know this chapter is short, but it's only because were finally getting to the real part of the story, mainly them escaping and finding out what's going on. Yada yada yada. We all came here for the romance :)<strong>


	8. Goodbye Cornucopia

There was nothing to my right. No force field and nothing keeping me from running like a mad woman, putting as much distance between me and the arena as possible.

But I guess I couldn't do that could I? No not with little Rue back at the Cornucopia. And Peeta more than likely cut up from a fully stocked set of knives. As carefully as possible I lifted myself off of the ground. My hands were shaky, my legs turned to rubber. There's a ringing in my ears that I hope will leave soon.

I used the tree I'd crashed into as support in getting up, Cato does the same. He lets out a tired laugh, "She actually did it."

I let out a breath, "wonder how."

"Let's find out." He says, I almost cry. I don't know if I can make it through the woods again.

"Come on, it's always faster going back." He reassures, probably after seeing my expression. Reluctantly I follow him. We don't go very fast, both getting used to walking after the explosion.

We pass the cliffs were we slept in the night before and move into the dense forest once again. We stick to the clear path we came through before, all cut by Cato. It's much easier then I remember but that's probably because there isn't nearly as much climbing as before. We hunker down a good five miles past the cave, a fire roaring with my latest kills. Cato must be so hungry he doesn't object to the squirrel.

Night falls quickly and I take first watch.

I'm left with my thoughts as my travel buddy sleeps away. If I wasn't sure about it before I know now. If the Capital started the Games again, there's no way I'd be able to kill him.

He's the monster from District Two. The brute who killed senselessly at the bloodbath. But he's also the boy who pulled me from the water, and even though I repaid that debt in the cave I still feel grateful. He didn't need me at that point. He had enough food to get back without me.

He saved me first and maybe I'll always be trying to repay him for that.

I'm not sure about what he thinks, if he would still kill me if the Games started again. Maybe he'd have the conscience to do it quickly.

He sleeps for hours before I can hardly keep my eyes open and shake him awake.

I slip into my bag, content to know he's the one on watch duty.

* * *

><p>The next day is pure walking. Walking, crashing, tumbling. All in the name of getting back to the Cornucopia. I don't fork away to hunt, instead take down anything that happens to be in our path. We cook it quickly, hardly setting up a proper fire, before moving on. We have to be getting closer, Cato was right when he said it's always faster going back. Already I begin to recognize landmarks from before.<p>

We don't walk in silence, not all the time anyway. We talk about things, anything really. That old tom cat Buttercup makes a half hour appearance as I try to explain why I tried to drown him.

He tells me more about his family. His sister, Lani, is seven. She's doesn't train at the academy which makes her non-existent to their parents. His brother, Jet, is thirteen. He's not that great at the academy, which also makes him invisible. And it wasn't until The Council choose Cato to volunteer that his parents really bothered to pay attention to him.

"It felt weird the week before the reaping. They hovered and constantly made sure I was okay. My dad wouldn't let me anywhere near the stairs either."

The way he describes his parents makes it almost understandable why he would volunteer. His mother alone makes Mrs. Mellark sound like a saint. Something tells me his parents didn't marry for love, it was probably an arranged sort of thing.

I tell him about District Twelve, Gale and the hob. How the fence isn't electrocuted, and how I spent just about every day out there. Greasy Sae and her strange wonders of soups. He's asks if I knew Peeta well, I don't go into detail. I just tell him the basics. Peeta was a merchants kid and I am from the Seam.

I smell awful, there's sweat covering just about every inch of my skin.

My feet ache and my shoulders feel raw from where the things I carry dig into my shirt.

I'm growing tired as the sun begins to descend. But smoke invades my senses and I know were getting closer. I stumble once, and an arm reaches out to grab my elbow. I'm so surprised at not crashing to the ground that I end up staring at Cato with wide surprised eyes.

Before I can thank him, or ask him why he's still helping me, the small voice of my ally reaches my ears.

"Katniss! Katniss!"

I stand on my own two legs as Cato drops my arm and Rue comes shooting through the first layer of trees. If there wasn't a smile ear to ear on her face I might be worried she were in trouble.

"You guys are okay!" Her little arms wrap around my waist and I'm just so happy to see her that I don't have the heart to tell her how tired I am. I pat her on the back as she steps away, taking my hand and leading me back to the camp. She sends Cato a sheepish smile, unsure how to act around him. "You two are the last to get back."

He nods to her, but I see a strange twinkle in his eyes. I wonder if Rue reminds him of his sister as she does for me?

Either way we crash through the last of the forest were everybody waits at the fire, watching us emerge. I offer Marrisa a tired 'thank you' as I plop into one of the empty spots around the fire. My eyes shoot to Peeta who has a bandage wrapped around his forehead, when he sees me staring he gives a tired smile, "Pack of dogs."

"Dogs. No mutations." Clove corrects, her right hand is wrapped to cover what I imagine are bite marks.

Cato sits next to me and Rue to the other side.

"So how'd you do it?" I ask the girl behind it all.

Marrisa smiles, "A combination of fuel and electricity. And of course the force field being attacked at different sides all at once became too much for it."

"We were just talking about how somebody will have to notice the explosion." Marvel sighed, even as he relaxes into his seat I see him wince, bad bruising I assume. It seems Cato and I aren't the only ones to take a beating.

"So we sleep tonight, tomorrow morning we have a nice little feast and take what we can carry. Get the hell out of this place." Clove mumbles, I see the long black bags under her eyes, Cato was right when he said she wouldn't stop until she was the first there and back.

"We head east, we have a better chance of hitting a District that way." Thresh mumbles from his spot across the fire.

We all give our mumbled agreements before dragging ourselves to sleep, once again around the fire pit just as the night before we left.

* * *

><p>We sleep in the next morning. I'm not sure how long but when I do wake up the others are also beginning to get up. Azora gets a nice handful of food out and we all pounce. We won't be able to carry much, it would be best if we left on full stomachs.<p>

I find Peeta having not spoken to him much the night before, I'd been too tired to ask much of anything.

He smiles, handing me a bottle of water.

"So how was your District Two?" He asks.

"Surprisingly well." I respond, not wanting to go into any sort of detail. "And yours?"

I eye the bandage wrapped around his forehead, he notices my stare and smiles. "Believe it or not she saved me."

My eyes grow wide, District Two is full of surprises it would seem.

"She didn't want to stop all night. I was so tired the next morning but she kept pushing on and on. Anyway in the morning we were attacked by some wild dogs. I got one off but was too tired to do much else. I saw her throw a knife in my general direction... I thought I was as good as dead..."

The words hang in the air, she saved him. He must have tried to jump out of the way in what he thought was her attacking and took a scrape to the forehead.

The others begin to kick around the supplies and I know we must be getting ready to go. I double check my bag, repacking so that my things fit better. I add a basic first aid kit to my pack, even though doubt I can use it too well, I figure someone else might.

When everything loaded up we all take one last look at the pile, eyes searching for anything that might be useful. Nothing shoots out to me. While the others get ready to head out I find Rue who lets me double check her bag. She packed pretty well, I move her sleeping bag up so that she won't have to fuss with it later.

That's when I notice her nails, she sees my bewildered expression at the colorful flowers painted on them.

"Glimmer decided to make fingernail polish out of berries."

I laugh a bit, "they look... pretty." She smiles and I slip the backpack onto her shoulders.

And with full stomachs we begin to move East. I stick with Peeta and Rue in the back, moving only fast enough to stay with the rest. Cato and Marvel take the lead

I don't know what the future will hold. I can only hope the ten of us can face it.

* * *

><p><strong>Personally I think this went by a little fast. But that's okay because now there were I want them and I can get romance rolling. To those wondering if Peeta and Clove will get together... it is a multiple paring fic... and if you've seen the poll on my profile's results it's almost obvious who's going with who.<strong>

**This will also be from Katniss's POV only.**

**And thank you for all of the reviews! I LOVED each and every one of them.**


	9. Side Effects

I like to hear Rue talk.

Her voice holds an innocence that I've almost forgotten in the arena. It's light and airy and full of wonder. She'll look at me with her big brown eyes and ask what I think. We travel at the back of the group, the sun is rising as we leave the hell we lost so much at. Except for Rue and her innocent mind. Though I'm relieved to know she isn't naive. She knows were in trouble, to look and listen and always stay alert.

She becomes the glue that holds us together, Glimmer (who is leaving the viscous persona behind and seems to be returning to the girl she must have been) seems especially taken with Rue. I assume they bonded well while we were gone.

I know my reasoning for wanting to protect her. Prim. But more than that I see Rue as a survivor against all odds. It's a desirable trait.

Thresh also looks after her, if I didn't know better I would think they were family. Him her older brother or something of the sort.

And Cato looks at her occasionally, and I can almost hear him thinking it could be Lani.

Cato... He's become the default leader of our little group. Just as he was with the Careers he's taken charge of everything. He leads through the forest, a brisk pace that often evicts complaints. He keeps it slow for a while before trying to take off again.

Marvel attempts to lead a few times, when Cato might try and take a break himself. It might be amusing to watch if I didn't think they were going to kill each other at a seconds notice. It reminds me of their fight at the Cornucopia before the mutations.

Either way Marvel isn't the same leader as Cato and often struggles to get people to listen to him. Much to his frustration. He'll stomp around and try to get somebody to do his bidding before giving up and collapsing.

I guess I shouldn't be too surprised that he and Peeta strike up a friendship. Peeta makes friends with anybody he can manage. Often I catch glimpses of Marvel complaining to Peeta about Cato, Peeta will nod his head uncomfortably, I can tell he doesn't feel comfortable gossiping about somebody.

Marvel doesn't care, he'll say something like, "he thinks he's so great just because he benches just a bit more than me, seriously only just a little bit."

And we all do our best not to laugh when Cato just happens to be nearby and hears this. Because in a few minutes Marvel finds himself walking away with his tail between his legs.

We made good pacing the first day, putting a solid distance with ourselves from the Cornucopia. Come twilight and Azora reassured us that the border was only a few miles away.

Either way a we stopped for the night, just as twilight turns to night. I set about making a fire pit, then lighting it while the others set up a quick camp.

I think we were all too tired to stay up and make plans, Azora took first watch as we all prepared to go to bed. I unrolled my sleeping bag and laid it on the softest ground I could find before catching up on my sleep.

I slept so hard that night that when I woke up it felt as though I'd slept clear to the next afternoon, which is why I was baffled when I saw it was still night.

Groggily I sat up, unsure of what to do with myself. The fire, which was now much weaker, warmed my face. I blinked a few times, alertness coming back quickly.

Around me were the sleeping faces of my companions. Most of which were dead to the world right now.

I was awake though, no way I'd get back to sleep. I figured I could relieve whoever was on watch.

Slipping out of my bag I pulled on my boots when a voice interrupted me. Soft, but still laced with undeniable authority. "Go back to bed Fire Girl."

Cato watches me from across the fire, his back against the tree and his legs kicked out. He looked like he was relaxing in a completely normal setting.

I almost wanted to snort at the sight as I make my way over, "I'm not tired. You can go to bed now."

He shrugged, the sword on his back bouncing from the movement. "I'm not tired either."

Unsure of what to do with myself I stood there awkwardly. Seeing my discomfort he put me out of my misery, giving the seat next to him a pat.

Relieved by the invitation I slide into the spot.

"I never really thanked you... for not letting me drown." I mumbled, afraid that somebody might be awake. But the truth was I'd thought about that time a lot. He must have jumped into the water. It's the only way to explain how he'd gotten so wet so fast.

"Oh you thanked me." He smirked.

"Huh?"

"The cave."

"Oh." I tried not to feel the blush crawling onto my cheeks. The cave. I cleared my throat, "I would call that returning the favor. Not a thank you."

He smiled, not a smirk but an actual smile. "We'll call it even."

"Even." I agreed.

I stretched my limbs out, happy whenever the satisfying pop occurred.

I instantly freeze when I hear the mockingjays scream. I know that sound. There's a hovercraft here. My eyes shoot to Cato who looks just as shocked as me.

We both jump at the same time, him putting out our dim fire and me jumping to wake the others up quickly and quietly.

Some of them understand what the noise means, others are too tired to put the pieces together. Either way we all manage to stuff our sleeping bags away and begin to run.

"They must have realized the force field was down." Marrisa yelps.

We run faster and faster, my legs burn and a cramp instantly comes onto my side. This doesn't usually happen when I run and I'm baffled by the new feeling.

Marvel finally gets his chance to lead, having already been this way before.

Rue grabs on to my hand and I tow her with me and try to keep up.

A light flashes at the Cornucopia, the hovercraft staring at the place we'd once been. It's too far to see but I assume there dropping a team in to look for us.

But then what? Take us to the Capitol and wait until the Hunger Games can resume? Did the Hunger Games already resume and they just figured out were not trapped?

Between the forest with limited supplies and the Capital I know exactly which one I want. Despite the pain it brings I run faster.

"We're almost there!" Marvel gasps back to us.

The hovercraft stays at the Cornucopia, which I'm beginning to see is much farther then I'd originally thought.

Keep running. You have to. You're as good as dead if you fall behind.

My legs turned to jelly on all the hills. I wished terribly that this were a forest. We'd have better protection and my footing would be better.

But the open fields leave us exposed.

A few times I stumble, or Rue stumbles. But we never fall, I'm grateful. I don't think I could have picked myself up. I feel different than before. Weaker somehow.

"It's moving." Thresh points. I looked and sure enough it was getting closer. My eyes strain under how wide I brought them.

Not the Capital. I can't go back. I cant. I won't.

The hovercraft stops a few miles behind us at what I assume is our old campgrounds.

It's closer now and I see the white uniforms of Peacekeepers sliding down ropes to investigate the area. The weariness I felt before doubles, but so does my need to get out of here. I push every piece of me to run.

"There it is!" Marvel hisses to us. I assume what he's talking about is the biggest hill yet. I see the scorch marks lining it, where the force field must have been. If we can get over that we might just have a chance.

But already, with dawn slowly approaching, I see the black dots forming in my vision. My mind reeling.

We reach the base of the hill as the others begin to climb. Rue whimpers but I push her, making her begin the climb. I don't think I can. I can hardly stand any longer.

"Go." I yell.

"You're coming aren't you?" She asks.

"Of course, but you have to go first."

She nods and begins to go up. I try to stay right behind her but it's difficult. I blink and she already seems miles ahead. Maybe I could just catch my breath? For even a minute.

I fall to my knees, my stomach bulging and the retracting with each heavy breath. Why am I so tired? Had I not recovered fully from the hypothermia? This must have been a side effect.

I feel my eyes grow heavy, know I won't be awake much longer. But then a voice is cutting through all of that. "Trust me Fire Girl, after this we won't be even."

I'm bewildered but gasp when I feel an arm wrap around my waist and begin to drag me up the hill. My first thought is one of the Peacekeepers. But when my eyes shoot to the person beside me I see blond hair and a District Two red coat.

"Cato?" I choke out.

He nods, pulling me up more and more. I fell useless, my legs won't respond. Everything I tell my body to do is ignored. But all I can think is: He came back. He came back. He came back. Why does he keep coming back? I'm useless.

"Rue said you weren't moving." He pants. Rue caught up to him? Looking up I can see the hill is empty. How long was I laying there?

"They're getting closer." He curses while taking deep breaths.

Who's getting closer? I turn and in the distance I see two white figures in the field. Oh God. I make my feet move, it's painful and I hardly manage it but I force them to go. They feel like they've been stuffed with bricks. Each time I lift one it drains me of energy.

"Just go." I try to say, except it comes out more a cough that puts a strain on my rib cage.

"No."

"Yes. They won't be able to get you if you go now." It's the truth, I can't do much of anything right now. We pass over the scorch mark, I feel little freedom in it.

He glances back at the two Peacekeepers who finally made it to the hill's base. Then at me. Then to the field that leads to a thin forest where the others must have gone into.

"Go." I repeat. He shakes his head slowly, I see his eyebrow scrunched together as he makes some sort of plan in his head.

"Come on." He pulls me to the forest. I'm surprised when he pulls me down and then drags me into a shrub with him. My back is pressed against his chest, I'm seated on his lap with one of his arms pulling me close. I black out and wake up sometime later, a few minutes maybe at the sound of voices speaking dangerously close. Cato's hand is over my mouth, probably to keep me from making too much noise.

Dawn is breaking out and were screwed if they're still here when the sun emerges.

Cato's grasp around me tightens and I begin to make out the voices.

"-Don't see anything up here."

"Nothing?" Comes a static voice. Microphone I think vaguely.

"Nothing." The person confirms.

"Keep looking." Is the cut remark from the other end.

"I swore I saw somebody up here." One of them says.

"Yeah me too."

"Let's keep going then." And together they continue to run. I listen for any other sounds but can't pick anything up.

It's so quite suddenly. The world doesn't seem to be moving. I wonder if they put up another force field? I hope not.

I feel slack. Limp. Like I don't have control over anything my body does.

"They're gone." A voice mumbles. Cato. I almost... No. I feel myself going back under. But there's the steady beat of a heartbeat under my ear. Not mine. Cato's. Why am I so weak?

"Katniss?"

I try to open my mouth and say something. But to my horror I realize my eyes won't open nor will my mouth form words.

"Katniss?" It sounds a little more worried this time but at this point I'm slipping away.

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><p><strong>I once wrote a 12 chapter long story that got about 200 reviews, this is only chapter nine and I've already cleared that. So I'm celebrating right now and feeling so bad for taking longer with this one. Frikin writers block! A lot of you have been asking about Peeta and Clove... Not to spoil anything but yes, I do find the dynamics of their relationship fascinating.<strong>

**Sorry about spelling and grammar errors, the truth is I rely on technology to tell me when I'm wrong.**


	10. Nocturnal

I feel so comfortable that when I realize I'm waking up I do everything in my power to stop it. The sun must be up, I feel it's heat warming my body. Though my forehead is cool, like the washcloth my mom would put on me when I got a fever. I almost sigh, loving the feel of it.

But reluctantly I begin to squint my eyes. I immediately snap them shut when the light hits me. The trees cover it well enough but it still manages to burn. It's late in the afternoon, maybe six?

Groggily I move my head to the side and am met with dirt and twigs. I'm on the ground it would seem. The more I begin to wake I realize I'm laid out on top of a sleeping bag. I let out a soft moan, when I try to sit up I am assaulted by the worst headache of my life.

"Drink this."

My eyes flash to the speaker. Marrisa holds a water bottle out to me.

"What happened?" I ask, I take the cloth on my forehead and move it around my face, trying my best to cool down.

"Cato said you guys got hypothermia when you blew up the force field." She says, completely ignoring my question.

Cato actually told them about that? I hope he didn't mention what we did to warm up... Cato! He came back for me didn't he? My eyes shoot around and I see everybody sitting around a temporary camp, though there is no fire this time. They don't seem to notice I'm awake yet which works for me. Cato is hunched over and doesn't appear to be listening to Peeta talk.

I turn back to Marrisa, "Yes, but seriously what happened?"

She eyes me for a minute before finally answering. "We were all at the top of the hill running when Rue caught up to Cato and told him you weren't moving. He told us to keep going, Peeta wanted to go back but Cato shoved him away. We kept running, almost got caught by Peacekeepers but Clove and Marvel took care of them... they had guns you know? Kept shooting at us. They want us dead Katniss."

I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Why take tributes back to the Capital and wait to restart the games when you can just kill them now?

"Anyway, Cato caught up a few hours later. You were out cold. Fever and all. He mentioned hypothermia. You're body probably just isn't used to all this strain and needed more rest." She explains further.

"And his is?" Cato's been through the same with me, maybe even more after all that tree cutting back in the forest. So why am I taking everything so rough and he's carrying me off to safety?

"Well he's been trained for this." She says in a matter of fact tone reserved only for her.

But it leaves me wondering just what they do for training in District Two.

"Katniss!" I see the heads at the camp turn quickly to me as little Rue runs over and throws her arms around my neck. Marrisa laughs, stretching as she stands. "I was so worried! You-You just wouldn't get up and I could hear them getting closer!" Rue babbles.

"It's okay Rue, you did good."

Peeta's next, his apology tumbling from his mouth. I shake my head telling him it's all okay. It really is too. I stand up and almost immediately regret it, I feel so lightheaded that my hand shoots out to the tree I was under for support.

"We're traveling at night from now on." Somebody informs me. Makes sense I guess, we'd be able to see any District lights better. The water bottle Marrisa gave me feels heavy but I lift it back to my lips, sighing as the water cools me down.

I stagger to the others who all greet me in their own ways. But my eyes lock onto Cato's and I feel like I should thank him... But not with everybody watching us right now.

Instead they get back to the conversation they'd had while I was out. Mostly it consist of theories on why the Peacekeepers wanted us dead so badly. Clove sharpens her knives the whole time before throwing in, "does it really matter why? We killed them and that's all the reason they need now."

Azora wanders back to camp and gives me a quick smile. On her back are at least ten fish which we all look at with hunger.

They are cooked and the scent alone makes my stomach growl. We have enough that everybody can have their own and a few leftover for whoever needs it.

I feel disgusting. Sweat dried on my skin, my breath reeks of fish. The high weather isn't helping. "I'm going to go wash up." I mumble.

Clove glances up from her spot, "I'll join you Fire Girl."

I gawk in surprise, as do the others. But nobody says anything and I'm too baffled to come up with a retort or an excuse for her to stay behind. I move in the direction Azora came from, because there's got to be a body of water in that direction.

Clove is beside me, her steps light, brisk and fast.

I wonder if she wants to kill me?

The conversation with Cato comes back to me, the one where he mentioned Clove volunteered despite her parents wishes, that they didn't even want her to train. If she didn't look so serious all the time I might ask her about it.

We find a small stream where I squat down and begin to wipe my hands clean, watching as the dirt leaves in the steady flow of water. After this I begin to wash my face up as well as my neck.

I know Clove has something to say to me, she wouldn't have come out here any other way. So when she does say something I'm left gaping and wondering what's really going on.

"Did Peeta really not have a girlfriend in Twelve?" They must have talked about his relationships back home at some point.

I stutter and gasp, my eyes wide. "I don't think so? W-why?"

She ignores me completely, also washing herself up. "And that whole star crossed lover thing was bull wasn't it?"

"Well obviously. But why are you asking me all of this?"

And then I see the faintest red tinges on her cheeks, I wonder if it's sun burn because there's no way it could be a blush. She quickly washes her face up before standing and glaring at me. "Well are you going to sit there all day?"

Baffled and not entirely sure what to do with myself I shake my head and follow her back to the others. By now the sun is setting and were getting ready to move out.

Cato takes the lead again and I'm tempted to run up and ask all the questions that have formed in my mind. Like why come back? Why save me? Why carry me to safety? But Marvel is on his heels as usual just waiting for his opportunity. There's no way I'll have a private conversation with Cato unless he lets Marvel take the lead for a while. And there's no way that will happen now.

I take my place at the back, though now Marrisa is with Rue and I to make sure I don't pass out or something.

We walk forever, slowly too. I wonder if Cato does it for me or is simply being cautions. Not much talk to be had. There are an infinite amount of trees and a rocky terrain. In school they said the Capital was in a place once called the Rocky Mountains, are we close enough to the Capital that we are still in the Rocky Mountains? If so the place lives up to its namesake.

I'm thankful for being asleep most of the day, the others seem more and more tired as we go but I feel fine. We walk and walk and walk, my braid begins to slap my back as my steps become heavier.

When the first light of dawn begins to appear Cato stops and motions us to make camp in between the trees. I watch him quietly before laying my sleeping bag out and crawling into it.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised when I'm not woken for watch duty, I might be a little off in the health department but I slept the most of all of them.

But I'm more than a little off when I wake up the next night, having slept through the entire day without so much as blinking. I would never do that back home, not in a million years. But I guess I'm far from home now.

We begin to walk, most of us still waking up.

Hours go by, I'm not even sure. Unlike the night before I'm much more aware of my steps. They are much more controlled and quite, but as we go up yet another hill I feel the same thing I felt running from the Peacekeepers. Absolute exhaustion. Why can't I just heal already?

I bet there's a pill for it out there, just take it and you'll be back to normal in a second. If so then I want it right this second.

I don't hear it at first, I almost run into the rest of the group who all seem to have stopped at the top of the peak. But then I see it.

Vaguely to my left I hear Glimmer gasp. "District One."

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><p><strong>I love all of you guys so much right now, I just beat my record review count.<strong>

**This happens to me ALL the time, I get 10-14 chapters into a story and begin to lose my inspiration, but like I said, more reviews than ever. Basically all of them positive which keeps me going.**

**I know not a lot of Catniss romance (or even interaction) in this chapter. Just you wait. I got most of the next chapter already planned out... I think you'll like it.**


	11. The Rebellion

**In Mockngjay all Districts rebel against the Capital except for District Two. Just a quickie reminder. Also I think the arena they were in wouldn't be too far from the Capital, a convince thing as well as the hovercraft ride was fairly quick in the book and movie. That and I imagine District One would be closest to the Capital, therefore the closest to the group.**

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><p>I can honestly say District One is much bigger and brighter then District Twelve. The mountains surround it but miles and miles away I see a strange glow. It has to be the Capitol. I feel sick to my stomach at the sight.<p>

For a minute none of us say a thing, we just watch it quietly. Rue's hand slips into mine and I give it a small squeeze. Marvel and Glimmer break out in furious whispers and are quickly joined by the others.

I already know the answer though, we're going to have to go down there. It's the only way. I've seen few maps of Panem but enough to know that there won't be another District for a while.

I feel petrified at the thought of leaving this mountain.

Cato breaks up Marvel and Glimmer's bickering. Even though his voice is low it still holds the tone that makes you jump around and do exactly as he says.

"Marvel or Glimmer go down there and find out what's going on. Do it discretely and don't let them see your face."

"And how do we do that?" Glimmer asks. Cato gives her a blank look before shifting his eyes to Marvel. "You go."

Marvel looks down to the place he was raised then back to Cato. He repeats this process a few times before sighing. He pushes his backpack into Glimmer's arms before securing his knife and spear and begins trudging down the mountain side. We all watch him make his way down until he blends into the darkness. I watch the fence around the District and wonder if it is electrified like mine isn't. I stare intently at it but it never moves.

Glimmer holds onto her District partner's bag, holding it close and refusing to put it down as she stares at the lights.

I don't think I could be her right now. If we'd come out into District Twelve I would have shoved Peeta down and slipped in. Probably gone to the Hob. Just about everything going on there is illegal, what right would they have to judge me? Then again I'm sure they could get something in return for reporting me.

"He's in." Clove mumbles, she points and I can see the tall lanky figure of Marvel in the streetlight.

There's no way I can sleep now.

There's not a single person in the streets. A few lights are on but otherwise it looks like a ghost town.

Glimmer whimpers as she stares down at her home. We leave her to her own devices as everybody begins to sit and rest. I just hope she doesn't try to do something stupid.

It's quite now, I see Marissa's head falling onto Thresh's shoulder, he doesn't move to get her off. Clove falls asleep eventually, a knife clutched dangerously tight in her hand. Peeta's head also begins to bob, he seems to give up and lean against a tree. Azora is already curled up on the ground with her backpack under her head.

Rue shoots me a tired smile but moves to stand by Glimmer. The blonde girl gives Rue a small sob as she sinks to the floor where Rue pets her hair.

I watch all of this happen over a period of about a half an hour before my eyes land on Cato who watches District One intently.

He must feel my eyes on him because he turns to me with a questioning look.

I tilt my head to the side into the forest, he glances that way before nodding.

I've thought a lot about what I would say to him. If a simple thank you would suffice or if I should give a nice long speech. Neither seems to work for me and now it would appear I'll be winging it.

We wander just outside the camp, trees blocking us from the lights. It's so dark that I almost can't see him.

"What did you want Katniss?" He used my actual name this time, I like the way he says it opposed to 'Fire Girl.'

I shrug, "Why did you come back for me?"

"Rue was scared." He challenges back.

I step closer, not liking his tone. "Tell me why."

It's too dark to see all the detail, but I just know he must be glaring at me now. He steps closer and I can feel his warm breath on my face. "Does it matter why?"

A laugh escapes my mouth before I can stop it. "Yes it matters! You could have left me."

"You'd be dead." He points out calmly.

"And how would that effect you so much that you would come back?"

He makes a noise, between a laugh and a grunt, "I came back, can we leave it at that?"

I sigh, "Yeah I guess." After a moment of silence I throw in, "Thank you." Of course I'm not letting this go, I'll just figure it out later when he least expects it.

He shakes his head, "I guess that means you owe me now." I can't help but smile.

"I can deal with that."

We regard each other in the silence for a minute before I see his teeth in what I assume is a smile. "For a slum rat you aren't so bad."

I twist my face, there's a joking tone laced in that so I don't feel to offended. "For being an over trained goon from Two you aren't so bad yourself."

"Seriously? Goon?"

I only smile. This conversation feels weird, like we were actually friends making fun of each other but at the same time being fine with it. Because were friends. Cato is a strange person who makes me feel strange things, but in the small list of friends I have he's slowly worming his way in. If he hasn't already.

He makes his way back to the camp and takes his place back on his rock. I watch him only for a second before joining him. He's warm next to me, I wasn't particularly cold before this, not enough to notice anyway.

Involuntarily I must lean into him because soon I don't feel the least bit cold. I pull my legs close to my chest and rest my forehead on my knees. My hands are deep in my coat and I let myself drift off if only for a few minutes.

I'm home. Gale's there with his family. My mom is serving a nice warm meal to all of us. I'm surprised to see my dad sitting there as well. I haven't seen him in so long that it actually hurts. But the others don't act surprised that he's here so I don't either. I just smile softly at him. "I miss you." I say. I refuse to cry. He smiles sadly at me. "You'll be alright."

"Katniss."

It's so nice here.

"Katniss wake up."

I moan and reluctantly open my eyes.

A handshakes my shoulder, my head instantly shoots up. "Huh? What?" Cato's not looking at me though, he points up and I see the others moving back to where Glimmer and Rue sit.

Marrisa eyes me and Cato before moving to the others. I don't miss the look in her eyes. It borders on 'just what the hell is going on' and 'I knew it.' I sigh, jumping down and moving to the others. I'll ask her about it later.

My hand shoots to my arrows, ready to pull one out at a seconds notice. I still have nine left, all of which I'm tempted to shoot right now.

I look down the hill side, Marvel is obviously one of the figures. But one other trails behind him. I gulp, moving close to Rue. My hand comes to rest by hers and I know the second there is any hostility I'll grab her wrist and push her as far back as possible.

It takes them a while to get up to us, when they do were all a bit tense. The man beside Marvel is just a few inches shorter than he is. A dark mop of hair on his head, styled back and held down by gel. His eyes are a brilliant blue, I'm not all that convinced that they are natural.

There both breathless from the hike but Marvel manages to introduce him. "Everyone this is Topaz. He's a District One representative in the Rebellion."

So that's it huh? We were right, there really is a rebellion. Something tells me that wherever Gale is he's a part of it.

The new knowledge has me left in a strange place, could this be it? Could we end the Hunger Games? We could take down the Capital. Stop the endless murdering of children. Something swells up in my chest that leaves me feeling light.

He nods to all of us. "You really are the tributes from the Hunger Games aren't you?"

"What's going on?" Peeta asks him.

Topaz sighs, shaking his head and wiping the sweat off of his brow. "Sit down everybody, we're about to have a long talk."

We move back to where the majority of us had slept, Cato leans against the rock we'd sat on and I take the spot next to him. Rue to my other side. Glimmer stays particularly close to Marvel and questions him on the people he saw.

Once we're all settled in Topaz starts.

"You have no idea the effect this whole star crossed lovers thing had." I glance at Peeta and he shoots me a smile.

"People were going crazy about it. Some actually wanted to pull you two from the Games, keep you in the Capital as some sort of pet. Of course that wasn't going to happen. With the Games in full swing District Thirteen brought their plans out."

"District Thirteen doesn't exist." Azora snorted quietly from her place on the ground. A few murmurs of agreement surfaced, this included me.

"According to the Capitol it was destroyed." Marvel winces at Topaz's words and I can't imagine why, "but the people actually made a deal with the Capitol. In order to avoid a nuclear war they moved beneath the surface and let it look like they were all killed. It's a full booming civilization that's been waiting for the opportune moment to strike a rebellion. Next year is the Quarter Quell did you know that? They planned an attack then but decided to launch this year. The views were through the roof because of this star crossed lovers stuff. There has always been a small pocket of Rebels in every District, myself included. All the Districts are now rioting against the Capital. Except for District Two of course."

I take a moment to absorb all of this, of course District Two would be the only ones faithful to the Capital. I want to ask Cato about it but Topaz continues. "They dropped several bombs on the Capital, a lot of them aimed at anything Hunger Games related." I instantly choke up, thinking of Effie, Cinna, Haymitch and even my prep team. I hope with all my might that they were safe somewhere else.

"It worked, the Hunger Games were cut off. To be honest everybody thinks you went and killed each other. I believed it myself until Marvel said you were all up here."

"So what now?" Cato asks.

"Now? Now I guess I'll make a secret call to President Coin- she's the Rebellion's leader and District Thirteen's President. She'll be... Delighted to know you guys are alive. Turn you into icons or something."

I don't believe anything coming out of his mouth. He could just as easily run and tell Snow. But really what choice do I have? Live in the mountains the rest of my life? As tempting as that sounds I do have a family I want to see again. Topaz moves to pull out a small phone from his pocket but Marvel stops him.

"Wait." He says quietly. "You have to tell them."

I watch Topaz who won't look up from the ground. What could he tell us now?

I know whatever it is I won't like it. And I don't. Because what he says next leaves me frozen to the ground.

"When this first started... To make an example of Districts rebelling they destroyed their weakest link. They flattened Twelve."

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><p><strong>Sorry for technical difficulties there, mixed chapters up *facepalm*<strong>


	12. The Rescue

**Chapter 12: The Rescue**

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><p>I know Topaz is on the phone, but I'm not listening to a word he's saying.<p>

My face is drained of color, I see my hands shaking yet all of this pales to any significance.

District Twelve is gone. Everybody I love is more than likely dead.

Maybe I should have just let Prim go into the Games? She would be here and I would be the one dead. No…there's no way she would've made it the three days. She isn't Rue, my Prim would have been slaughtered at the bloodbath.

But does it really matter now? She's probably just bones now, crushed under our home.

I feel all eyes on me, filled with pity; a sort of 'oh, you poor thing' look.

I think I'm going to be sick.

I don't even care if Topaz is on our side now. I go back to the Capitol and what? They put a bullet through my brain? Big deal, who cares? Everybody I love died slow and terrible deaths.

My eyes fly to Peeta who seems to have reached the same conclusion except he really is getting sick, vomiting at the trunk of a tree. I try not to do the same, squeezing my hands until they bleed.

Face after face appear before me….Haymitch, Effie, Cinna, Mom, Prim, Gale, Hazelle, Vic, Rory, Posy. Are they all skeletons now?

I need to stop thinking this second if I want a hope in hell of surviving.

I grab my water bottle and take a few sips but my hands are shaking so badly I can barely get the cap back on.

Topaz watches Peeta and I carefully before shaking his head, "I'm sorry you had to find out this way... A few survived and are now in District Thirteen... I have to go now."

He descends back down the hill but I can't watch. All I can do is think about home. Maybe a few survived? Would any of my loved ones be in the batch? God I hope so.

I feel strong arms wrap around me and pull me to the ground. My eyes shoot over and there's Cato, watching me intently. "She's in shock."

Marissa is at my side in a moment, watching keenly before telling me to put my head between my knees. I do as she says, mostly because it's the only solid thing going on right now.

I feel a small hand petting my back, I think it must be Rue. It reminds me so much of Prim that I feel bile rising once more.

The sun begins to rise and I might think the shades of pink and orange are beautiful, but right now I can't lift my eyes from the ground. Finally healing from the hypothermia side effects and this happens? Will I ever be on my full guard out here in the wilderness? Apparently not… and it won't matter for long.

A violent wind picks up and it only takes me a second to realize it isn't the wind but that of a hovercraft as it descends on us. It hovers for a minute and I wonder if this is it…If I'll be like the boy who was running away with the Avox girl. Oh, oops, she's probably dead now too…

Ladders drop instead of spears though, Rue watches me and I try to get up. For her, I only want to move from this awful place for her. All I want to do is reassure her that I'm fine. But I can't get on my own two legs.

Cato helps me up and I think, "Will I ever be able to repay him for everything he's done?"

I do my best to help as he walks me to the first ladder everybody else seems to be going up. I only need to grip it a bit before I'm being lifted. The wind's loud as I'm being carried and I close my eyes for a minute, only open them when the wind stops and only the steady beep of buttons fills my ears.

The first person I see is Azora, who watches me from across the room.

It feels so strange to be inside after weeks of wilderness. Funny that that's the only thing0 I can think of here.

The uniforms I see in the room aren't Peacekeeper white. They all appear to be grey. I push myself to the closest wall and pull my legs close.

_Snap out of it Katniss! You need to be on full alert right now!_

I know this is true, that the last few days I've been a burden. I have to wake up now, smack myself around and be old Katniss again.

I take one deep breath before pushing myself to my feet.

I watch as Rue comes up, who immediately takes my side and then Cato, who looks around suspiciously. This is probably the smartest choice.

"They're all here." Somebody calls from the cabin.

The ladders are pulled away and the hovercraft lifts. I look out the windows, half expecting it to go to the Capitol. I let out a breath when we go the complete opposite way.

So maybe Topaz really was on our side?

"Can everybody come have a seat?" A stern voice calls. I pull away from the window and glance in the direction. There's a circular table where a number of people are sitting, there are enough empty seats for the ten of us to sit.

I follow the others to the table, I have to grip the rail fairly tightly when it comes to the stairs. Either way, I sink into a plush chair.

_You need to snap out of it Katniss._ I repeat this over and over.

"Welcome Hunger Games survivors. I'm Boggs. President Coin's second in command... I must say I was surprised to learn you were all alive. But congratulations on your survival."

None of us say a thing to him. He doesn't seem surprised.

He regards each of us and I hate the way his eyes linger on Peeta and I the longest.

"Medical checks first then."

I don't object when I'm lead down a narrow hallway by a woman in a heavy apron, Rue refusing to let go of my hand. I think the medic thinks about separating us before giving up and leading us both into a sterile white room. The others are led in a similar process. My eyes land on Cato who only gives me a small nod before going into his own room.

The medic asks us a series of questions, first me and then to Rue.

"How are you feeling?"

"Do you have any major cuts, infections, something you'd like looked at?"

Reluctantly I tell her about the hypothermia which launches into another chain of questions.

Did I warm up immediately after? I say yes.

Rue no doubt catching my blush as she must've figured it all out.

Finally the woman gives me a few pills and tells me take one every day until I run out and that's that.

Next she pulls out a giant radar looking thing that has me jumping back, "Your tracking chips." She explains, motioning to my arm. I wince for even forgetting about that.

If the Hunger Games headquarters hadn't been hit I'm sure those would have been the death of us. Either way she slides a needle into my arm and I try to look like it isn't painful, knowing full well that it is, she digs around for a second before she must find the chip, gives an 'ah' and pushes a button. Then there's a burning sensation before she pulls the needle out.

She replaces the needle, assuring me she got the chip out, and I hold Rue's opposite hand as the process is repeated.

We seem to be done as she leads us down another hall, "Girls on the left, boys on the right." She points to two doors on either side of the hallway.

"How long until we get to District Thirteen?" I ask. I'm anxious to find District Twelve survivors.

"A few hours, it's the other side of the country you know! Try to rest up for now."

She opens a shelf on the wall that I would have never seen on my own. She looks a moment before handing Rue and I a set of grey clothes.

"Showers are in your room." With that she turns and walks off.

I give Rue a reassuring smile as we go to the left. The door opens to Azora and Glimmer already asleep on a bunk bed.

I set my stuff on the next bunk before going to the bathrooms. Within the room there are several stalls leading to showers. Half asleep, I grab the closest one. There's one stall where you must leave your clothes and then another that leads to the actual shower. I strip down and drop my new grey clothes where I hope they won't get wet.

My shower is quick, halfway through another one starts which leads me to assume either Marrisa or Clove has arrived. I dry off quickly and when I'm done I throw on the new clothes, which I note are stiff and plain, and then head back to the bedroom. I grab a top bunk and crawl under the covers. I fall asleep in under a minute.

* * *

><p>I must wake up mid noon. The windows are covered well but light still seeps out from them. Rue is cuddled up to my side, still fast asleep. I slip out of bed after making sure she's still well covered.<p>

Despite it all I feel much better. My home is gone and the people I love might be dead... but I'm alive and fairly healthy. It's wrong to think this way, I know, but I can't help it. I peek out the window and think I am fairly right in my assumption of noon.

I pop my knuckles before making my way out the door as quietly as I can, like I was home and sneaking out to go hunting with Gale.

Won't cry… Won't cry…Won't cry…

I go the opposite way I came, avoiding the medical center. I spare a glance to the door across the hall were the boys are supposed to be.

I come out into a sort of kitchen. An older man sits there in an apron and spares me a smile.

"In District Thirteen we all eat at the same time. Since this is a military hovercraft you can eat whenever you'd like, just have to stay in the cafeteria."

I nod, now beginning to realize just how hungry I am.

He loads up a tray for me, there's a strange soup that almost appears to have a heartbeat. I don't comment on it, merely smile and take it in the direction he points. No sense in arguing over a meal I haven't had to kill myself.

I thought I would have a depressing lunch alone as there are only a few officers sitting about, some spare me a glance as I walk by. I spot Cato and immediately decide to sit with him. But then I notice the people with him. Peeta, of course, Clove who I didn't notice missing from the room and next to her is a brutish man.

Then, to my shock but absolute delight, there's Haymitch and a woman with strawberry blonde hair. It takes me a minute to realize this is Effie! Next to her, though void of golden eyeliner, is Cinna!

My heart swells up and I wonder if this is my mind playing tricks on me. It doesn't matter, I shoot over with a dim-witted grin on my face.

Effie squeals when she sees me, though she quickly makes a face at her own behavior before standing up and pulling me into a hug. Cinna follows the action.

"I was so worried!" I whisper into his ear.

He laughs, patting my back. "You were worried about me? I had no idea what to expect. Haymitch just pulls me over one night and says not to come back to the Training Center."

I freeze, pulling away and staring at Haymitch.

"You knew this entire time?"

"Oh don't get on my case sweetheart." I almost wince at his tone, it's rough and dangerous and I feel like he's going to lunge across the table and grab my throat.

"District Thirteen doesn't allow alcohol." Cinna mumbles into my ear.

That explains it.

I take a seat in between Cinna and Peeta. It takes me a minute to realize the brutish man beside Clove is exactly what it sounds like. Brutus, District Two's mentor.

The table begins to chatter again, by far the loudest in the cafeteria. I can't stop smiling at Cinna and Effie, though Haymitch continues to send glares my way but I ignore them easily.

A sober Haymitch is a cranky Haymitch.

"I like your hair Effie." Peeta says.

She gasps, "Oh no Peeta, I look hideous. I just hate that you all have to see me this way!."

This is followed by a collective laugh around the table. This time the tears I feel trying to spill over are happy. At least some of the people I care about are alive and well.

* * *

><p>After lunch we begin to go our separate ways. Clove and Brutus head to what I assume is some sort of training. Effie is following Haymitch and crying about what a mess he made. Peeta and Cinna decide to stay there for a while, Cato leaves and I'm only surprised he didn't go with Brutus and Clove.<p>

I wave goodbye to the others and make my way back to the rooms. I'm tempted to wake Rue and give her my good news but decide against it. She's probably exhausted.

I wander down the halls, which have so many twists and turns in them that I soon realize I'm lost.

I try to retrace my steps but it doesn't work out like I'd hoped it would.

Just as I'm turning the next corner I find myself bumping into a wall. No not a wall, a person. Oh and just my luck, it's Cato.

I give him half a smile, "Wandering too?"

His hands are on my shoulders as not to let me fall. He smiles, "Trying to get back."

"Me too." I admit.

"Anything your way?" He asks.

I shake my head, "Halls and halls of nothing."

"Me too."

Without saying a word we go down the only other hall which doesn't seem to have a single door in it. Doesn't mean much, I remember the medic pushing a wall and there suddenly being a closet. We walk in relative silence until we come out onto what must be a side of the hovercraft.

"Ladies and gentleman, to our right is former District Twelve. We'll arrive at Thirteen in approximately forty five minutes."

I hate whoever is behind that announcement. It only really effects Peeta and I. I almost forgot about Haymitch, but him as well I suppose. I need to find him later and talk about this mess, preferably after he's okay with being sober or when he's had a few drinks.

I'm surprised when I feel a hand grab mine. My eyes shoot down to it and then I look up at Cato. I'm about to ask him what he's doing but silently he leads me to one of the windows. The light is blaring in, nobody's sleep disturbed here.

I try to pull away when I realize what he wants me to see. But I just can't.

"Come on." He says quietly. He gives our joint hands a tug and I'm pulled forward. Doesn't mean I have to see. I squeeze my eyes shut.

"Katniss... I'm sorry. But just look and maybe it'll help."

I hate what he's saying, mostly because there's truth behind it. Seeing it will make it real and I'll be able to accept it. Try and pick up the pieces. But it's so much easier to pretend it's not real if I don't have to look.

Slowly I crack my eyes open and I almost don't recognize it. There are ugly scorch marks surrounding all along the streets, where the streets were anyway. And 'flattened' was an appropriate word. The only houses that stand are the at the Victor's Village. Probably so that when Capitol reporters come down they're nice and comfortable. Bastards.

I try to find my house in the rubble but by now we're leaving the destruction and on our way to Thirteen.

"Prim." I sigh.

"There are survivors." He reminds me.

I nod, doing my best not to break down in sobs. He wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me close to him. I rest my head against his chest and don't bother holding back the tears, not this time anyway.

* * *

><p><strong>Ahh! Just want to thank MsCassity for editing this chapter!<strong>


	13. A Homecoming Of Sorts

**Chapter 13: A Homecoming Of Sorts**

* * *

><p>Cato still held onto me when the inevitable bumps of the flight came, no doubt from the landing.<p>

"You ready?" He asks.

"Not in a million years."

"Well, you've got about a minute to get ready."

Air hisses as the hovercraft doors open. I feel sick to my stomach at who I may or may not find outside of those doors. Turning back around, I think aloud, "I need to get my bow." There's no way I'm going into this District without a weapon I'm comfortable with.

"Good idea." He mumbles. Officers filing off of the hovercraft point us in the direction of our rooms. I push the girls' door open just in time to find Rue about to leave. She smiles, handing me my bow that is almost as tall as her. I almost laugh at the thought of her wobbling around, trying to hold the thing upright. A light scoff leaves Cato's lips and I think I like the sound of his laughter.

The three of us make our way to the exit where a line of people has started. "Hold my hand Rue, let's try not to get separated." She nods. She's so small I doubt I'd be able to find her if I lost her in the hoard of people coming and going.

Cato, Rue and I are basically the last ones in line. A couple of times I think I see a flash of red hair or the tall figure that can only be Thresh. Once, I swear I hear Effie give a horrified gasp which leads me to assume her and Haymitch are together.

Other than this I can't spot another familiar face. We get closer and closer to the front and the first thing I notice is the air. We're inside? I rack my brain, trying to remember everything the Rebellion Informant from One had said... Topaz's words remind me that District Thirteen is entirely underground.

"Cato! Fire Girl!" I glance to my right, noticing that Clove is standing near us. Behind her are all the others. We weave our way through the crowd until we reach them. It's then that I notice another woman standing with them. Her head is shaved and covered in green vine tattoos. My first thought? Capitol.

But the smile she gives me is surprisingly warm, if not laced with determination. "My name is Cressida. I was wondering if I could get some film of you ten getting off the hovercraft?"

"Why?" Cato asks, he sounds bored now. I don't blame him.

"Didn't you hear? Oh that's right... silly me. You guys are like, rebellion icons now!"

I'm surprised to hear this but not entirely displeased. But the way Cato, Clove, Marvel and Glimmer stiffen up tells me they're uncomfortable with it. Cressida doesn't seem to notice though.

"Just get off the hovercraft, I have a crew set up on the ground ready to film you guys... We're coordinating it into a Propo. A way of sticking it to the Capitol!"

"How would us getting off a hovercraft 'stick it' to the Capitol?" Marrisa leans forward, as though genuinely interested. Maybe I am to..

"You guys really have been in the wilderness for a month, huh?" It feels like a year, "We were all so surprised when we heard you didn't kill each other. I think everybody believed it turned into a bloodbath out there. By working together you showed the Capitol up. You're rebellion icons."

I want to question her, find out exactly what's going on out there. But she's soon shooing us off in the direction of the exit which, by now, is empty.

"Cameras start rolling when you get out there." She reminds. I feel sick. Cameras have been on me before, almost constantly since I volunteered. This should be nothing, right?

Peeta gives me a reassuring smile. I'm not blind to the fear in his own eyes. This is the moment of truth. Did our loved ones make it out?

"And….. go!" Cressida hisses. We go to the exit, and then I really feel the stage fright. There's got to be thousands of them. A long sea of grey that suddenly cheers when we step into the light.

Just like the chariot rides into the Training Center or our interviews with Caesar.

I almost wish Cinna had draped me in some creation of his. Maybe not though, then I would stand out far too much.

I see a few cameras in the distance and I do my best to ignore them and focus on not slipping on the ramp. Rue squeezes my hand which I squeeze back. The crowd makes a clear path for us that leads right into a long and wide hallway.

People cheer from either side as a tall man with incredible posture takes to leading us down various corridors. I hope were actually going somewhere and that this isn't some stupid parade.

"Katniss! Katniss!"

I whip my head around, trying to locate the voice. My eyes dart back and forth, its only when I see what must be District Thirteen's equivalent to a Peacekeeper trying to hold a boy back. A small child I've practically watched grow up.

"Rory?"

A smile breaks out over his face, "See! I told you I knew her!" The man lets him go and he comes crashing towards me.

I feel lightheaded. Rory's alive. Rory's alive! He made it! Did the others?

He comes crashing over to me, a perfect smile stretching ear to ear.

I'm completely baffled with no idea what to say. I drop to eye level with him.

"Pri-Prim? My mom? Gale?"

He smiles and laughs, "There here somewhere... I sort of ditched them to try to meet you."

The man with good posture is trying to get us to move again, the others watching me curiously.

We begin to walk slowly but I bend down quickly and ask, "Peeta's family?"

He gives a fake shudder, "His mom is here, pissed that she isn't top dog anymore. One of his brothers hurt himself pretty bad but I heard he's going to be okay."

I try to catch Peeta's eye and when he finally notices I give him a small smile. The relief in his eyes helps me breathe easier.

"Oh, Rue…. this is Rory. Rory, this is Rue." They exchange shy smiles and give each other a quick 'Hi'.

Finally we reach the end of the procession, going into a room that appears to be an office. It's been cleared out for the day but we are met with one stern older woman whose small eyes linger on each of us for a minute.

"Time to assign rooms." Is all she says, unfolding her hands and clicking away on a computer.

"Get a roommate." She waves us off.

I already know I want to find my mom and Prim. But Rue beside me looks uncertainly at the others. I offer a smile, "You'll stay with me."

Her eyes dart to me, "Really?"

I nod as she bites her lips, "I don't want to be a burden."

"You won't be."

A smile breaks onto her face, "Thank you."

There's no way I'm leaving her alone in this place, just like I wouldn't want to be left alone. The woman behind the desks glances up at me.

"Everdeen?"

"Yes."

Her eyes drift down to Rue beside me. "And you want to take her with you- to stay with your mother as well?"

"Of course."

She grumbles and begins to type away. "We'll have to move an extra bed into the room."

I really don't care about any of this, I'm becoming anxious to see my family.

She goes in the back and returns with two keys, handing one to me and one to Rue. I'm balancing on my toes, ready to shoot out in a second.

"Wait." A voice says before I can leave. I huff and watch the others get assigned rooms. Peeta's going with his family of course. Marrisa and Azora are going off together. Clove and Glimmer are assigned a room (Clove looks ready to kill something) and Cato, Thresh and Marvel get a room together which just spells 'disaster' to me.

The man with good posture I now realize is Boggs, the same man from when we first got onto the hovercraft. "Come back here tomorrow, exactly nine o'clock for a meeting. Take tonight to rest and heal up."

He steps away from the door as we head out.

"What did everybody get?" Azora asks.

I push out mine for her to read. The number on my key is 2109. She shows me hers as 384. Peeta has 1487. Glimmer and Clove share 779 and all the boys in 1187.

"Yeah Katniss, we're right next door to each other!" Rory calls, he's been waiting for me to come back out it would seem.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow." I call back as we begin to separate. I follow Rory through the twists and turns of the hallway. There's no way I could have gotten through all of this on my own, I wonder how the others are managing in finding their rooms?

I watch the numbers slowly grow just waiting to get to the two thousands.

2106… 2107…2108…2109.. Does this ever end?

We arrive just as two men leave, dropping off what I assume is the extra bed.

My heart is pounding so hard that I feel lightheaded. This isn't home, but it's close enough.

The door is slightly open and Rory shoots me a goofball smile before pushing it open.

Everybody in the room stops what they're doing, looking at me standing in the doorway.

Prim erupts into all smiles. My beautiful little sister…. Alive.

My mom begins to cry, a smile gleaning onto her face.

Hazelle joins her, sighing and telling everybody 'she knew it.' Whatever that means?

Posy jumps from her seat.

Vic tries to ask Rory something.

And Gale watches me with a look I've never seen before. Almost longing sedated by fear….

In seconds they're all around me. All reaching out and pulling me in, hugs and tears are exchanged. I pull Rue up with me, not wanting to leave her behind but also wanting to have my loved ones with me.

"Hey Catnip." Gale whispers into my hair.

"Hey Gale." I reply.

Prim smiles at Rue before pulling her into a hug, "I saw you in the Hunger Games. You were incredible!"

Relief filled with love washes over me…. Maybe things really will work out.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry this took longer than usual (School's kicking my butt) But now that their all relatively safe I can finally get going on some... stuff.<strong>

**Just saw in interview with Jennifer Lawrence , Alexander Ludwig , Amandla Stenberg, it was so cool to see all my favorites together.**

**I should probably mention that them getting off the hovercraft was inspired by LOST, when the Oceanic 6 land home...**

**Anyway thanks guys, I'll try to be faster next time.**

**Also big thanks for MsCassity who edited this.**


	14. New Beginnings

The room spun in a blur as my mother moved everybody around so that Rue and I could sit. This didn't feel real, none of it did. I do my best to suppress the tears but they flow down my cheeks anyway. That's okay, neither my Mother nor Hazelle can hold back their feelings and smile through their tears.

They gathered around while the little kids went on a rampage of questions.

What was it like?

Were you scared?

How did you get out?

Is that stuff true? About you and Peeta?

Whenever Peeta's name was mentioned it was met by a wince on Gale's part. I refused to think why. Gale only watched me, his eyes weary as he studied me and only leaving my face to notice Rue smiling at me as I attempted my version of the story.

"Posy! Rory! Vic! Let the girls catch their breath!" Hazelle cried, finally ending the madness. I notice something on their arms, all about the same place.

Gale catches my stare, "Schedules." He bites out.

"Schedules?"

He's angry and I can't, for the life of me, imagine why? Shouldn't he be happy about my returning? Either way, a palpable silence fills the empty space in the room and is only cleared by my Mother who suggests, "Dinner soon… Why don't we try to get a good place in line?"

"Line?" Rue questions.

"District Thirteen has breakfast lunch and dinner together." Posy explains excitedly.

This whole place is making me uncomfortable. I'm not used to being told what to do… Being watched at every the games anyway. Pensively I agree to dinner, trying to put on a brave face for Rue, but deep down I know I will need to corner Gale and get the truth.

We walk as a group to the cafeteria, which Vic describes as 'massive.' I feel every eye in the halls land on me and furious whispers break out. I can usually hear words like, fire, Hunger Games, Rebel. This makes me more on edge as we clear hall after hall.

We aren't too far from the cafeteria, the wafting smell of food waves over me. Maybe I have a chance at a normal dinner with my loved ones, a meal where I didn't have to fight to the death for or illegally hunt down.

"Ah Sweetheart, there you are!" Stopping in mid stride, hitching my breath in, I think 'Or Not"

Maybe in some sick twisted way Haymitch has become a sort of father figure to me. But right now I don't want to deal with him. I feel the others turn to stare at me as he throws an arm around me. "Just the person I was looking for. I'd love to hear how you busted the force field in the arena." The overwhelming stench of liquor flows from him, he seems to have found a way around the ban.

"As we all would! But first, I think, I'd like to have a proper dinner." Effie calls from the back. She seems attached to Haymitch right now. I need to ask her why she left the Capital, otherwise her normal appearance will keep throwing me off.

"Care to join us?" My mother asks, I can't tell if the request is genuine or if she is only being polite, but I see them all trying to place Effie. They've all seen her on the stage before, but back then she was Effie Trinket, the one who took your kids away from you.

"I'm sure they have somewhere else to be." Gale says with just enough threat that only I catch it.

My eyes fly to him, trying to figure out what's going on. "Oh I'm afraid not!" Effie gasps, "All the other Victors are in a meeting right now. It's a miracle they let Haymitch and I get something to eat!"

"Then sit with us." I cut in before anybody else can get a word in, in the process I manage to knock Haymitch's arm off my shoulders. It's then that I process what she said.

"Other Victors?" I offer, questioning her meaning.

She smiles "Yes of course, most of the former Victors escaped before the Capital could get them! Chaff found a way to make homemade liquor..."

Well that explains it.

"And you are?" Hazelle asks uncertainly. I see the gears in her head turning. Who is this strange woman? A former Victor herself?

"Oh forgive my manners! Effie Trinket. Former District Twelve escort."

The air thickens the second she says her name and I know she's been instantly excluded from dinner plans. I won't let that happen.

Effie is oblivious, ignorant, all around a blind person. But she's still somehow managed to get a place on the list of people I care about.

I see Haymitch's foggy eyes look at me uncertainly. I give a small nod, my approval of Effie being here. He grabs her wrist and pulls her closer to him. It's the most basic human function of saying 'she's with me.'

Knowing I have to be the one to break the obvious tension, I grab Prim's hand and begin to walk towards the feeding line; she smiles at me, her eyes puffy with tears and love. I smile back down at her, truly smile, for the first time since my return.

I see what they meant when they said they wanted a good place in line. The cafeteria is packed as people wait in a long line that stretches back out to the hallway. This seems to be normal though, as my mother stops and waits patiently. Instantly I feel more eyes land on me. A glance to the tables and I see dozens of pairs of eyes watching me, waiting for me as though I'm supposed to be doing something other than eat. It's making me nervous and edgy.

If they want to see me slurp down food, then I can give them the best show of their lives.

As the line continues to pace slower and slower, I find my sister peeking around my back to look at Rue. As children, they are naturally curious of each other and I'm sure they could be great friends. I lean down, taking Rues hand in mine and say, "Rue, I'd like you to meet my little sister Prim. Prim," I motion over to Rue, "this is one of the bravest little girls you'll ever meet. Would you like to help her with dinner for me?" Trusting as they are, Prim grabs her hand and they continue to walk forward, giggling and swinging arms as they go. I fall back a bit to speak with Gale.

Luckily the others seem to ignore us for the time being.

"What's gotten into you?" I whisper under my breath.

"Nothing." He snaps back.

"It's obviously something." I throw back. I thought he'd be happy to see me again, I thought... I don't know what I thought. Not this.

"Look I'm sorry just... Just... Mellark." He's mumbling again, I have no idea what he's trying to convey to me except he says Mellark and I straighten in defense.

"Peeta? What about Peeta?"

"Yes him. Since when are you in love with this guy? You know what, I don't even want to know….Lines moving." He motions forward, not even giving me a chance to catch my breath. Was that an accusation?

I see my mother watching me uncertainly. I give her a quick gritted smile before moving forward. I figure I'll let Gale cool off for now but I lean in and say, "This isn't over, not even close Gale." I pat him on the back, trying to smile harder at my family looking on and we begin to fill our plates.

I get my food, nothing special. I am surprised to see Greasy Sae working behind the counter. A smiling familiar face is something I didn't realize I needed, but her expression says it all. We exchange a quick laugh and a promise to talk later before she has to get back to work.

As my family takes a seat at their table I feel a tentative tap upon my back. Marrisa stands uncertainly behind me, giving an unsure smile but gesturing for a seat with us. I scoot over and let her sit between Prim and I. Posy seems to like her instantly, fascinated to meet somebody else with red hair.

Not even noticing that I'm pushing my green beans around the plate instead of actually consuming them, Marrisa leans over and nods to look to the north east of the room and it's then that I see them clearly. District Two: Clove, Brutus, Enobaria and Cato, of course. They are back to the stoic Careers I met before the Games and the feeling of sadness washes over me. I had hoped our pseudo friendship had meant something, but it clearly doesn't. They eat their food in silence, not once noticing us glaring at them, standing up at the same time and exiting the room.

I watch the entire procession with a strange fascination. Who are these people really? Why train your whole life for some 'honor' if you aren't actually going to live after the Games. And they certainly aren't enjoying any of the admiration and prosperity that comes with being a Career or Victor for that matter.

"I think you like him." Posy giggles, completely breaking my thoughts.

"Mhmm?" I ask, pretending to take a bite of my meal. The others are still eating and I'm trying to shake the mental image of Gale out of my head. His actions are confusing and more abrasive by the hour. I'm starting to get the feeling that I don't truly know anyone anymore… No one but Prim. I breathe out my discontent and I strain my eyes trying to find any other tributes from the 74th games. But they either left already or are too far to see.

"I think you like him. Cato." Marrisa whispers under her breath. I almost spit the water out of my mouth, choking back my composure. What's she talking about? I hardly know him and what I do know is he's tried to kill me almost as many times as he's tried to save me. That's certainly not something to base a "like" on.

"I guess he's alright." I shrug for safe measure I throw in, "He did save my life."

She stares at me for a minute before slowly saying, "I researched while I had some free time. Your hypothermia must have been pretty bad to still have side effects days later."

I'm instantly not comfortable with this subject either. "And..?"

"Well Cato seemed alright which means you must have been in a colder situation for longer than he was. What exactly happened?" She watches me out the corner of her eye.

Marrisa is by no means stupid. If the Hunger Games involved a written test she would have us all beat. By hinting at questions, she's telling me she knows more than she's letting on and it's putting me on edge again. What is she playing at?

"Flash flood." I say, turning to look at her directly.

"And he jumped in and saved you?"

"Yes."

She digs into her food, taking a sip of the soup. "I imagine you had to warm up fast afterwards."

Oh God she knows!

"Obviously…" My voice manages not to crack.

She doesn't say anything after that. Just smirks as she continues on with her dinner. She surprises me when she begins to speak again, "I know you aren't the talkative type. Neither am I for that matter... But if you ever want to... talk." I get what she's saying and it's exactly what I do want to hear.

I love Prim and Rue. But maybe I need somebody around my own age to talk to sometimes.

"Take you up on that, Foxface."

A smile breaks out over her face on her old nickname.

Haymitch and Effie stand to go, not before Haymitch points at Rue Marrisa and I, "Be ready for the meeting by nine. Somebody will come pick you up." He slurs.

Effie scolds him saying something along the lines that "Pointing is rude."

* * *

><p>With the long walk back to our apartment, I couldn't help but let everything sink in. What had happened to us, what we had survived, what we still had to come… Everything just seemed so complicated. With Gale and his family in the next apartment, I had no time to corner him again. Freedom feels less and less like freedom when I can't even figure out what Gale wants, what Haymitch wants, what this new Rebellion wants. I just want to lay down.<p>

I'm about to get into bed myself when my mother brings in my arena coat. "They said you forgot this on the hovercraft."

I can't begin to imagine why they would want to give it back? It's still burnt in some places from the day of the announcement. I take it none the less. Immediately the gold gleam catches my attention, the reflection of my mockingjay pin. I sputter, trying to find my voice.

"M-Madge?" I cough out. I don't even know if she's okay…

The look in my mom's eyes makes my stomach sink. Seeing the fear in my eyes, she quickly tells me what she knows. "Her parents died. She was watching the Hunger Games with the Hawthorne's when the District caught fire. She has some pretty bad burns so they're keeping her in the hospital for now."

I swallow, feeling despicable for taking this long to remember her.

And by the Hawthorne's no doubt she means Gale. Is that why he's been acting so weird? Is he just worried about her? The day of the reaping he didn't seem to be her biggest fan. I assume they bonded during my absence.

I make a mental note to visit her as soon as I can.

There's a rattle in my coat pocket and I almost groan, remembering my hypothermia pills.

I pull the tube out, my mother's eyes watching it questioningly. "Hypothermia." Is the only explanation I give. She hands me a bottle of water which I accept gratefully as I try to take my pills and not choke. If she cared to ask, she certainly didn't and I'm glad for it. I don't want to talk anymore.

* * *

><p>Bright and early the next morning, Rue and I are waiting to be ushered to this meeting. Haymitch and Chaff show up and it takes me a moment to realize why Rue runs to hug Chaff. He wraps one arm around her while the amputated one rests at his side.<p>

On the elevator Haymitch has to type in several passwords which tells me this won't exactly be an open meeting. I guess I'm right because when we do get to a conference room of sorts, it's packed with Victors of the Hunger Games. There are some whose games I can remember, others I have to do a double take on. I'm intimidated by the sheer number in the room and simply take a seat next to Peeta in the spot that must be reserved for the 74th Games.

There are fourteen tables, all facing to the front where a lone seat is isolated. Since it seems each District is segregated by table, looks like Haymitch is it for 12. Then the thirteenth table is reserved for the District Thirteen officials. Then us ten make up the fourteenth table and I take notice as to why that would be? Why would we not sit at our own District?

I look around the room and take stock of who's left. There's Mags of District Four. Her Games are so old I don't think I've ever seen them. Seeder from the same District as Rue and Thresh. A pair of morphlings who don't even seem to realize were they are. Cashmere and Gloss, the siblings who won back to back for District One. Johanna Mason, the girl who cried through the games and then showed a talent for killing. Finnick Odair, the sex symbol of the Capital, sits with Annie Cresta. Their closeness tells me they must be lovers or something.

Of course there are the District Two victors, a nice handful who sit away from everybody else. The only names I know are Brutus, Enobaria and Lyme. Cato and Clove sit at the end of our table so that they are as close as possible to them.

It gives my stomach a strange twist.

Everybody at the Thirteen table stand up when a woman who has to be Coin walks in. From first glance I'd say she's about fifty, with hair that falls in a perfect sheet to her shoulders. A thin face and cold eyes, all business from what I can take in.

She takes the lone seat in the room, her hands folding in front of her.

"First order. Welcome 74th annual Hunger Games survivors. Today we will be discussing District Two's exit."

My eyes shoot into the direction of District Two, or rather Cato.

Lyme stands up, the attention of the room falls onto her. "We're still divided at this time."

Coin doesn't seem pleased at all by this answer. "Have a decision by this time tomorrow."

Her eyes wander to my table. "Props should begin shooting soon."

Nobody objects, I can't even find my voice with all eyes suddenly in my direction.

The rest of the meeting, a good solid hour, is filled with talk about the Capital and the strategies of taking them down.

They take some time to mention food supply in Thirteen now that Twelve is here. The bureaucracy is overwhelming and I feel completely useless. There was no reason to call us here.

As soon as the meeting is adjourned everybody begins to head out for lunch. I hold back and hope Cato doesn't travel in a pack with the other District Two victors.

Rue smiles once at me before blowing me a kiss and running off with Chaff, Seeder and Thresh.

When Cato finally comes into the hallway he's alone. He sees me immediately and I have to motion to him before he walks over.

"What do you want, Fire Girl?" He growls.

I hate being back to Fire Girl. I want to be Katniss again.

"Just... Can we talk alone?" I can feel the people around me and the hallway is just too crowded for my taste. He looks past me to see if anyone takes notice of us, not once looking at me directly. His demeanor is so cold I am almost taken back. I knew he was a Career to the core, but to act like we were never friends? I don't understand.

"Alright." We go the opposite direction of the others, most are too hungry to notice our departure.

We twist and turn in the hallways, he opens door after door, rejecting them or they are locked.

I want to tell him to cut it out, that he's probably raising alarms. But somehow the idea of being alone with him right now outweighs the risks, almost exciting.

He finally finds a room that seems to live up to his expectations, a miniature conference room similar to the one we were just in.

"So what did you want, Fire Girl?" I wince.

"Are you leaving?" I manage to keep my voice steady.

"I will leave if my District leaves."

"Damnit Cato! They'll kill you."

He snorts, "You think I don't know that." Turns his face away from me but I know better than to think he doesn't care. I know he doesn't want to die, no more than I did.

There's something colder about him… it scares me. The person in front of me wouldn't come back when I fell like the other Cato did. The Cato before me was starting to feel a lot like the brutal methodical killer who began in the Games.

"What's going on Cato? What are you not telling me?"

He watches me for a minute, his eyes clouded by... I refuse to name that warm and comforting look that drew me to him in the first place.

I bravely step forward, close enough that I can feel his breath, pleading, "Talk to me."

I see his eyes flicker to the door, maybe tempted to run. I snatch his wrist in my hands. Instantly his eyes flash down and I wonder if that was my death sentence. But I refuse to let go. He saved me once and even or not, he deserves better than to throw his life away like this.

"Talk to me." I hiss out.

"No." He steps closer, hovering directly over me. A move to intimidate me I realize.

"Why not?"

"I don't need to talk to you, Fire Girl."

"Katniss. Call me Katniss! You know me, Cato. PLEASE tell me what's going on!" I growl.

He sighs, pulling his hand out of my grasp. "Katniss... I just... They..."

"Cato?" What was he trying to tell me?

He's staring off into nowhere, his face a perfect mask that I just can't get around. I see the decisions he makes in his eyes, how he tosses one out or accepts another. I keep my mouth shut, wanting the choice he makes to be entirely his. In reality it's only a minute, it feels like a year before he's made some sort of choice. We could cut the tension with a knife and it's getting harder to hold my tongue.

I'm about to open my mouth… beg him not to go. They will kill him if he tries to leave. But just as I go to say this he steps forward. One step and then another to close any distance we had between us. Every strength I had was gone and I can only focus on the face in front of me.

There's a new resolve in his features and my heart catches in my throat. He's already made his decision. I inhale sharply thinking that the next time I see him will be at his execution. It's in this brief moment of clarity I can see that I would give anything in the world for that not to happen.

All my lucid thoughts evaporate when I feel his lips crash onto mine.

* * *

><p><strong>Finally the weekend which means all my school tension is over! Thank you for all the reviews! Shattered any record I had before. Again thanks to MsCassity for making this chapter even better.<strong>

**Let me know what you think.**


	15. The Glow

Chapter 15: The Glow

Never in my life has a boy done something as simple as put his lips onto mine. Although I had never quite imagined how these sorts of things played out, the sensation is calming and alluring. My mind wanders into bliss, letting the sensory overload of Cato take me over as I closed my eyes in elation. His lips were tender and supple, feeling him breathe softly onto my face with his scent all around me. My hands found themselves cupping his face gingerly; wanting to believe this was real.

I exhaled gently, 'Cato'

That's all my mind could conjure up. Cato…. And somehow this felt more right than anything else. When it felt as though he might pull away I threw my arms around his neck, pulling him in closer. He must have liked this as I now felt something on my lips, his tongue I realized. I inhaled him deeply and leaned into the kiss, wanting him closer. His teeth nibbled on my lower lips and somehow I knew what he wanted. Uncertainly, I opened my mouth as our tongues began fighting for dominance. My breath hitched as I giggled weakly, the knot in my stomach tightened as I felt him run his hands through my hair and down my back. I couldn't stop the moan that vibrated between our lips as his mouth began moving even more ravenously against mine. With one swift motion the hold on my waist began guiding me forward until I felt my back hit the wall. Breathing in deeply, my hands ran through his spiked blonde hair, twisting stands to curl around my fingers and not wanting to ever let him go.

Normally I don't like to feel trapped, but for this I had certainly wanted to make the exception. Suddenly his lips leave mine and I feel a delicate kiss on my forehead. Grinning, I open my eyes to meet his gaze. Although I had taken notice of his eyes before, the look he had right now took my breath away. I had no idea he had the ability to love and yet there it was, sitting right behind his piercing blue eyes. I see his cocky smile, the same one he always wears and before I can react, he is on my neck. I inhale as he sucks gently, his tongue leaving patterns along with his kisses. With as much restraint as I can muster I keep my hands in his hair and let him continue. My hands fall to his shoulders, taking my time to finally feel the muscle beneath the shirt. That damn shirt that blocks my hands from feeling his bare skin!

He moves farther down, one of his generous hands leaving my hips to push my shirt collar aside, taking one finger and lightly moving my chin to the opposite side. I can feel him softly placing butterfly kisses along my collarbone, soothing my skin with each heated touch and this time a louder gasp escapes my lips.

"Ca…Cato!"

"Mhmmm?" He hums with a smile and one eyebrow cocked upright.

"Oh." I purr when he gave me a light bite on the shoulder.

"Oh." He teases back. I'm sure the color of my cheeks would put a crayon to shame right now. He pulls away eventually, much to my disappointment. His hands take my chin into place before he puts a final airy kiss on my lips.

His forehead comes to rest on mine as our breath mingles, running his hand over my cheeks; both of us gleaming with joy.

There was a reason I had come in here, I recalled, as my wits started to regain themselves. What was that thing we were talking about before this? Him…. District 2….. Leaving…..Right! Got it!

"You…You can't go." I mumble.

He sighs, "Katniss..." Shaking his head at me, clearly hoping he wouldn't have to answer this.

"No, I mean it Cato! I won't just stand around and watch you get yourself killed!"

He falters for a moment. "Why?" He says so quietly that for a fleeting moment I'm not sure I heard it.

"Because…Because." Think Katniss, think! What's holding him here? After what just happened, did he truly not know?

"Because I care about you…" Eyes averted to the floor, I trailed off. More than that though… I- I love you? Did I love Cato? The idea of him hurt destroyed me, the knowledge that he could die left me shaking. Was that love? Whatever it was, I felt protective of him and couldn't stand the thought of him being away from me any longer.

He sighs, letting out the breath he was holding, "I care about you too."

He rubs his free hand through his hair, more out of frustration than need I guess. "Look, they're going to wonder where I'm at right now. We've been gone for too long. I need you to meet me somewhere tonight?"

I nod, "Where at?"

He thinks for a moment with his hand resting on the back of his neck, "Meet me at six, at the hovercraft repair station in The Hanger. Do you know where that's at?" I nod slowly, recalling seeing it when we first got here. If not, I could always ask.

"Six then…" And he's out the door before I can blink.

After a few minutes of sifting through feelings I wasn't ready to handle, mentally cataloging what I assumed just happened, I stumble out of the room trying to gather any composure I could. Thank goodness the hallways are clear. I get into the elevator and hit the main floor's button, leaning back into the cool glass still sorting through every moment and trying not to smile. I come out just outside the cafeteria which is still pretty crowded and straightened myself to enter through the swinging doors.

It's tempting to go back to my room and just collapse onto my bed, but there's no way I can fall asleep in my Cato induced haze. The thoughts of his scent, his tender kisses and hands as they held me…. I could swim in these all night but luckily my stomach grumbles; food, I want food. Logical enough it seemed.

I'm late for the initial rush so I manage to get a tray pretty quickly. As I approach the food line Greasy Sae gives me a strange look but before I can ask her if she'd like to talk a few people trickle in that she has to serve. Shrugging it off, I continue down the line and grab a few small things as I go…apple, some water and a small frothy soup.

I spot a head of flaming red hair and the curly dirty blond. I've never been very sociable in District Twelve, but somehow it's within my comfort zone to go sit with them. If I had anyone I would consider friends, strangely enough, these two seemed to fit the bill. Who knew?

I set my tray next to Marrisa, trying to sit down and Glimmer's face lights up. "Katniss, I heard your family was okay!" She reaches in for a hug which I give in return. Never imagined we'd be okay on this level and yet, here we are again. Life has taken such a strange turn, I note, as I smile and sit back down.

"Yeah, everybody's just fine." I say before taking a spoonful of my soup. I think about getting in on their already overwhelming conversation but realize my mind is too distracted to actually participate. Enveloped in my menial meal, I don't notice right away when both girls stop talking and not until I feel both of their eyes on me do I pause, mid bite, and drop my spoon back into the bowl, "What?" I ask, wondering if they had me included into the conversation without me knowing.

Marrisa bites her lip, "Well…. ugh. Hm." Staring intently at my face, and then moving down to my shoulders.

Confusion must be evident on my face, because I see Glimmer is giggling now, cupping her mouth trying to hide.

"So tell me, Katniss… who's the lucky guy?" She says, gritting her teeth in glee and stifling another laugh.

I try not to look surprised, "I'm sorry?"

Marrisa and Glimmer break out into tiny giggles and I'm not sure if I should be bothered by it. Placing both hands on the table in pseudo anger I say, "Okay guys, seriously… tell me what's going on?"

Marrisa leans over and undoes my braid so that my hair falls in a wavy mess around my shoulders. Glimmer pulls out a mirror and hands it to me. I'm not sure what I should be looking for, but it becomes obvious when I see what my hair hides.

'Oh dear god!' I think loudly. There it is. An angry red mark that will no doubt be a hickey and all I can think is, 'I'm going to kick his ass!'

"Oh." I feel the embarrassment spreading across my cheeks. Immediately I am repositioning my hair to cover it, no doubt this is what Greasy Sae saw and what these two found so hilarious.

I try to clear my throat as they try to contain their giggles.

"Hey guys! What's up?" I cringe at his voice.

Oh no.

"Hey Peeta!." Marrisa manages to get out while Glimmer giggles into her food and puts her head on the table as her body shakes from laughter.

He sits across from me next to Glimmer who can't sit up yet. Motioning to her with his thumb, with a confused face, Peeta looks mystified as to what's actually going on. Marrisa shakes her head at him and does her best to finish her food; I follow her example as does Peeta.

Glimmer eventually does get her voice back, "Katniss I can't believe it! You are so lucky!" I give her one glowering look to shut it, which is all it seems to take to sober her right up.

I'm almost done with my food, taking larger bites now and trying to get out of here before they can kill me with a thousand questions.

"So... What's going on?" Peeta asks gently.

Before I can make an excuse for the hectic behavior, I'm horrified to feel my hair lifted to the side by Glimmer. She breaks down into a new fit of giggles and Peeta is left with the perfect view of the ever darkening mark on my neck.

I push my hair down and try to finish my food off without looking at Peeta.

Standing up, I'm just about ready to dump my tray when suddenly Marrisa gasps, "Peeta! Was somebody choking you?"

All eyes avert to his neck now.

Glimmer almost coughs out another fit of laugher, pulling his shirt collar down to reveal a few marks very similar to mine, though a bit older as it would seem.

This evokes a new round of laughter from both girls and even I let out a shocked chuckle. I also realize I DO NOT want to know anything more so before they can ask any more questions I rush to the exit which Peeta seems all the more eager to get to now as well.

We head in no direction, just putting as much distance between us and the cafeteria as possible. Once we are alone an awkward silence falls over us. He's stealing glances over at me… I am doing the same to him. Neither of us have much to say but curiosity always gets the best of him and he breaks the ice first.

"So... you too?" He manages to get out.

I nod up and down, my neck stiff with tension.

"Who gave you yours?" I ask, as I realize I don't have any idea who Peeta would be with. A girl from Twelve perhaps? He did have a large circle of friends before the Hunger Games, it's very possible one of them would put the moves on him now that he was alive and well. What takes me more by surprise is when he reluctantly tells me her name.

"Clove."

I guess I shouldn't be too surprised, but still I end up side grinning at him anyway. Who could resist Peeta after all?

"And you and... Gale?" He motions to my atrocity.

After the initial shock of Clove's name wears off I manage to shake my head. Knowing I could trust him with any secret I needed kept, I closed my eyes and whispered the name.

"No…..Cato."

We both pause, looking at each other intently in the eyes. He reaches over and puts his hand on my shoulder, trying to reassure me.

"Who knew, huh?" We both let out a sigh and smile. We certainly didn't, that's for sure.

* * *

><p>I leave my level at precisely five, having spent the greater majority of the day wandering around and meeting past Victors. By far, my favorites were most certainly Finnick Odair and his fiancée, Annie Cresta, who tell me I 'just have to be at the wedding.'<p>

The promos we were meant to film today get pushed back due to bad weather. Apparently that rations the power in District Thirteen. I hope it rains all week.

Getting more impatient with each hallway I find is incorrect, I get lost a few more times before manage to get to the Hanger right at 6. I suppose I could have just asked for directions in the first place. As I start to walk around I notice this space looks abandoned. In fact, I have yet to see a single living person here. I cross my arms in aggravation, regretting not bringing a coat as a gust of bitter wind comes through. We must not be too far from the surface I muse.

I lean against the concrete wall and close my eyes for a moment, taking in what almost feels like solace when his voice breaks the howling wind.

"Tired?"

I wasn't tired; I just wasn't quite ready for this conversation. I breathe out heavily and open my eyes to the inevitable. There stands Cato in all his glory; overwhelmingly tall and pure muscle. It's understandable why the Capital women swooned for him during our interviews and why I feel myself doing the same. I hadn't taken the time to truly appreciate him before and as he walks closer to me, I realize this was a mistake. He was stunning.

"Hi." I manage to get out, at a complete loss for words.

He watches me curiously before closing the gap between us and stopping for a moment right before me; he hesitates by placing his hands around my cheeks and nuzzles in for a kiss. Every comment I had built up inside for this moment melts away and all I want is for him to hold me, to envelop me like this and never let go. I lace my fingers through his hair and hope that he feels the same.

Is this the boy who came back for me on that hill? Who jumped in the water to save me? I hoped it was. Only that Cato could hold me so tight but so carefully.

I sigh when the warmth of his pristine lips leaves mine and I'm left standing there. His blue eyes dancing with amusement and that cocky grin spread across his features.

"Knew you wouldn't resist…" His confidence is almost as enticing as his voice.

With my own confidence, trying to match his, I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him in closer. Taking my lips in dangerously close to his, teasing, I whisper, "What's there to resist?"

* * *

><p><strong>Go ahead and thank MsCassity for how well this chapter turned out!<strong>

**Sorry for the long wait, hope the kisses made up for it. Gotta love the kissing.**


	16. A Walk Down Memory Lane

Chapter 16: A Walk Down Memory Lane

"You okay?" Peeta asks me.

I must have been staring off into space and worried him again. "I'm fine." I respond.

He shoots me a reassuring smile as the hovercraft begins to slow and land. As expected, the rain never came today so Promos continued on schedule. The others in our team were exempt from what they have planned today, namely Peeta and I looking at the ruins of District 12. I swallow back my nervousness at having to face my old home, although I never imagined I would miss it, seeing it in pieces wasn't on the agenda either. While most of my loved ones made it out, a great amount of people I once knew did not. My memories begin to saturate me and when I literally don't think I can stand to look out my window anymore, I turn to Peeta hoping for strength. Gazing into his eyes all I saw was crashing waves of emotion and pain which mirrored my own. He had lost so much and for these monsters to make he and I relive our worst nightmares seems more ghoulish by the second. I wanted to tear them apart for hurting me, but I would have killed to keep him from this pain.

The Captain announces our landing moments before the craft came to a reeling halt, which seemed even more ignorant from where I was sitting. The back door opens and Cressida, the director and the one who shot our first promo upon our arrival to Thirteen, ushers us out. In a way she is a subdued Effie Trinket in the likes of scheduling, I can't imagine she has ever been late to an event in her life and I find myself disliking her more and more.

One deep breath after another, trying to calm my nerves before I tore them apart, I find myself holding onto Peeta for reassurance; He smiles and takes the lead. The Ants, which is what I've dubbed the lavish camera crew, all move around Peeta and I. They must catch every emotion we show. Knowing full well that I am not going to enjoy the next few hours, I steel my emotions and hold my head high. I'll be damned if these Capitol bastards are going to get a single smile, tear, whimper or even smirk out of me.

My feet land in the burnt grass of the meadow. It still smells like smoke, the coal probably kept it burning for a while.

"Now just move into the District boundaries." Cressida calls from behind one of the Ants.

Gazing upon the fallen fence I'd spent so many years crawling under I see one post stands but the rest are on the ground, the barbed wire sticking out at strange angles and grappling all around.

I close my eyes and see the entire episode unfolding in my mind; People rushing to get away from the fire, yelling, crying, screaming for loved ones as the smoke and fire licked at their heels and burned into their lungs as they fought for more air. As they approached this exact location and were wary of the electrified fence, unsure if they should brave the fire or face certain death. Gale showed them it was just simple wire and crossed to safety, everyone would have followed Gale; He always kept such a brave face for me. This was the last stand of my proud District and for those who made it home; they still faced the horror of knowing what I know now… We may never be safe.

With another painful sigh, I continued my walk through the meadow and became aware of Peeta drifting away in his own thoughts. What a stupid idea, to come here now, after so much had happened to us.

I kick a rock in frustration and when I glance down I'm horrified to see a half buried skull. Oh my god, I think I'm going to be sick. Is that what I look like, under my skin? Who was that? Did I know them? I want to turn and run, run away from this bone yard of loved ones and friends, but I know any breath of fear and this president will have no use of me any longer. I'm only valuable if I'm strong and my cunning only runs so deep. I can almost hear the camera as it zooms in on my face and I wipe away the horrified expression off my features and move on. I'm not so sure that it works, if it didn't, these pathetic Ants certainly didn't let on.

We jump around the remains scaring the ground and get into the old boundaries of District 12 seeing that most of it is ashes now. In the far off distance I can make out the standing Victors Village. This only for the Capitol reporters who come here, they wouldn't have left anything undone on purpose. I feel my hate growing inside my chest once more and vengeance is always a dish served cold…

"Katniss! Let's visit your house first!" Cressida calls, shaking me out of my anger induced state.

For one precious moment I almost forgot she was here but no such luck, so I nod in response; my feet easily take me to the place I was born and raised. Of course this time my eyes stay on the ground, terrified of kicking another skull. These were people I knew, traded with, even came to respect and all that is left is their bones. Not even a proper burial is given.

We reach my home far too quickly and as we do, I see that it's one of the only ones semi-standing. I wonder if this is coincidence or if Snow did it on purpose? I grimace to myself again; No way this was an accident. He will want to see me suffer whenever he has a chance and I'm afraid he will continue to find them as this war rages on.

It's just as I remember, my old home, and a pang of longing hits me. I haven't been home since the morning of the Reaping. That was over a month ago but it feels more like a year. So much has happened since that fateful day and yet, I would still take Prims' place in the Reaping in a heartbeat. It took less than that to decide the first time. They will never get my sister, never.

I growl as one of the Ants goes in before our party, only calling when they felt it safe enough for us to enter or felt at least that it wouldn't collapse on us. Peeta respectfully waits outside as I hesitate in going in.

Did I really want to see this? Did it matter? I was going to have to no matter what.

I drag myself up the stairs and into the door that stood flexing in the wind, ajar enough for us to walk through.

I hesitantly push my way through and there is thin layer of ash everywhere but no amount of chaos can erase my memories that lay below. I can still see every detail as clear as they were happening again…. The small scratches on the old table, the crack in the window from a stray rock on the road, the loose floorboards I tried so hard to fix but was never fully able to do so.

I take it all in, trying to remember a life where this house was everything to me. This is where my father would return to after a long day's work and it now resides with the last memories I had of him. I didn't realize how much I missed him until this moment. It's in this clarity that I see what the Capitol can do with their power. They can build grand cities, meals that span whole halls with their decadence, glorify children killing each other for sport. They can take away your family and friends and leave you with nothing but a pile of ash to mourn over. I had to bite my lip to calm the pain that seared my chest. I thought I would be okay to do this, clearly I was not.

Before exiting this house for the last time, I decide to take my father's old hunting jacket from the rack and the small wedding photo of my parents and put it in my old game bag for safe keeping. I'm about to clear the front door when I hear a hiss. Buttercup? So many people died agonizing deaths but somehow this insane cat still sits there, ears pulled back and eyes gleaming at me. He looks worse for wear, his fur tangled and matted in dirt.

"Do you want Prim?" A strange recognition comes into his eyes at her name and reluctantly he steps forward to me. I grab him by the back of his neck and stuff him into the game bag.

One of the Ants chuckles, but only momentarily as I turn back around into his face and let out the lowest growl I can muster. He must have felt the anger radiating off of me, knowing to shut his mouth and we all make our way outside. Peeta smiles at me, seeing a renewed determination across my face.

With crew in tow, we are both ushered further into the Merchant side of town where Peeta will have to face his demons and I pray that he finds his constitution as I have. I will not falter, I will not fail. Someone will pay for this tragedy.

Peeta and I walked solemn together and glanced back for one last look at what was left of our homes before boarding the last military hovercraft back to District 13. Although I hadn't thought of what I wanted after the war was over, coming back to this didn't have the same glow as before and it pulled at my heart to say goodbye one last time.

Once seated on the craft ready for the trip, Buttercup escaped my game bag, all the while glaring at me, but sticks close by as he pounces on bugs as felines do.

Peeta seems to find this amusing, laughing whenever the stupid cat grabs at a bug or curls around our legs in an attempt at attention.

As they crew cleared out of our area, he surprises me when he asks, "So how's you ugh..." He taps his neck.

I almost choke on my bread and have to take a quick swig of water before trying to contain myself, "Cinna put some make up on it before we left this morning." Thank god.

"Yeah mine too." He says in a distant voice, head down. It's become apparent that Portia and both of our prep teams didn't make it out of the Capitol and he almost has a regret about him. Strange, I didn't think Peeta got to know any of them as I did.

As he wanders off into his own web of thoughts, I find myself in a completely different process. What had really happened last night? There was the kissing with Cato... And then...

I gulp, I'd felt something last night that I couldn't place words on. However vulgar it must sound the only way I can describe it as is turned on. By a Career none the less. I outwardly sigh, almost breathy, "Most definitely."

"I really like Clove." Peeta says, trying to draw me back into the conversation.

Somehow I think we're both on the same subjects. Should I talk to Peeta about Cato? Marrisa or Glimmer, for that matter, seem to fit the bill better but Peeta is here right now and he is going through the same thing as me. 'Why the Hell not' I think. I trust Peeta and I know he would never betray me.

"We've decided to keep it a secret." I mumble. He must not hear me at first, but after he unscrambles my words he nods in recognition. "Us too."

"So are you two together?" I ask.

"In a strange and crazy way, I think we are." He is smiling from ear to ear. "And you and Cato?"

I feel the involuntary smile graze across my lips. "Yeah." I hate how dreamy my voice sounds. Things just seem to take a turn for the more bizarre each day, each instance more unlikely than the next. Both Peeta and I reflect on the District Two tributes while we finish up our lunches in silence.

As we exit our hovercraft, Peeta and I say our goodbyes and go our separate ways into the District 13 viewing room. Cressida gives us a quick preview of what the promo will look like before we are free to go. It disgusted me to see how excited she was, however much good she thought she was doing, it was at the expense of both of our pain and that made her no worse than Snow to me. She said Buttercup's entry was perfect and much to my dismay, will be the conclusion of the promo. After the end of the film, I stood up with Peeta and we walked out without another word to them.

Buttercup himself still thrashed in my game bag as I took the elevator back down to my level and to my family; I know there are no pets allowed in Thirteen and that I'll need to find some loop hole in that, for Prim's sake. I was willing to take that risk for her.

Just about everybody is in their compartments right now. Prim, Rue and my mother were no exception. When I creaked open the door they all turned hesitantly to look at me, worried expressions on their faces. Prim and Rue are on their stomachs on the floor with a simple jigsaw puzzle in front of them. My mother, leaning on the table, looks to be mending a small tear in her shirt.

I look at them all and give them a reassuring smile before opening the bag and dumping the cat on the floor. He shakes himself off and is about to clean himself before noticing Prim.

She sequels, the tears falling onto her cheeks as she scoops the old cat up, cuddling him and whispering that it will 'all be alright.'

She proceeds to introduce him to Rue who pets him without pause and the cat begins to purr.

Maybe I'm the only one he can't stand?

He gives me a superior look as a blue ribbon is tied around his neck and the knots are gently combed out of his hair. I point two fingers at the cat, letting him know I'm still watching him, and take a few steps towards my mother in the kitchen. As she looks up at me I quickly pull out the wedding photo, carefully laying it on the table before her. She looks at it with disbelief, holding each edge with such care, as if she touched it too hard it would crumble or disappear. Between her flowing tears, she whispers a simple Thank You and walks out of the room

With everyone placated with the memoirs from our District I feel it's time to get some closure of my own. I head down the hall, down a flight of stairs, rounding the few hallways that stand between Cato and I.

Standing at the door, I give it a quick knock and wait with baited breath.

Marvel answers, looks me over and wiggles his eyebrows. He thinks he's cute, I hate to tell him different….

"He's in the training rooms."

"Of course he is." I sigh and thank him before I head back to the elevators below.

The training room is about a quarter of the size of the cafeteria, but still quite massive and it's similar to the one in the Capitol where we all went right before the Hunger Games. There are stations were you can perfect different crafts that aid in survival and endurance training. From across the room I spot him but Cato seems too focused to see I've come through the doors. I take a moment to admire his muscular body as he continues his regimen of heavy weight lifting and sword fighting

The room is fairly empty, only a small group of teenage boys occupy a corner, and all lifting much smaller weights I calculate. I also notice that each occasionally tries to send a glare in Cato's direction when he's not looking. Jealous? Perhaps…

I keep my composure as I walk across the empty floor, over to him and he clears his last set of weights before smiling back to me, "Back so soon? How'd it go?" Like my family, he's treading cautiously, probably afraid that I'll drop down in a ball of tears.

Trying to act as passé as I can, I shrug, "Went fine." I give him the brief story of finding Buttercup who he seems to remember me telling him about back in the arena. Knowing that I truly didn't want to talk about my painful visit, he takes my wrist and leads me away from the prying eyes of the boys in the room.

We walk to a less central corner dedicated to fire making where he wastes no time as he pushes me against the wall, taking my chin in his hands and he lets our lips melt together. I longingly sigh at just how right it all feels and I want to give in, I need to give in. This is what I want; Cato in my life.

His thumb rubs away the make-up to reveal my now completely purple mark below the collar of my shirt.

"Mine." He seductively whispers right below my ear, down the back of my neck and I shiver at his touch.

I had grown so tired of having to be strong for everyone, all the time, that I realized for the first time in my life, I love the sound of his protective growling between his butterfly kisses and all I wanted was more.

**Thank you all so much for reading. As usual this chapter is better because of MsCassity! Sorry this took so long, good news though, in that time I was mapping out were this story would go which hopefully means shorter waits on updates. I've got up to chapter 21 planned with the very basics. After that it should be pretty easy. Suggestions welcome.**


	17. Let Them Know

As expected we were roused out of bed early for another round of Propos and contrary to any of my feelings towards the matter, it was not something I had the liberty of turning down. Rue and I are escorted out of our room by the crew and she gives my hand a squeeze, fearful for what's to come as she had seen from my face the day before. I smiled down upon her for reassurance, hopefully she could see through the lies; I hated the thought of going out again, I hated the feeling of betraying my family by condoning more war, and even more so, I hated the idea that another slip up could cost me dearly.

We walked out to the surface of District 13 and were met by the rest of the group. My guess was this gathering today was to show our united support, our Districts coming together for a common purpose and I pause for a moment at the idea. I suppose we are a team now, but I can't help but wonder what Cressida would have us doing if she knew about Cato and I or even Peeta and Clove. I see the way she looks at both Peeta and I. A strange longing in her eyes like she wishes she could get the star crossed lovers routine going again.

Preparing for the day, Cinna approaches each of us, giving everybody a quick brush up with the make-up. He gave me a tiny bottle of concealer for my neck. That's the great thing about Cinna; he's a problem solver who is there to listen instead of pry. I don't think he ever gave me a whisper of judgment even though I know he was stewing with curiosity.

Glimmer takes the longest of any of us, asking Cinna to make her eyes 'pop'. She's such a girl, it's a wonder she made it through the woods as far as she did.

Our first Propo is airing today throughout the entire country of Panem and I'm both scared and pensive about what effect it will have. One of the former victors, Beetee, tried to explain how he was going to hack the Capital with the clip and lost me quickly in the explanation. I'll believe it when I see it, however, this is still our declaration to the Capital; The survivors of the Seventy Fourth Annual Hunger Games worked together and made it out. We made our stand and these are the direct results of our actions, no matter what we had meant them to be in the beginning.

In the back of my mind I think about what President Snow's face might look like when it finally happens. I close my eyes, grinning at the justice of it all. I look back up, trying to act like I didn't enjoy that a bit too much when Cato catches my eye across the field and sends me a quick smile. My heart beats faster and I return a smile. He doesn't even know the effect he has on me, but I can feel it every time he does.

Cressida calls us all around in a circle and begins to explain what we're going to do.

"You'll go on a hike nearby, talk and joke with each other… let it all come naturally." She says, fluttering her hands about, making it look much more dramatic than I think she needs to. She goes on and on about how this has to look believable but my patience is wearing thin and I find myself more distracted by the moment. My attention again is caught by Cato; He's wearing short sleeves today and I can't help but take him in from top to bottom. Slowly eyeing my way from his sculpted shoulders, flexed biceps, abs showing through his too tight shirt, pants that are just tight enough to keep me guessing and oh man, SNAP OUT OF IT KATNISS! I shake my head, grinning like a stupid school girl. FOCUS!

Hoping no one else caught me as I look back up to the group, Marrisa smiles in my direction and I have to push away the blush that creeps up in my cheeks. No doubt I'll hear about this later.

Marvel and Cato fight to take the lead again, just as they did in the arena and in this power trip they end up walking side by side, much to everybody's amusement. Marvel is lengthy enough that he can take longer steps than Cato, but Cato seems to have more stamina and is able to go up the high slopes without becoming too winded.

Their rivalry is hilarious at first, but soon I'm gripping my sides, gasping in deep breaths and panting quickly out. If they don't stop this macho bullshit quickly, we're all going to pass out from exhaustion. Weren't we supposed to be laughing and having fun? The only thing I'm grateful at this moment about is not having my backpack to carry around with me and from what I gather, everybody else seems to be feeling the exhaustion setting in as well but to my surprise no one else says anything. They don't want to come off as weak, I certainly didn't.

Cressida, with the Ants in tow, hover to the side of our pack and I try to hide my annoyance whenever a camera gets close to my face. I'd rather pass out then let these monsters see any waiver in my actions. Here they are, riding on top of their wheeled contraptions while we trek around the District, thirsty and starting to feel the wear. Do they even care that we're people or are we just another exploitation to them? Makes me sick, all of them.

Rue's voice calls out, "Can you guys please slow down?" Marvel and Cato pause in their silent power struggle and must finally see our tired expressions. The rest of the group seems to halt and it seems that her actions alone save my legs from collapsing under me.

Cato glances from us to the top of the hill; we still have a ways to go and I don't think a single person wants to keep moving.

Everybody, including myself, is surprised when Cato turns and makes his way down from the head of the pack and right towards me. For a minute I wonder if he's sick of these promos and is quitting but I know just as well he doesn't even know what the word "quit" means. He doesn't have it in him. He stops seconds away from Rue and I and I hope that he doesn't plan on doing something stupid in front of the cameras. I stand at attention and wait to see what his move is.

He looks to me and then to Rue, whom he grabs up and throws onto his back. She giggles and wraps her arms around his neck. Baffled is the only word I had, I couldn't have expected that any more than I would have expected a lion to approach a lamb.

Cato's hand brushes mine as he charges back to Marvel and the head of the pack, Rue holding onto him, still grinning from ear to ear, as they pass the others.

Cressida looks exceptionally pleased by this turn of events and I sneer at her invasive crew focusing in on Rue and Cato.

We continue the hike, though slower now, as Marrisa falls back into pace with me and shoots me a look that just says it all.

I knew it, you and Cato, as well as a thousand other things that I could never decipher on my own. I wish I could read people better.

Cato, Rue and Marvel reach the top of the hill and begin the descent down, Marrisa and I come up last and I'm surprised to where our afternoon trek has landed us. There's a nice sized lake just past the horizon and as much as I want to enjoy this moment, thinking back to District 12 and the few times my father had taken me to a similar place, I know in my heart this was no accident. I try to hide my contempt for this whole day and enjoy this small joy given.

Rue drops from Cato's back ahead of us and I see her lips moving as she whispers something to him. He laughs and says something back. God, I wish I could read lips.

Let the festivities begin! Marvel gives a loud 'whoop' as he runs to the water, stripping down to his boxers before jumping in. A loud splash comes up and sprays anybody to close. Cato also begins to strip, rushing past the camera crew and everyone on the beach and I'd be lying if I said I didn't appreciate the sight of him half naked. With a look of determination he jumped into the water and began swimming out past Marvel, who immediately took this as a challenge.

If they fight this much here I wonder what being roommates is like for them? What an exhausting life.

We had all made our way to the water and sat by the lakeside, Glimmer and Clove further away than the rest, laughing and lounging on the towels they were given. Winter would come in a few months and this was our last chance to soak up summer, I certainly wasn't going to let this go to waste

Azora's in the water before I can blink. Making sure the camera Ants, and all of Panem for that matter, aren't watching me strip down to what clothing I thought I could get away with, I slowly wade into the shallow water. Peaceful and serene.

I see almost everyone at the waters' edge at this point expect for Rue and wonder why she wasn't going to join in.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

She gives a sheepish smile, "I can't swim."

"Neither can I." Peeta calls from the shallowest part of the lake, only his ankles are in at this point.

A glance around tells me that most of them can't either, though Thresh seems to be picking it up fast enough. Marrisa is attempting to take on the deeper water but all she really gets accomplished is her flailing arms and legs splashing about before she has to come back to shore. It occurs to me that most of these people didn't have a childhood at all. The Careers may have had to learn to swim but the other Districts, what a luxury it would have been to get to do this at all. I hang my head, wishing I had not taken it for granted when I did. Just one more thing I didn't appreciate as a child come back to haunt me.

Looking back up at Rue, her eyes pensive at me and the water, I try to give her my warmed smile and motion for her to come to me. "I'm not that good but I can show you the basics."

She glances around at the others having fun before slowly giving in to me and letting it up to her knees.

I show her and Peeta how to relax and float as well as how to properly use your arms instead of flapping them helplessly around like our friends have done. They both try in vain to swim further out than their feet can touch but come back in quickly once they learn it's not as easy as it looks. Keeping their feet on the gravel beds, they splash around and enjoy the coolness of the water.

I leave them to their own devices and swim out away from everyone else. I want sometime to myself, away from the prying eyes of the Ants and Panem. I am floating backwards, soaking in the sun to my face but am not at all surprised when I feel a hand grip my wrist and pull me away from the water.

He doesn't have to speak at all for me to know it's him and I smile as I say, "That was nice. What you did for Rue, I mean."

He doesn't take complements well and looks down as he mumbles, "Yeah well, she doesn't weigh much." I know this is just his way of saying 'happy to help.'

I glance behind me, pleased that nobody notices we are gone. We had come out to the more rocky area of the lake, hidden by brush and jagged boulders.

"God, you look amazing." His bright blue eyes take in every inch of my body.

To cover up my embarrassment I look the opposite way and say, "Yeah well, you've seen me half naked and soaking wet before Cato."

He smirks, his eyes focused on my neck, "I was too busy to really enjoy it then, now wasn't I?"

I turn to quip something smart back and instead found lips on mine instantly, one deep kiss is all it takes to leave me unbalanced and seeing stars.

"I'm so glad you're staying." I mumble when he pulls away, "You are staying, correct?"

He pushes a few wet straggler strands of hair away from my forehead before looking me intently in the eyes, "We have decided that is the best course of action at this time. My Mentors were not pleased at our insistence, however."

I let a small sigh escape, wrapping my arms around his naked shoulders, and take him in. Even with his exposed skin, he's radiating heat, like the sun. His hair spikes in every direction when wet and glistens in the sun, small droplets gather and fall from his skin and his smile makes my breath hitch in my throat. Everything I didn't know I wanted and yet here he is, right in front of me. Without hesitation he grabs me up as close to his chest as he can muster and pulls me into his deep kiss; letting his hands grip my waist and I gasp as I leave the warmth of the water. No hesitation in his moments, I don't even have time to think until I'm flat on my back and he's directly on top, kissing hungrily as our tongues lightly amplify the sensation of his lips on mine.

"Cato." I moan, feeling my eyes roll into the back of my head in ecstasy. The pressure from his lips increases as his hands move ever so softly against my sensitive skin, his fingertips grazing my arms and across the sides of my hips and I find myself burning to come undone. It seems to leave a trail of fire wherever he goes, his touch is like fire and I grab the back of his hair in response. He bites down on my bottom lip to show he agrees.

I grab his shoulders and twist so that I'm the one on top now. The hunter in him watches me curiously, though the lust his eyes is unmistakable. I try not to let it affect me as I straddle him. I have both of his hands locked to the ground and am staring intently into his blazing blue eyes. He growls in acceptance and leans forward to take me again in his kiss, this time running his hands through my braid, grasping at my face. With him focusing on my every movement, I take this opportunity to return the favor he had done to me not so long ago.

I kiss up and down his collar bone and shoulder, letting him close his eyes and breathe out in pleasure before I latch my mouth onto his neck and take control.

I must be doing something right because a strangled sound comes from the back of his throat as he unintentionally grabs tightly of my waist, "Holly fuck, Katniss." He croaks, muscles tightening at my touch.

This only encourages me to go further. I bite down gently enough to get his attention, letting my tongue come out and lick lightly on his neck. Looking up, I see his eyes are still closed and he is breathing heavily and I know he enjoyed this every bit as much as I did. I place one last longing kiss onto his lips before I pull away, pleased to see a violent red mark similar to the one I had a few days ago resting lightly on his neck.

I cup his face in my hands before leaning in for a much lighter kiss this time, trying to wake him out of this coma. He just breathes me in and smiles as he laughs. I didn't think I would love the sound of something as much as I did his laugh. When it's true, it's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard and it's at this very second, I know I'm in big trouble. What started off as playful has turned into something much more and I don't think I'm ready to face the feelings I have for him.

Rolling off of him I pretend to relax under the sun which by now is pouring almost straight over me. I need to clear my head, my thoughts, before I let him in again. I need to think about what I want from him, really.

"Don't think I didn't notice." He whispers in my ear, unaware I'm trying desperately to not think about him at all.

Trying to keep it light, I laugh, "Why didn't you stop me then?"

"Well One: Only fair to let you return the favor. Two: Marvel keeps bragging 'I had one once' and Three: It was incredibly hot to see you on top of me like that." I smile widely, eyes still closed, wondering if he has any idea the effect he has on me at all.

We lay for a few minutes basking in the sun before wading back into the water and moving our way back to where the others seem to be splashing around

I despise the whistle Marvel gives, "Hey! Where were you two?" Giving his signature eye brow wiggle at Cato and I and in this singular moment I truly want to smack that grin off of his face but smile curtly and let Cato take that one.

"I was just teaching Katniss her backstrokes." Cato calls.

I continue to wade down into the water, trying to hide any embarrassment that may have escaped as we make our way back up onto the beach. Collecting our clothing I leave him to his group. I just want to find Rue and get out of this place.

I'm aimlessly fiddling with my braid, undoing and redoing it over and over again, as Rue, Marrisa, and Glimmer, in their own way, keep giving me the same look. It all says the same thing. No matter how much I didn't want that to happen, they all saw… They all knew. My secret was out and all I could feel was shame. Was I ashamed that I was careless enough to put myself out for the public to see or was I ashamed that I was falling for the enemy, a stranger who saved my life? I can't even imagine what my family will think when they hear the whispers in the halls.

The entire walk back I could only hope Cressida and the Ants didn't put it together. They may have suspected it but were either waiting to see if they caught it on tape or knew by the resolute look on my face that I might actually attack them if it were mentioned. I just hang my head down in shame and keep walking.

As soon as we got back we were ushered to the war room to see the Propo that was about to hit the Capital. President Coin sits in the center of the room, eyes trained perfectly onto the screen, never blinking, stone cold.

It's funny that I'm probably the subject of several news reels but this is the first time I've sat in front of a TV since training scores just before the Games. I didn't think I cared but once they begin, all I can think about is what happens next.

The news report on right now is about when coal production can resume, Peeta and I do our best not to cringe at the thought. The two Capital news anchors are talking about how a tighter ration will go on coal until things can be fixed are cut off by the Propo.

Finnick Odair's voice fills the room as he talks about unity amongst the Districts against a black screen quickly being taken over by a creeping fire. Footage of the rebellion is shown in some Districts, people fighting against the Peacekeepers, bombs exploding, guns going off…

They destroyed Thirteen, they destroyed Twelve. But we have survived.

It goes on for a solid minute; the last clip shows us exiting the hovercraft from our arrival in Thirteen.

And that's done it! An explosion happens the second the promo ends. There are several smaller screens in the war room, all of them muted but playing live coverage of different news stations.

Bettee seems to have gotten the most popular, but the smaller ones follow closely behind.

There are cheers as people congratulate each other on a job well done. Even I smile. We've done it somehow! The Capital knows were alive and I bask in the glory that President Snow is sitting in his office, probably throwing everything off his desk in a panic filled rage.

As we begin to file out of the room I notice that Cato is whisked away by District Two victors who have permanent scowls etched on their faces. I know this is my doing and protectively I give them the worst scowl I have, even if they don't care, I want them to know they can't harm him without dealing with me personally.

This day has been an emotional force and all I want to do is get back to my apartment to gather my thoughts, and focus. Sometimes this just seems like too much for me, it's too big for me to handle and all I want to do is run back to Cato and wrap my arms around him, let him hold me and things will be okay. As unlikely as that is, is seems logical to me at this moment.

Just as I turn the corner to the hallway I'm surprised to see Gale waiting just outside my door.

He glances up when he sees me, that tragic smile that's always on his face these days seems twice as prominent. It hurts to see him like this, we had done so much together before the Games, sometimes I feel like I've lost him altogether.

"Gale?"

He watches me for a minute, cautious, almost as if he's waiting for a reaction," You sound surprised." He laughs, which I also notice he never does. The air seems to grow a bit colder, "There was a time when we were always together."

"A lot has happened." I fire back, "What do you want?"

He considers this for a moment. "Yeah, a lot has." He nods, completely ignoring my question.

I watch him for another second before trying to move around him, to get to my door. I suddenly feel like the prey and he is the hunter, which he knows all too well. He doesn't move, and I realize I'm trapped in the hallway, between the door and him. I guess I had to face him some time, this is as good as any.

His hand grabs my wrist as he pulls me close. I'm inches away from his face and before I can even comprehend what is happening, his lips are on mine.

I don't know how to react at first. For a second all I can do is stand there. And then I feel his tongue on my lips. I cringe and try to pull away, pushing my arms up to his shoulders and giving a quick push off to create space, as I barely miss hitting my head against the wall. I wipe my mouth with the back of my sleeve feeling disgusted and violated.

For a minute I'm too stunned to say a thing, but then I reel back and growl, "Gale what the hell? You can't just do that!"

He blinks, realizing I've pulled away, completely unnerved.

Holding his hand to his cheek he yells, "I just thought- Are you telling me you've never noticed?"

"Noticed what?" I ask, my voice bordering on hysterics, cautiously stepping away at every one he takes forward.

"I mean, come on Katniss! We were always together in Twelve, always!" I take another step backwards and he grabs for my arm. "Please don't! I mean, for god's sake, I love you!" I shake him free.

I stand as tall as I can make myself, like a panther about to strike, and growl back at him, "Touch me again Gale and I swear I will end you right here." My instincts have taken over and I can see the fear in his eyes for the first time, and the sorrow. Him seeing me in the Games has probably made me look like some sort of monster.

I take two steps around him, my eyes never leaving his, and arms held out cautiously to not let him catch me off guard, and grab the doorknob to my apartment and push. I slam the door behind me, locking it as quickly as my nimble fingers will allow and slide down the doorframe. I see that my hands are shaking and my whole body is shaking in anger. My mind can't even comprehend what just happened. Gale kissed me and backed me into a corner like one of his slag heap girlfriends. I put my hands behind my head, face to my knees, trying to catch my breath between my hysterical yelps. All my strength couldn't fight him off when I needed it most… All I can think about is Cato. Do I tell him about what just happened or do I keep this to myself? The scenarios go through my mind and none of them end up with someone not getting hurt or worse.

I need to think, I need to get out of here… Right now. Cautiously I open the door backup once I hear a door slam. I hope this means Gale is gone. I race down the first hallway I can find, not caring where it takes me as long as it's away from prying eyes and questioning faces that I just can't deal with anymore.


	18. A Brief Confession

I heard once that when you're in a situation that you can no longer control and find yourself under extreme duress, the best thing to do was to stop put your head between your knees, and breathe. After all I've seen, after all I've done, THIS is what causes me to lose it? I can't imagine something so small, in the grand scheme of things, pushing me over the edge and yet, here I am. Running and running, not sure where I'm going but one thing is certain: I didn't want to slow down. In fact, I ran faster…to the point where I was gasping for air.

Maybe it wasn't just the fact that Gale kissed me? Maybe it was a whirlwind of everything else? I despised this feeling of being so small in the world right now. I wanted to go back to the simple times when hunting and feeding my family was the only thing I had to do. I knew what my responsibility was and survival was all I had to strive for. Of course this would mean I would have never met Cato. Would I really give that up? I stopped, midstride, and really thought about what life would be like without Cato up to this point. Would I have even survived through the Games? Our grand escape through the woods and Districts? Would I have seen my family again? It occurs to me that I owe him so much more than I have truly given him credit for and I wanted to see him right now. I needed to.

He would be alone by now…. I need to see him. In the same breath, I also came to the harsh realization that that the second I saw him I would have to tell him what happened, clear my conscience before anything else. Now or never, I thought to myself and my resolve was clear.

Would he blame me?

Of that, I wasn't sure, but the fact that Gale would be screwed weighed heavy on my heart. Gale and I may have been in a rough patch right now, but we had a good five years of friendship under our belts, friendship on my part anyway. He had to wreck it all by loving me! Damn you Gale! I shake the 'L' word out of my mind and keep running.

With a sigh I know exactly what I'm going to have to do and it has to happen now. I take a moment to figure out where I'm at and then do my best to navigate the direction of Cato's room.

It takes a while as just about everybody is at home for reflection. I could probably get in trouble for being out, though there is no schedule on my arm. I felt claustrophobic being cooped up in this place, over the ever watchful eye of a President I wasn't quite sure I liked any better than Snow.

When I begin to see familiar numbers again I know will lead me to him, I begin to slow. Feeling my heart race, my arms shake, I force my legs to keep moving though. He would forgive me, he would see that it wasn't my intention and for the first time, I truly realize that I cared what Cato thought of me. All this time I was worried about what would happen to Gale if Cato found out and not what he would actually feel about the situation, how it would affect him as someone who cared about me. My hands are clenched at my side, my nails digging into the palm of my hands as I raise one hand to knock.

Cato answers the door in sweats that hang dangerously low on his waist, his chest bare leaving me completely caught off guard. I bring my hand up to my face, trying to cover my grin and heavy breathing. It never ceased to amaze me, the power of his presence… alluring and powerful with a touch of perfection. He doesn't need to say a word, he can just simply be and I'm powerless against him. Try as I might, I couldn't lie to him if I tried and found myself flush from head to toe waiting to be able to speak.

"Can I come in?" I barely squeak out. I glance past his shoulders to see the room is empty. I have no idea where Marvel or Thresh could be but it's probably for the best that they're not here for the blow up anyway.

He steps away from the door and motions for me to come in, water roll down his arms and chest from his shower. As I walk by him I find myself being completely taken over by how he smells. As a hunter you take in your surrounding always and Cato smells like cinnamon and metal, which I find intoxicating.

Shaking my head again, Say it say it say it say it… Get your head in the game here Katniss!

I turn to open my mouth but nothing comes out, he is way too close for me to even register a thought. He's warm, even from a distance, and he runs his hands through his hair as it spikes in every direction which is even more distracting. With every sense I have left, I try and not do the stupid grin I usually do when he's around and look him straight in the face with what seriousness I can muster.

"Just tell me what's on your mind." He whispers seductively in my ear and I shiver again.

With my hand on his exposed chest, I breathe in and say, "Galekissedme." Exhaling sharply, waiting for the inevitable lash out.

Cocking my head to the side, I wonder if he understood what I just said? He must not have as there's still a look of amusement across his face and what he says next leaves me completely dumfounded.

"I know."

Wait, what? That's impossible, we were alone in the hallway…. he knew? How could he know?

"I'm sorry, what?" Again I am able to see the whole situation clearly. Shouldn't he be pissed, threatening to kill Gale? It's probably not a good thing that I wish Cato would punch Gale or something, but just standing there leaves me confused and unsure. He's technically my boyfriend so shouldn't he want to do something besides stand there and stare at me?

More so, I'm completely baffled by the whole situation. Is he trying to test me here?

"I'm not angry." He says.

And then I hear it, the slight drop in his voice. He's upset. Not angry, upset. And my heart drops into my chest… I don't like to see him hurt. Especially over something like Gale kissing me.

This is the reaction I might expect from Peeta, but not Cato. That's when it boils up, I WANT him to be angry, I want him to fight for me. I push him back with my other hand and demand, "You should be! He kissed me…. He kissed me Cato and if I'm yours then you damn well better show me!" That's the most brazen I've ever been and every expectation goes out the window to what happens next.

He takes a both my shoulders in his arms, eyes flaring blue, and pushed me back to the wall. With his face inches from my own, hitching my breath in excitement and a twinge of fear, he leans back in and whispers, "This is me fighting for you." One hand grabs onto my hip, running his fingers lightly up and down from hip to neck. Eyes locked on mine, looking for an answer he must get he says again, "You didn't enjoy it. The entire time you were thinking of me." Tilting his head he knows he nailed it exactly on the mark.

When I can't answer back, he smirks, "You were weren't you?" Not even looking at me at this point, he's now taking a lock of my hair and twirling it slowly around one of his fingers.

"Yes." I whisper, noticing I have no breath left and he's just radiating heat in the space between us.

A smile stretches across his face as he runs one finger down my cheek onto my neck, "Do you wish I was kissing you now?"

I don't hesitate, "Yes."

"Say please."

"Please." I roll my eyes and bite my lip, trying to hold myself back.

I guess I should be used to this by now, but every time he kisses me it feels like the first time. Exciting, scary, leaving me lightheaded in a haze of pleasure. Everything that makes Cato who he is and what I desire the most.

He pulls away after a few seconds and brings his mouth close to my ears, for a second I think I hear a growl. It's unmistakable and he's overwhelmed me to the point of intoxication

"If he ever touches you again... Well, let's just say he won't die right away." That was definitely a growl, Cato is a predator and dangerous, but what makes him especially dangerous is that he will never show you his emotions unless he wants you to see them. Before I can process much of this I fall, my back hitting the soft surface of a bed...his bed.

Before I have a moment to think he is hovering just above me, kissing me all over again. One hand slithers down my arms, sides and I almost don't notice it at first, until he is slowly lifting my shirt. The air in the room is much colder then I originally thought, it nips at my skin and leaves a trail of goose bumps in its wake. His touch is fire and my skin crawls at every grace.

His eyes search mine for approval or doubt, I stare at those incredibly cerulean eyes, storming with emotion, as my shirt leaves contact with my body as is tossed to the ground with a light thud.

He smiles as though he's actually won a victory and wraps his hands in my hair as he comes in for a kiss, much hungrier and more powerful than anything I've ever felt and all I want is more. I pull him in closer, running my hands through his hair and grasping at his muscular shoulders. I can't get enough of him, no matter how close he is. I open my eyes and drink him in…. skin illuminates as the light touches his face and I see how beautiful he truly is. I smile, placing my hands on both sides of his face, running my tongue across his supple lips and purr as he continues.

Not sure how to get his attention I then I realize the reason for my discomfort, I pull back, my face warming from embarrassment. I can't even bring myself to say the word, but pressed against me is his-his...

"Oh shit, sorry." He groans, pulling away and rolling to my side, moving away from me slowly.

I have no idea what to say, I feel like I should apologize for that. But really what can I do? I certainly wasn't sorry and by the look on his face, he's not either. Words come spilling out of my mouth in an ugly jumbled mess.

"It's not like I don't want to, I've just never done anything like this before and I don't really know what to do and I'm sorry." Pressing my fingers to my nose, trying not to show the absolute humiliation I feel.

I can feel him breathing from where I am on the bed but I do know, without looking, that there is a smile all across his face. At least he's not disappointed….

He leans over and gives me a quick kiss. "It's okay Katniss... But right now I just need to take a quick shower."

Trying not to show how overwhelmed I truly was I smile and wave him away. As soon as he's in the bathroom I scramble off the bed, put my shirt on and give a quick 'bye' before running out the door.

Oh that wasn't awkward at all.

I'm in no better shape than when I left to find Cato. He's not mad at me, that's for sure, but what he wants from this is a whole new mystery and I'm spinning. Though this time not about a simple kiss from Gale. Definitely not a simple kiss from Gale, Cato sure knew how to turn me around.

I stumble into my compartment, the lights are off but I manage to get to my shared room with Rue and Prim without turning them on. Inside I can make out Buttercup cuddled between the two girls, purring away. I'm sure if he was awake he would just love for me to see this.

I smirk before crawling into bed.

A feeling of longing takes over, and no matter how much tossing and turning I do it won't go away.

Damn you Cato!

What the hell am I going to do now?

* * *

><p>"We need to take District Two." President Coin says aloud to the chamber of District Members and it's met with a murmur of approval, though the District Two table stays quiet. Cato and Clove are fixated on Coin and I wonder what else this woman is going to say before they take a swing. I wouldn't put it past Clove to have some knives hidden in her belt somewhere.<p>

Peeta and I sit beside Haymitch now as the table for the ten remaining 74th Hunger Games Victors is now dedicated to coffee and snacks.

I wonder how he feels about this? His home about to be potentially destroyed? His family is probably still there, if the Capital hasn't gotten to them. I wince at the thought all the others must feel. This feels wrong…. I hate the contempt growing in my mind towards this woman.

"- And all ten of you will go for a Propo to be shot." She says motioning to the Victors, all of us.

My eyes dart to the President's face. She can't be serious can she? Does she really think we'll quietly go along with this? As if he can read my mind, Haymitch grabs my arm under the table and gives an ever so slight shake of his head, seriousness radiating off of him and I know this is not the time for me to be brave. But he knows I'm not going to stand for this… He better have a plan.

This President is standing before us, asking us to not only fight against a District we are united with, but asks us to show our support on national TV. Now she'll make Cato and Clove take up arms against their own people as well… I wonder if President Coin actually likes to do this to people?

"Tomorrow morning, we begin." She dismisses, waving her hand like she has just announced dinner and not genocide. I'm seething with hatred, anger but there's nothing I can do that won't put us all in danger at this moment. I look to Peeta and he has the same look on his face. We won't stand for it and it's about time we unite our friends.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm so sorry about the wait, and what's worse is this is sort of a filler chapter. Were about to get into the good hard action though. Stay tuned please. Again thank you MsCassity for editing, thank you for all your helpful reviews. Schools almost out and dreaded finals are coming so I can't promise faster updates but hopefully this summer I can get back to updating almost daily.<strong>


	19. Taking District Two

The hovercraft moves quietly through the sky. It's not as big as the one we came to District Thirteen in, but bigger than the one Peeta and I took to District Twelve. Inside are the ten of us, a mostly crew of soldiers, and of course the camera crew. Being with them hasn't gotten any `easier; it's almost more invasive as we continue this fight on District 2 knowing full well not one of us agrees with these ordered actions.

Gale's in another hovercraft, rejecting the offer to ride into battle with us because of 'overcrowding.' It's probably for the best as the impending battle to come doesn't need to happen on the way; Truly, I wouldn't be surprised if Cato 'accidentally' lost control of his sword if the occasion arose and I didn't need that on my conscious.

Being as close to Cato as possible while maintaining an inconspicuous position I find myself breathing in the scent of him that I've grown to love. His presence is soothing and that's exactly what I needed in this moment of unrest. His thigh is pressed into mine as though we don't have room on the hovercraft seats and I smile to myself. And when nobody is looking, his knuckles will brush against the back of my hand and we'll smile quietly at one another.

It's the quiet moments that we share that have given me the peace I need to wrap my mind around what's to come, what we're pacing towards at this very moment. This is war, whether we started it or not, and now we're fighting against someone I wasn't even sure is the enemy for a President that I don't even respect… And I don't have the will left in me to stop it. For my family Haymitch said, I needed to keep my cool… for now.

I sigh out loud and look up to meet eyes with Glimmer and Marrisa, whom I'm quite sure are reading into this much more than they should by the grins on their faces. Though at this point I think they all know. Clove and Peeta are much harder to figure out. I would never guess they were more than two people on this craft unless he had told me himself. They sit close together but otherwise act like they've never met before in their lives.

But there are times when Clove is glaring out the window and Peeta is talking to somebody that their arms or legs will brush against each other and they won't bother to correct it. I wonder to myself if that's what Cato and I look like, something so slight but intimate that keeps them together.

With District Thirteen far behind us there is no turning back and if we were to crash right now we would have the wilderness and the Capital, but no Thirteen. No backup, no plan B… Just ourselves. Yet, somehow I know that if we didn't serve a purpose to Coin that is exactly what would happen. How did it come to this? Looking inward and back to my friends faces, I have no idea and I hate the feeling that's ravaging my whole body. Hate, Fear, Doubt, Anger….Treachery.

Rue is the only one who was allowed to stay behind, not very useful to have on the battlefield. I was glad to let Coin think that, I didn't need her in the middle of this anymore than I wanted to be myself. When Marrisa, who sits on my other side, moves away to grab a snack I take this moment to softly lean in and whisper to Cato.

"You okay?"

He shrugs, "As good as I'll ever be with any of this."

I bite my lip, "I heard a rumor that Coin wanted to just bomb it."

"It's true…was true anyway. Brutus threatened to leave Thirteen if she did, take all of us with him."

"She'd kill you too." I sigh heavily. Now Two is seen as a threat to Coin and she eliminates all her threats.

He shrugs, "I don't think I would have left. Not that my loyalty lies with Coin either."

"Where do you're loyalties lie?" I can't help but ask. Clearly not with Coin, maybe with his District to a degree, but who does Cato really ally with? As close as we've gotten over the last few months I realize that I don't know him as much as I think I do.

He looks at me and chuckles quietly, shaking his head, "You really don't know?"

I bite back my anger. "If I did I wouldn't be asking would I?"

"My loyalties lie with you. To some degree with this team, but really you're all I have."

My heart quickens as I try to mask the utter surprise that boils within, "Me?"

"Yes, Katniss… you." His intense gaze says everything he wants to in this moment and it's making it more difficult to breathe. Do I love him? Is this what's worth fighting for? I squeeze my eyes shut and try not to acknowledge that he is trying, in his own way, to tell me he loves me. This is not the right time, not the place and even if I felt something for him that I've never felt with anybody else, I need to focus or we're both going to get killed.

The soldiers begin to gear up as the hovercraft slows. We're here.

Cato's hand gives mine a discreet squeeze as the doors open. A government issued bow and arrows are handed to me, Cato received a sword as the soldiers and crew rush out the hovercraft. This is our call to action, ready or not, this is it. Immediately out of the gate I hear explosions and gun fire, feeling the ground quake and the air fill with smoke and debris. I clutch back my anxiety, at my disgust at the Ants covered head to toe in body armor, and continue warily out the door. Cowards.

The heart of the fighting is further than I expected, but the continuous explosions and hallowed crying have me on edge. Everywhere I turn I see hundreds of Peacekeepers fighting with the grey uniforms of District Thirteen, and although we appear evenly matched, I can see my comrades falling. High-pitched round seem to be flying by me in every direction and I'm no longer aware of the surroundings. I don't know the layout of this part of the city and the situation seems to close in around me. Gasping for air, with my back against the wall, I wonder if these people had any idea this was coming or if the Capitol cared about them at all? These were just citizens, like my friends in 12 were, and I'm here fighting under the same tyrannous orders.

As horrifying as Snow is, Coin just joined his ranks…. Leading this country into levels of Hell I'd rather not understand. I feel a strong hand grab my shoulder and pull me down off the wall and around the corner to regroup. Cato seems to know just when I need him and he's saved me again, even if this time it's just from myself and my crippling fear.

Before we left on this mission, Lyme had said to take the Justice building, that this would be our best chance of winning. Cato and Clove argued that taking one small building wouldn't stop the fighting but this was dismissed. Haymitch had whispered to Peeta and I that taking the building should be enough. Although I trusted him to keep us safe, it felt like something sinister was at play and it's something I'm not sure I wanted any part of.

Brutus takes charge and we look to him for our next move. He motions half of us to move to the right, other half to the left and within seconds he screams to run… the veins in his neck popping out.

Cato gives me a small push forward and I can't help feeling overwhelmingly grateful that he is here. If he wasn't I'm sure I would still be frozen against the wall being shot at or left to fend for myself.

There is no adrenaline like there was when we first launched in the games, no persuasion or encouragement. At least in the games I was fighting for my life, for Prim, and it felt semi-honorable. Here there's only the sickening smell of blood and the terror in the voices I hear echoing through the walls.

Who's the bad guy here? It sure the hell wasn't District 2 or any other District for that matter and yet here we are, burning it to the ground. I'm sure 2 would say we were the enemy in this situation and they wouldn't be wrong.

I break out into a run with the others, flinching each time I hear a bomb but for my survival I'm trying to keep my feet moving. The fence that secured the borders of this District are on the ground, the wire sticking from the posts tattered and shredded. As we cross through this last obstacle, I hear someone yell, "Where's the Justice Building?" I'm surprised at how much soot is in the air, just like after a mining accident in District Twelve, and it seems to be getting closer to us.

Cato's eyes stay trained straight ahead but manages to answer. "Not much further, just ahead."

Not much further actually puts us right in the middle of the biggest firefight I've ever seen. I can hear guns continuously firing on both sides, grenades echoing into the buildings just before bricks explode into shrapnel. If I were hit by any one of these objects I would be dead in seconds. I have no idea how we're going to get out or even around this disaster, keeping my attention on my team as I assess this impossible situation. No way out….

While I'm running scenario after scenario around in my mind I see a gun trained on me and just as I accept that this is going to be it, Cato rips me away, throwing me roughly onto the ground and himself on top of me, the entire wall around us erupts into pieces. I can't cage the screams coming from me and he just holds me tighter until the firing ceases. My lungs are burning, ears ringing but Cato brings his hands to my face making me look right at him and mouths, "You okay?"

'Am I okay?' I think. I've long forgotten about the others and am only vaguely aware of Cato because all around me there is fighting…and death. It just keeps coming and coming; the sky is almost completely gray and I feel suffocated by it. I do feel a sharp sting on my shoulder, I realize I've been shot and can only stare at it for a minute.

"It only grazed you, it's a clean shot." Cato says, staying disturbingly calm. Blood drips from his forehead and I try to remember him getting hit at any time during our running. The blast maybe? None comes to mind.

"I'm fine." He picks me up off the ground and we continue moving, now through the deserted side streets and causeways. Aware that we are moving closer to the epicenter of the city, we continue to run into unfriendly fire but with a newly acquired gun in hand, Cato blazes a way through. Even though I feel absolutely nauseous by the time I see the building in the center of the District, we press onward. Such an unassuming area I notate, very similar to District 12's city center where we have our Reapings and gatherings but this place is completely abandoned and flush with fire.

And this is where the real fighting is happening. Tanks and other vehicle like weapons clash, and it's almost too much for me to take in. I've never seen such mass destruction in one small area.

"Run!" He yells as he motions towards the left, and we fluidly begin to move in and out of the rubble, avoiding any unnecessary gunfire.

We make it through a wave of hand to hand fighting taking out soldiers as we go and circle around a tank with a large '13' painted on it.

I'm sure that if I could think rationally I would realize how pointless going to the Justice Building was right now, but I'm not rational, I'm a mindless zombie following my directives and I feel like I have a mission to accomplish and this is it. Cato must feel the same way because soon we're running towards the great marble steps and onward to the final destination.

Out the corner of my eye a head of shaggy blonde hair, coated in a layer of blackness, rushing towards the same steps and I smile thankfully… Peeta and our reinforcements are reunited with us. Next to him is Clove, throwing knives at any opponent that dared shoot at her and Peeta. She was as deadly as they come and I found myself feeling thankful to have her not only on my side at this moment, but protecting my friend as well.

Time seems to slow as I see out of the corner of my eye the gun pointed directly at the back of Peeta's' head and Clove was too busy fighting to realize it. I feel my heart stop and without another moment of thought I notched my arrow and let it release. The man stalls for just a second and then he falls over the eve of the building, the arrow sticking straight through chest. I breathe out as he lands inches from Peeta's' feet and both he and Clove jump. Peeta manages to still take down the one he was fighting, knocking him out but not killing it looks like.

I turn quickly to grab for Cato and don't bother giving another thought before breaking out into a full sprint to the building. I grip onto his hand unashamedly, squeezing it whenever there is an explosion. I don't remember running through the doors or even up the flights of stairs inside, but I do notice that the air suddenly feels far less heavy, realizing I was surrounded by my comrades in arms.

We actually made it. There they were….Peeta and Clove, Marrisa and Marvel. These are the only ones I immediately see, I start to look around the group hoping that's not all that made it through the city. I see that Marissa's red hair is singed to her shoulders, a long bloody scratch across Marvel's face but everyone seems to be okay….Where is everyone else? I start to panic when I don't see Azora, Glimmer or Thresh. Please be okay…. Please be okay.

The explosions send small shockwaves through the building, but sound more like thunderclaps inside. In the hallways above us I hear voices are talking, low and authoritative… almost robotic with not even a hint of humanity in them. I wince at the notion that these are the Commanders I came with, whom I risked my life for.

"Affirmative, do it now."

The slight click of a button fills the empty space and then the hallowing explosion that triggers an unconscious scream from my lips. The building rattles and lights begin to fall, parts of the ceiling and walls begin to collapse around us and for a moment I fear the entire Justice Building will collapse, trapping us inside. Around me I can hear frantic yelling and running, the sound this entire place imploding around us. I feel something smack the back of my head and the black dots dance on my vision as I slowly sink to the ground, the roaring wave of concrete and metal shaking the world around me and as I close my eyes one last time, I can hear Cato screaming my name.

* * *

><p>I breathe in, not sure if I'm actually alive… all I can smell is burnt flesh and anesthetic. What the hell just happened?<p>

I try to stir, eyes still closed, but my body feels heavy. My arms, legs, betray me and all I feel is dirty, sticky sweat covering me, making my skin crawl.

I flutter my eyes open , not sure that I'm ready to accept what just happened and as I try to raise my head up, I feel an instant shock of pain across my head and face.

Damnit! This is useless! I shift around until I can at least roll over.

Assessing my surroundings I can see I'm in some sort of medical tent, though only a thin curtain separates me from the horror of everything else still flaps in the wind so I catch flashes of patients and staff.

I close my eyes again and remember the explosions, the last moments in the collapsing building and my friends. That couldn't have happened I think, but the screams and groans from behind my curtain are quite real and all I can do is hurt.

It was real. And you will spend the rest of your life remembering it.

And it feels wrong to be here, in my own secluded corner, so I start ripping out the needles in my arm and bandages out of my way. Doing so, I notice the new stitches in my arm where the bullet grazed me. Since I'm not dead I assume that we were successful in our mission and I get to live another day or at least until I'm useful again.

Knowing that I needed to get out of this room, this hospital quickly, I try and swing my body off of this bed but my legs are achy and stiff. The ground is bare dirt, I notice, as my feet touch down…. What the hell kind of place is this?

Wait… Where is my Team? I was with Peeta, Clove, Marissa…. Oh my god, Cato?

My eyes circle wildly. I remember him being there when the loud explosion went off. He had to be okay, right? Cato..

I take another step towards the door, finding my legs useful. I sink to the ground and try to balance on my knees. All my worries disappear when I hear a light snore. In any other situation I might laugh at the fact that he snores. Seeing him there, sleeping on the floor next to the cot I'd just occupied. I feel my breath leave me and grasp at his shirt as I try to ascertain if he's real and not a projection of my heartbreak. He doesn't open his eyes as I run my fingers through his hair, and I don't care that I am covered in blood and dirt, right now I just need to know he's okay.

I fall on top of his chest, wrapping my arms around him not able to hold my sobs in any longer. He doesn't move but I can feel his breathing and I do laugh this time, it's the most beautiful thing I've ever felt.

"You're awake." He whispers tiredly.

Sunlight illuminated his skin, and I see it's just going down and the light slowly fading. I might have enjoyed the perfection of this sunset if it wasn't for all the horror and death hovering over this whole camp. He was beautiful and alive and of that, I was absolutely thankful.

I look back at him and bury my face into his chest so he doesn't see the tears flowing. Minus the small bandage around his forehead he seems alright.

"Are you okay?"

His arm wraps around my waist and pulls me closer, are bodies pressed together as he places a soft kiss on my forehead and his fingers comb out my hair.

"Almost lost you there." I could feel his breath hitch with his words, concerned.

"The others?" I ask, trying to avoid the tension building in my chest.

He exhales deeply and says, "Injured, but alive. We were lucky this time."

I'm not sure what translates to injured? He thought my bullet wound was just a scratch. I figure these questions can wait; we had more pressing things to worry about.

He tells me what he remembers of our extraction, how District Two is almost leveled as Twelve was, maybe even worse. But it's part of the rebellion plan now, and maybe in time it can heal, as we have.

* * *

><p><strong>Kicking myself for the wait, school and writers block are a horrible combination! So I do apologize.<strong>

**Thank you so much to everybody who reviewed and of course my beta MsCassity!**

**SIDE NOTE: I have another story about to come up, Lux in Tenebris: Outtakes. Just one shots in other peoples POV, no order just little stories.**

**The first (And only one so far) is about Clove meeting the Mellark family. That might be on tonight or tomorrow, there is also the potential of Glimmer and Rue when they were at the cornucopia. Suggestions welcome on that one.**

**Alright then, thank you!**


	20. Realization

The sun disappears behind the mountains and for just a moment I think I can imagine what it would be like to grow up here. Certainly it's much more beautiful than District 12, though there are no forests around for me to find escape and the serenity when I hunted as I did back home.

Cato and I hold onto each other tightly as we exit the makeshift hospital. When we walked through the flaps that lead back into the city, I tried to hold the gasp in the back of my throat when I see what's actually left of this former District. While not completely flattened, there is still smoke rising from every crevice and corner, bodies scattered about. It's smoldering, in ruins, just like everything else the Capitol touches, only this was our doing. This destruction and blood was on our hands and I feel sick. The smell alone has vomit rising up in my throat. I look to Cato in my peripheral vision and see he is stoic, not that I expected much different from him, but I know when I first say my home in ruins I wasn't able to hold back my feelings and by his demeanor now, he could care less. I wonder if that's true or if he's just holding back for us?

"Come on. We're getting new roommates and then you're going to meet my family." Cato says after a minute of absorbing his wrecked home.

"Your family?"

"They're alive. Called my mom earlier today, from the hospital, told her we were coming."

His voice is distant, I'm not sure he'd hear me if I actually wanted a question answered. I'm not sure if he's really here at all. Then I remember, "Roommates?"

He gives a small smile, still looking straight ahead, "Space is limited, any empty houses- even some occupied ones are turning into shelters for the displaced and Rebellion friendlies. Marrisa and Thresh and you, of course, are coming with me to my home. Everybody else is going to Clove's place."

With exhaustion starting to take over, I walk mindlessly alongside Cato as we continue on to other quarters, further down the hospital lines. Without any conscious effort, I take Cato's hand into mine. Although I should be worried about what people think, I don't; the significant people in our lives have probably figured it out by now anyway. Whatever "it" is at this point anyway.

At the very end we find of a long line of makeshift tents we find Marrisa, who for all intents and purposes is dead to the world. She's curled up in a corner of the tent, sleeping quietly. I can see that she's wearing a nurse's uniform and is covered from head to toe in blood. God, she must have volunteered to help the injured and worked through the night, into the day, and I find that I admire her courage as I see her like this. Thresh is also there, legs stretched out and arms crossed, on a cot that's much too small for him. He's in mid yawn as we come inside.

"Ready?" He asks Cato.

He nods towards Marissa and motions for me to head back out the door. Thresh wakes Marrisa up who seems alert in seconds.

As the sun begins to set on our camp, they turn on flood lights so the doctors and nurses can continue their work and all I can hear over the cracks and breaks of the buildings still falling into ruin is the agonizing screams of the injured. Their wails fill my ears, their desperation and fear begins to bleed into me. I grab Cato's hand again, looking up into his eyes and he must see what I am trying to convey since we pick up our pace towards what looks like our way out of the city.

A car is parked on one of the less damaged roads and I'm surprised when Cato actually gets behind the wheel. The first time I ever rode in a car was right after the reaping. Obviously I was distracted at the time and not exactly watching the driver, but it didn't seem like a normal thing for kids to be doing this type of thing.

I slide into the front seat with him, watching everything he does with an unexpressed curiosity.

He seems to know what he's doing, clearly, as the vehicle starts up and we find ourselves moving hastily outside of the charred city. He takes a route paved and well-kept and although there are lights in the distance we continue past those and remain on our current path.

Cars and spaced living areas are probably just another perk of District Two, something they were accustomed to, and I wonder why everything in 12 had to be squished together? Why were we forced to fight for our food, for our way of life, with the scraps we had and here in Two they have all the amenities they could ever need and more? What made them so much better than us? Trying not to take my bitterness out on Cato I stare out the window to my right and watch the scenery as best I can in the disappearing light. Trying to ignore the fact that behind me, there is only destruction and death and there truly wasn't anything else I could do about it. I'm not sure if he's just in tune to my emotions or if I sighed out loud, but he glances over to me with the slightest of smiles and takes my left hand in his as he drives.

Through this country side scenery I've noticed that most homes have at least two stories, elegant and well-manicured lawns and expensive looking cars. What seems the most out of place to me is the fact that it is almost untouched by the battle. I wonder why the war didn't touch this far out?

"Home?" I ask him, my voice seeming louder in the silence of the car.

"Home." He confirms, pulling in and shutting off the engine. Marrisa and Thresh startle awake, having been asleep most of the trip.

Groggily, we all stumble out of the car, as I tried to hide my nervousness behind my tiredness. I'm about to meet Cato's family, the people he only mentioned back in the arena. All I can remember is that I compared his mother to Mrs. Mellark and that's not someone you'd ever aspire to be. I have a hard time containing my feelings around people like that, bullies I mean.

I try to blend myself back into cadence with Marissa and Thresh, not really trying to stand out as someone significant enough to stride in step with Cato. The last thing I need is a confrontation with his family over something I'm not even sure exists yet.

He hops up the steps and I try to imagine what he must have been like growing up here, waking up every morning and coming out into this yard. I know he didn't have an easy life but seeing the size of this home, the perfect lush lawn and the acres of forest on each side of this mansion my pity will only go so far. He pushes the front door open and holds it until Marrisa Thresh and I go through. Immediately a heavy scent of spice and candles hits me, not at all what I would imagine Cato's house to smell like.

I look around the household and take in the grandeur. The entry way opened up into a grand staircase lit only by a sparkling chandelier. From the first turn I could see fully decorated walls with paintings and primitive weapons, the occasional sculpture around the corners of the den, a kitchen that seems to have every type of appliance needed and then some and hallway after hallway filled with books.

In one corner is a majestic robe of some sort, embellished with glimmering jewels and laced with golden embroidery. From around the last turn before their enormous living room rang a chiming bell, which I saw came from a Grandfather Clock. Something I had only ever read about. Trying not to be disgusted and impressed at the same time, I followed them into the entrance and there sat his family. They looked up at us before standing at attention, not exactly welcoming, but cordial. I expected nothing less.

The lofty male, whom I can only assume is Cato's father, extended his hand to us first. His hair is much darker, and cut shorter than Cato's. His face is stern, wrinkles settled into his forehead. His eyes are just as blue but not nearly as alive as Cato's.

He simply said, "Welcome." and headed towards the staircase, disappearing into the den.

From the other side of the room leapt Lani, Cato's sister, who shoots across the room and jumps into his open arms. Her eyes almost seem violet and for a moment I wonder if it's just the light in the room as I've never heard of such a thing. Her hair is the same shade as Cato and reaches almost down to her back. She's stunning for her age I ascertain as I also take notice of the stoic boy in the corner who almost begs for his brothers' attention. He definitely inherited his father's hair color but his dark auburn locks seem to curl at the ends a bit and that also seems peculiar to me. What a stunning family, not one of them less perfect than the other.

The last person stands from her seat on the couch and I find myself corrected. The only way to describe this flawless creature standing before me is undeniably stunning. From head to toe, I can't help but stare at her in awe. Her hair is like spun gold, long and pulled back but shining in the crystal lighting. You can see the sapphire of her eyes from across the room. Her lips are painted in a crimson red that makes her alabaster skin shimmer, her slender figure wrapped in a silken amethyst dress that clings to her gracefully. It's impossible that evil looks this remarkable, he must have been mistaken. I have to readjust my stance to not appear as though I'm gawking rudely at her, but I'm sure she gets this all the time.

"You all must be exhausted." She says.

I know without looking Marrisa must be nodding.

"This way then." She points her hands towards the rooms down each hallway and points for us to continue. I look back to see which way Cato was heading and he gives a small smile before motioning for me to keep walking. He's got a lot to catch up with I assume. I give him my own tired grin before following his mother up the stairs and down the hall.

My overwhelming exhaustion has finally come to precipice I can no longer ignore so I just strip out of my military jacket that somebody gave me in the hospital and crawl under the covers. I'm past the point of graciousness and I'm glad to see that Marissa couldn't care less what we were sleeping in or on at this point either. Thank goodness for people like her in my life, she's been through so much today and can still sleep without a care in the world. Placing my head on the lightest pillow I can find on the bed, letting the unconsciousness over-take me.

* * *

><p>Before I open my eyes fully I know it's still dark, dawn coming in perhaps a few hours and whatever lights were on before are out now. The pitch blackness is both eerie and calm.<p>

Despite only a few hours of sleep I feel rested. Perhaps it was just the stress of yesterday that made it harder to lay back down, that and the fact that I killed somebody lay heavy on my mind still. I tighten my eyes, refusing to think of that right now.

It's tempting to go to sleep now, but somehow I doubt there will be any point. In frustration I undo my braid, running a hand through my hair. It feels greasy now, and tangled. I put it back in a ponytail and lick my lips. My mouth is cottony and parched which leaves me in a panicky state, I have an uncomfortable memory of my dehydration in the arena.

Water. I want water.

I slip out of bed, Marrisa not stirring as I tiptoe down to find what I remember to be the kitchen. I wonder if they would be upset by me doing this, moving about their house in the middle of the night, or morning. Doesn't matter, I'm delirious and past the point of courtesies.

Even though I am a nimble hunter, I'm no match for this home. Several times I find my arms smacking into walls or stub my toe on any name of unknown articles sporadically littered around the home. I wonder if my hearing was damaged yesterday in the firefight, there's no way I was this clumsy in the woods. I wouldn't have found a single animal for miles!

Eventually I make it into the kitchen, where by the all that is good, I find a nightlight left on for me to adapt my sight to. In this sea of contraptions I wouldn't even begin to know how to operate I find the sink where I assume I can still get clear water from. Why do they make this so damn hard? The first cabinet I open is full of bowls, the next full of plates, and the third with cups. I take a simple mug and hold it under the faucet for a minute and then take a sip. It feels perfect and clean, I lick my moist lips so grateful for the hydration. I down the rest of my glass before putting it into the empty sink.

I'm about to tiptoe back upstairs as best I can and hopefully find my room again, when a voice stops me. I know who it is but wonder again how I didn't feel her presence in the room with me before now? Such an odd feeling, being taken completely by surprise.

"Well, you're certainly up early now aren't you?"

I turn on my heels to face her, trying to bolster any courage capable at this hour and say,

"I was just going back to bed, ma'am."

"Sit" She motions for me to take a seat near her at the countertop, "We didn't have time to talk earlier. You looked so dreadfully tired."

"What would you want to talk to me about?" I ask, dreading the coming conversation.

She shrugs, pretending not to care but her acting isn't as good as I'm used to, "I don't know. You being in the Hunger Games, District Twelve, your so called star crossed lovers' fiasco or I suppose we could just cut right to the chase here, Ms. Everdeen, and talk about what is really going on between you and my son."

I feel the blood drain from my face at her words. Did he tell her? Highly doubtful but then that means she must have figured it out on her own somehow and that seems even less likely.

"What about him?" I ask, trying to play it cool.

As I wait for her to reply I take notice of how different she looks in this light, almost predatory. She is looking on at me like she's about to pounce and it puts me on edge. She's not the perfect creature I had seen only a few hours earlier. THIS is the woman Cato had warned me about.

"It's obvious he cares about you."

"He cares about a lot of people."

"No. No not really. He takes after his father. He doesn't have the ability to care." Those last words have a bite to them and I sit back in my chair, keeping an eye to the hallway just in case I need to flee.

I'm still not sure how to respond, and she must realize this or feel it in my demeanor as a wicked smile spreads across her face.

"I will give you the advice that my mother should have had the good sense to give to me. You should leave him now, while you still have the chance. All he has to offer is heartbreak and a life of servitude. That's what his father's given me."

I feel uncomfortable with the sudden turn in conversation. Hell, the second she opened her mouth I felt uncomfortable. She thinks she knows me well enough to give me advice? About her own son none the less?

"And why's that?" I snap back at her, trying to sound as though I have some fight in me.

"Career boys, whether they went into the arena or not, are incapable of love. Only duty and dominance."

She looks out the window, her exquisite face outlined in the moonlight. "You think I married his father for love? Please, she scoffs, I thought I was engaged to a future victor! But he couldn't even make it into the arena. Pathetic. And now I'm stuck in a marriage I didn't want and was forced to have children I didn't need. My son manages to make it into the arena only to leave with nine others. He's worse than his father. A disgrace to this family."

I feel my face heat up at my anger, blood pounding through my ears and even though I know my earlier assumption that her marriage was arranged is undeniably correct, it doesn't excuse her behavior. If this was not her home, I would have taken the first sharp object I found and put it through her jugular for saying something so cruel about Cato. She should be damn proud of him. I sure the hell was!

Breathing in through my nose I try to calm myself back to a point of rationality. I can't afford to make a scene right now. I know she can sense my resentment and she's loving every moment, she's here tonight to start a fight and if I give her a reason, she will throw us all out or worse, turn us into the Capitol for the hefty rewards on all of our heads. I refuse to give her that satisfaction.

"I'll take that under advisement. I'm going back to bed now. Good night."

"As you please, Katniss, but take heed to my words young lady. You will live to regret them if you don't." She sips her drink beside the counter and continues to stare out the window.

I begin to climb the stairs, my mind racing with a thousand different thoughts and spinning me about. They all seem to focus on the one person I can't get out of my mind. The one who rebelled against the Games and destroyed the arena force field with me, the one who suffered hypothermia with me and saved my life, the one who came back for me when he had no obligation to do so, the one who sends electricity from my lips down to my toes every time his lips touch mine.

And I know right then and there what I need to say to him and it can't wait another moment. As I continue to climb this endless staircase his mother's words echo in my mind.

End it now. End it now.

At the top I recognize I don't know where his room is. But I do know where Thresh is staying and I'm sure he'd have heard Cato go to bed. I have to guess on which of the four doors to begin with but I manage to get it right. Thresh's hulking figure under the covers. His breathing hitches when I come in, obviously awake.

"Yes Katniss?" His voice is only half alert in the glazed sleep.

"Thresh, which one is Cato's room?" He pauses and for a moment I wonder if he went back to sleep.

"Right across from here." He says, his voice a bit more awake now.

"Thank you." I close the door as quietly as possible.

So Cato's room was right next to the one I was in? Figures…

I twist the knob gently and tiptoe inside, shutting the door behind me. One bed, one person. I slide as quietly as I can across the floor, getting a look at the person in the bed. Cato, alright. His blonde hair hanging his face for once instead of gelled back. He looks so peaceful, slightly gentle; I almost don't want to wake him at all.

I whisper his name a few times, until his eyes snap open, completely alert to me.

"Katniss?"

"Mhm." I sit beside him as he sits up to join me. His warm arm wraps around me as a hello and I feel less agitated already.

"Are you okay? Did something happen?" He almost looks concerned.

I shake my head, nervousness twisting my gut into elaborate knots.

I rest my hands on his bare shoulders and massage them for a second. "It's just that, I went downstairs to get something to drink and ran into your mother this morning. I talked to her."

Something comes over his face, fear, if I had to put a name on it, and before he has a chance to barrage me with questions I continue to explain.

"And it really got me thinking, and I just wanted to say..." I bite my lip to cradle back my emotions.. I have to say it. He needs to know, I owe him that.

He grabs my chin, so gentle and tender, his eyes meet mine begging me to say something and I feel that electricity encompass my whole body solely from eye contact. I feel a single tear roll down my cheek and know in my heart she was wrong. She was so wrong. The words pour from my lips with absolute ease.

"I love you Cato."

* * *

><p><strong>Oh my gosh, I just wanted to say how sorry I was for the LONG wait. I know, I'm terrible. But summer vacation is here! And therefore I am writing like crazy. I'm also getting help with my writers block by writing Lux in Tenebris: Outtakes. It's my other story, up now. The first chapter is Clove meeting the Mellark family. Will post more on that as well so check it out.<strong>

**So again, sorry for the wait, and I'll definitely update faster now.**

**And thank you to MsCassity for fixing the train wreck this chapter was before her mad editing skills!**


	21. Listen to Your Heart

There is a stunned silence for a moment. The words hanging in the air and I wonder if I said the wrong thing.

But it wasn't wrong and I don't regret it.

I meant it. I loved the boy who came back for me and I love the one who pulled me from that flash flood. Who held my hand when everything felt bleak and terrible. Who held me when my very soul began to freeze. I needed him in my life. Maybe I could live without him. But it wouldn't exactly be living. So I don't move, I hold eye contact and allow myself to think of his rejection.

But I was honest and I told him how I felt. He's one of the few people who has that privilege. He has yet to abuse it and for that I am grateful.

His eyes watch me carefully, and when I feel I can take no more of the silence and that I might burst, he grabs my hand and begins to stroke my knuckles.

Slowly he leans in, the hand not covering mine pulls me in for the slowest and most airy light kiss yet.

My heart beat increases and I sigh against his lips, reveling in our skin contact.

"I love you Katniss."

I might wonder if what he said was true, or if he was just saying it to be on my good side. But his words are so sincere, so real that I find myself becoming lightheaded. My thoughts jumble and crash into each other. Only one thought is constant though.

She was wrong. So so wrong.

I push my lips harder against his, our tongues exploring each other's mouths once more.

Yes, this is love.

When I pull away I reveal in the warmth that he radiates. How close to him I feel right now.

I've never felt this close to another human being before. I don't need to tell him everything I'm thinking right then and there. What I fear and what I expect. He just seems to understand it without any push as he pulls the covers aside and I crawl into bed with him. My hands resting over his chest as I am slowly lulled to sleep.

* * *

><p>When I wake up the sun is well on its way to the peak of the sky. My arms and legs are heavy but my mind is as light as air. Beside me is Cato, his body radiating with warmth.<p>

His face is buried in my hair, arms wrapped around me as I lay sprawled out half on him and half on the mattress. I know in this moment that I would love to wake up every morning like this.

The scent of food wafers in from downstairs, my nose twitches and my stomach, which has become much more greedy since leaving District Twelve, rumbles.

I feel his lips twitch before I actually hear the small chuckle. Bastard.

"I'm hungry." I mumble.

"I don't want to get up yet." He mumbles back, his arms tighten around my waist and for a moment I consider giving in. His heartbeat strong where my head rests on his chest. But my hunger can't be put off, with reluctance I pull away.

I'm still in my hospital outfit from yesterday, sweats and an old T-shirt, they don't seem to horrible right now so I assume I can get away with them.

"I'm gonna hop in the shower. Care to join me?"

I smile and give him my most pointed look, though my lips twitch up.

Without breaking eye contact I crawl on top of him. His eyes widening as he watches me. "You. Me. A steamy shower. Or," I sniff for dramatic effect, "Bacon."

I swing off of him. Trying not to laugh at his expression. Shock, disappointment, and pure revere.

I strike out into the hallway, the scent of food in the midst of being prepared has me taking tentative steps down. I somehow doubt it's Cato's mom doing the cooking.

I'm correct. I nod to Thresh who sits on a plush couch, watching the news. It's rebellion based, Beetee must have hacked the system once more. It shows some footage of yesterday's battle, the explosion that followed. It's the first time I see it from a different perspective. While it doesn't seem nearly as significant as it felt, half the Justice Building lying in a pile of rubble sends shivers up and down my spine.

I go into the kitchen, much more lively then my trip the night before, where Marrisa and an older women are cooking together.

Jet, Cato's younger brother, notices my presence first but doesn't say a word. I don't think I've ever seen him speak. He glances at me before turning his attention back to serving his own food.

Marrisa notices me and winks, from everything that happened last night I guess it didn't occur to me what she would think when I didn't go back to our room.

"Katniss, this is Vivian. She's the family nanny. She takes care of the kids whenever Cato's parents go to work." I can't imagine why they would go to work the day after such a disaster, but it's their lives.

Vivian takes notice of me. Her hair is almost completely grey and she's got a healthy amount of weight on her. More than I would ever expect to see in a District. But I have to constantly remind myself this isn't Twelve.

She smiles, it's soft and kind and much to my surprise she pulls me into a hug.

"Now I remember you! You saved you're little sister at that reaping. She all right?"

"She's fine." I tell her.

"Well come now, get some food in you. There's skinny and then there's sickly."

Marrisa shoots me a look over Vivian's back. Though what she's just said leaves me frustrated, that I choose to be so thin, Marrisa's look tells me that she doesn't know any better.

I'm not sure what District Five is like, I assume it's better of then Twelve, but it's nowhere as great as Two.

Wordlessly I gather up a plate. Bacon, eggs, fruit, sausage, some toast. I pour myself a glass of orange juice before taking a seat at the table.

I dig in almost instantly, my eyes trained on the TV. Occasionally I see flashes of familiar faces. Glimmer covering her head and running full speed into what must be considered a safety zone. Azora, her head bleeding rapidly, climbing into a truck and being carted off to the medics.

I even see Cato and I running, my face looking only slightly terrorized. His lips are moving and I'm nodding, are hands clasped tightly. Let Panem interpret that however they'd like.

"You eat a lot. For a girl I mean."

Slowly I turn from the screen, realizing it was Jet speaking to me. He's also seen the images I've seen.

I glance down at my plate, my sausage and toast gone.

"My mom only has fruit in the mornings." He mumbles, like because that's all she eats it's all I should eat.

"I've learned to eat when I can." Is all I say, it's the truth anyway.

The light padding of feet from the stairs tells me Lani must be up. She comes stumbling down the stairs, her nightgown tussled as she rubs the sleep out of her eyes. They seem less violet now and more indigo.

A plate is already made for her, she takes it before settling down beside me. Marrisa also finishes up with preparing the food and joins us. She tosses me a square crusty piece of bread.

"What's this?" I ask.

She looks at me and I realize this is just my District Twelve heritage kicking in. "It's called a waffle. Try it there good. But put some syrup on it."

I follow her example before giving it a taste. The syrups contrast with the bread leaves me drooling.

I wonder if Peeta knows about this unworldly creation?

Heavier footsteps come down the staircase and I manage to pull away from my food. He smiles at me but before he can say anything Vivian is upon him.

"Oh boy I just missed you! You did good though. We watched the Hunger Games every night. You are a brilliant leader. Would have won for sure."

I guess it doesn't take too much digging to figure out where he gets his ego.

He eventually gets away from Vivian and serves himself a plate, sitting next to me in the most casual way possible.

I feel his eyes on me, the intense gaze that sends shivers down my spine. Is it wrong that I enjoy it so much?

At some point I'm sure it does. But on the other hand who knows and who cares?

"Do you want to see the barn?" A light voice asks.

It takes a moment to realize the voice is directed to me.

"Huh?" Is all I manage to ask around my confusion and sleep deprived mind.

"The barn. Both of you should come look at it." Lani says, motioning to both Marrisa and I.

I know very little about barns. There was once one on the outskirts of District Twelve. But do you honestly think starving people will just sit and watch animals graze in a comfortable shelter all day long?

Needless to say that was a failed venture.

The barn in District Twelve is a wasteland. Some town kids go there if they have enough money for some booze. Otherwise it's just a pile of rotting wood filled with remnants of animal waste.

So I can't help but be a bit curious at what a real barn would look like. At least one that Cato would grow up with. I nod, glance once at Cato who watches me make my decision, and then hop out of my chair and follow the girl into the back yard. Marrisa is almost completely silent behind me.

We follow her, she makes a few twirls, her hair waving in the air. I will never understand children.

She leads us out into the fields, it's the first time I've actually gotten a good look at Two. It really is in the middle of the country, extending with miles upon miles of green.

Then the barn, which is far more majestic then the one in Twelve, resides on the outskirts of the property, surrounded by a wooden fence.

"Who uses it?" I ask her.

"We all ride horses. Dad likes fresh milk in the mornings. And it saves time getting eggs back here instead of the markets."

She twists one of the locks, a simple deadbolt, and slides the doors open. the scent of animals hits me instantly. But they are unlike any I've ever seen before. Because for heaven's sake even District Two's animals are better fed. In most animals back home I see ribs through patches of missing fur. Missing toes or cuts. Sometimes even bite marks (from the truly desperate and fast) but these animals are strong muscled creatures with beautiful coats.

"Come on!" Lani whines, dragging us further in.

"This is Hunter. He's in charge here." She giggles, the biggest horse in the place leans down and lets her wrap her arms around him.

But it's not the mammoth horse that catches my attention. It's the post beside him, with what look like claw marks.

Lani catches my stare.

She stands in front of it proudly. "I grew two inches."

"Well that's very impressive." Marrisa smiles gently. I wonder if she has any siblings?

"Grew what?" I can't help but ask.

A look of understanding dawns on the redhead. The same look falls onto her face as breakfast. I guess this is one of my 'District Twelve moments'

"There measurements. For how much children grow. See the dates? Lani grew two inches from last year- oh and look. There's Cato's."

Sure enough his name is there, the tallest marks. I try to imagine him standing there, letting somebody measure his height.

It's a strange- but not entirely unpleasant thought.

I allow myself to slip past the walls I've built inside of me, only for a moment of course. I try to imagine what it would be like to have children. One of the most taboo subjects in my life. But if this rebellion succeeds maybe...

And if it doesn't I'll die trying. I see this as a real possibility.

But if it didn't... If by some miracle we win... Would I want children someday?

I love Cato, but by no means do I want to start a family now. But in general, did I want a family of my own? And the simple answer was yes.

In a perfect world I would.

But this isn't a perfect world.

I rebuild the walls, twice as thick, and push the subject of the future as far away as possible.

I hear voices come outside, loud voices. Laughter.

Its soothing.

People enter the barn, it takes a moment for my eyes to adjust, as they are standing in front of the sun, but there everybody is.

I smile, and just a month ago my goal was to leave all of them dead in an arena.

"Ahh! Katniss! Marissa! You'll never guess what I found." Glimmer exclaims, despite the bandage wrapped around her forehead and the sling on her left arm. She rushes over, digging into her pockets and balancing two vials in the palm of her free hand.

"Rue let me do her nails, now it's your turns. We're having a girls night as soon as possible. I found the perfect green for you Foxy. Katniss, I couldn't decide between cherry red and berry plumb for you. I settled on this one." She drops the green back into her pocket before thrusting a bottle into my face.

"It's called 'Nighty Nightlock' deadly in wildlife. But it makes the most beautiful shade."

She shoves it back into her coat pocket, at this point Clove stocks over. Her arms crossed and a scowl on her face. Azora behind her, a yawn on her lips.

Out of the corner of my eyes I see the boys in some sort of circle as well, talking about... whatever.

Lani climbs to the second story of the barn. For a moment I worry she'll fall but have to remind myself this is her territory.

"Peeta met my dad last night... They got along." Clove groans.

"Is there something wrong with that?" Marrisa asks.

Glimmer giggles, though she must be more injured then I'd originally thought because it ends with a small coughing fit.

"You know what they say, every girl marries her father."

Clove drops her head into her hands. "That is so wrong. But really, they talked business and politics all night. And my mom curled my hair and god damn." She shakes her head out. "I thought they'd hate him. But they love him. I guess that's a good thing. I just thought I'd have fun sneaking around for a while."

I'm surprised how much she's saying. But I guess it's just us. And really who am I going to tell?

Azora, who is always the quietest amongst us, sighs. "What I wouldn't give for a little romance." Glimmers eyes shoot in her direction, and a not so subtle glance in Marvel's direction. I can almost see the wheels turning.

The two did go together in the arena when we blew the force field up. It would make sense if Glimmer was jealous...-

Am I actually participating in gossip and girl talk?

I never did this sort of thing in school. It was Gale and me after school and Madge and I in school. I wince. I really have to visit her.

But it's the idea of this circle of- what I'm assuming I can call friends, that I mumble: "I told Cato I loved him last night."

While the boys continue to talk and laugh with one another it falls deadly silent with us. Even Clove stares at me.

I regret saying it instantly.

And then I hear a hiss, like with a teapot that grows louder and louder until it can't be denied.

"Glimmer has her hands clasped as she jumps up and down on the balls of her feet.

"I'm so proud of you! Don't tell us anything! Save it for girl night. Which we are definitely having now. I swear. Oh my gosh this is so exciting."

"Did he say it back?" Azora asks.

I give a numb nod.

More squeals.

"Details Everdeen Details!" Glimmer groans.

It's the curious glances from the boys that keeps my lips sealed.

"On girls night." I say.

And with a sly glance from Marrisa, which comments on my absence last night, my face manages to put tomatoes to shame.

* * *

><p><strong>Bad bad bad bad bad author.<strong>

**Please don't take that out on all your Catoniss feelings!  
><strong>

**I'm not sure where my beta went but I wish her good health. I apologize to you guys.  
><strong>

**And may the games begin again.  
><strong>


	22. Premiere

When I first wake up I don't immediately recognize where I am. Sixteen years of waking up in the same room in the same bed is probably to blame. The soft breathing across the room brings me back to reality. Two small little bodies, both rolled into the warmth of the bed they choose to share.

I was right about Rue when we first met, she was just like Prim. The two were best friends, inseparable and joined at the hip. Rue was no longer on high alert, she still jumped at even the smallest noises, just as I did, but was getting better at being around people.

I watched them for a moment, a feeling of gratitude settling into my bones. I'd lost my home and I'd almost lost my sister. Who knew volunteering for what I assumed was certain death would grant me so much instead?

It still didn't feel real but then again how could it? I shudder to think what would happen if just one little thing prevented the rebellion from starting when it did. If the Games would continue, who else would I lose? All of them and myself included as one of them went on to become our victor. Probably Cato. That or Thresh . Impossible to tell. Hell, it could have been me.

I stop thinking of these things, instead I take a glance at the clock beside me. The blaring red lights read just after six.

I know what I have to do, what I've put off for some time now. Slipping out of bed and maneuvering around the room, I manage to find some clean clothes and a new hair tie. In the bathroom I wash up quickly and change, doing everything on autopilot.

When I think I must look presentable I slip out of the apartment, shutting the door carefully. I double checked last night, just a few hours after we got back from Two, my mother was not scheduled to work today.

The halls are dim, only the nightshift workers going home for the night are in the hallways. I walk casually, trying to remember the way to the hospital.

It takes me a while, going down wrong corridors, up the wrong floors. By the time I get there its nearing seven and the doctors and nurses are switching shifts. Damn… I'd really hoped to catch a tired nurse for help.

Resigned to the fact that I was stuck with the woman behind the desk, I take a deep breath and hope for the best.

I tap on the desk and she looks at me, surprised and annoyed by my intrusion.

"I'm looking for Madge Undersee."

A quirk of an eyebrow from her. "I'm sorry, it's not visiting hours right now."

I'm about to argue with her, come up with any possible argument that I can, something tells me she knows this as she sits up further and seems to get ready for me. The sound of glass breaking in the other room catches both of us off guard.

She hesitates, unsure about leaving me alone here.

A voice calls out from the back, "Vin? Give me a hand back here."

I roll my eyes and act as if I'm walking away. I feel her eyes following me, only disappearing when I round the corner.

"You're so clumsy! That's what, the third?" She calls back to the cup dropper.

I peak around, with the coast clear I slip back and behind the desk. I have no idea what exactly I'm looking for. A list of names and room numbers would be nice.

There is virtually no paper on her desk. Only screens which I couldn't work to save my life.

Biting my lip I take a chance and touch one of the screens. It lights up as a page full of words appears.

I do this with the next screen and the next, relieved to see the first turn off after a while. It's the fourth, a long list of names and numbers as well as conditions.

In the other room I hear them laughing, getting the mess cleaned up. They'll be done soon which makes me all the more anxious.

I figure out how to scroll through the list, all the way down to the 'U' section. Undersee, Madge. Room 108, Condition: stable.

I quickly scroll to the top and asses the desk for any other sign of my intrusion. Satisfied that she won't notice my disturbance, I slip away in what I hope is the direction of room 108.

I wander down the halls, hiding whenever I think I might get caught. Sometimes I might be around 160, other times 205. 108 is my ultimate goal. It's not until I reach 120 and then 119 that I feel the first semblance of dread sink into my stomach. She gave me her Mockingjay pin. Somehow that's the only thought that stays in my head as I get closer to her door.

I glance at the number just to be sure. No doubt in my mind that this is her, I push the door as quietly as I can.

The T.V is on, the only source of light in the room.

I briefly look for a lock on the door, none. Pushing further into the room takes force. I'm not sure what I expect, my mother said she'd been burned and that her family died. She lived because she was in the Seam at the time of the bombings. Let me get specific here, she'd been at the Hawthorne's at the time. I'm still not sure what to make of that.

Maybe I expect to see her there, tiny and fragile and burnt to a crisp.

She's not. I release the breath I hadn't realized I was holding.

Her face is cut and scarred, her hair shorter and her arms wrapped up. Other than that she seems perfectly alright.

She's propped up on a pile of pillows to get better access to the T.V. As I get closer I realize that it's playing a broadcast, probably by Thirteen, that recaps the takeover on Two.

I quickly look away. I've seen that show already.

"Madge." I hiss, I don't want to shake her and can only hope she wasn't put on a sedative.

"Madge." I hiss louder, her eyes scrunch together and I take this to be a good sign.

Only a few more times I have to say her name when she finally yawns and slowly opens her eyes. It takes a moment to make the transition to consciousness. When she does though she sits up further as her eyes flash towards me.

"Katniss!"

I smile, surprised by her sudden joy. I guess I never really saw her with anything other than a quite tiredness.

She smiles and points to the T.V, "You guys have been on it… Well all of the time I guess."

I shrug my shoulders, "I guess we have been."

We both seem to enter the same place we had every lunch break at school. The silence has always been comfortable to Madge and I.

She shakes her finger at the screen and I watch on instinct. Sure enough, Cato and I's hands locked as we run. The same image I saw at his house. She doesn't say anything more on the subject and I don't bother elaborating.

I ask her later how she feels, she tells me fine. It's about just about nine when I tell her goodbye and leave on a promise to visit soon.

* * *

><p>I go to the cafeteria after my visit my Madge. The morning rush disappeared, most adults off to work and teenagers and kids off to school.<p>

I'm looking through whatever's left when I spot a head of blond hair moving frantically around the back.

Sae doesn't do breakfast, mostly lunch sometimes dinner, so I don't know the names of any of the people serving the food.

Still, I can't help my curiosity.

"Is that Peeta Mellark?"

I ask one of the women cleaning the sneeze guard. She shrugs her shoulders and continues cleaning but one of the men behind the counter heard me well enough.

"Sure is."

"Peeta!" I call out, the head stops moving as he peaks out from behind a stack of bread trays.

"Katniss! Good to see you. Short notice but would you mind coming to take a look at this? My dad can't get here until noon and neither one of my brothers is willing to help. Glimmer's to busy helping Cinna… Just come back here would you?"

I'm at a loss of words. I've just never seen him so frantic.

The same man who confirmed it was Peeta opens the door to the back for me. I'm not sure what I expected when I did get back there, obviously him baking, but the amount of food around him is staggering.

He seems to be doing a thousand things at once. Constantly running back and forth between an oven or preparing more dough to be baked.

I wait until he seems rational enough. It takes a few minutes but eventually he begins to explain everything.

"I went to bed as soon as we got back yesterday, somebody starts knocking at two or three in the morning. My dad comes into my room, tells me Finnick Odair needs my help. I have no idea what he's talking about. I get up sure enough there's Finnick in the doorway. Says everything went wrong, Annie's not happy. The cake wasn't right, the one they ordered from Thirteen's bakery, they messed up the filling. Supposed to be strawberry not raspberry. He and the baker got in a fight long story short the baker up and quit. Yeah, everything, bread and cake and treats. Anyway he begged me to help. What could I say Katniss? Just finished the cake. Still have to add the details. Does this taste right?"

He shoves some bakery item in my face expectantly. The long black bags under his eyes convince me to take it.

"They're called lemon squares."

I take a bite. It's good and I tell him as much but he doesn't look convinced.

"They're wrong all wrong."

Something beeps and he runs over to check on whatever it was.

"Go look at the cake, tell me what you think!"

I wander around the kitchen, seeing everything he's done so far. He's recreated that food display from Twelve, the one Prim used to admire so often. There are at least a dozen treats whose names I don't even know wrapped in boxes and ready to go.

I pause when I see the center piece of it all.

The cake is beautiful, a masterpiece even. Something only Peeta could create. It's tall, frosted a pale yellow with white polka dots and decorated with lilies. I smile at it, he has no reason to worry. If it leaves even me awestruck it'll be fine for everybody else.

That's when it hits me, he's cramming to finish all of these things so soon…

"When _is _Finnick and Annie's wedding?"

Peeta lays out fresh tray of buns, still steaming and looking especially delicious. "About ten hours from now. We were all invited you know."

I do remember getting invited when I first met the District Four Victors, I guess I just had other things on my mind.

He finally makes his way over and looks at the cake with me. "You think it looks alright?" It's the first time he's spoken to me in a normal tone.

"It's perfect Peeta." He stares at it another moment before slowly nodding.

"It's the best cake I've ever done."

Another beeping sound fills the room and I give him a quick goodbye before going back upfront.

I grab some cereal and some fruit, eat quickly and then head out.

My plan is to head back to my room and go through the mail. I know we must have got an invitation to that wedding, I just have a hard time imagining that today really was the day.

I guess it's confirmed when I get back. My mom is nowhere to be seen, but both Prim and Rue stand there in new dresses, Marrisa smiling at them from the couch.

Rue is dressed in purple, Prim pink. They both asses each other's appearance and seem satisfied.

Marrisa jumps up as soon as I come into the room. She's also dressed up, a strapless number not unlike the one she wore during our interviews right before the Hunger Games, though this one is blue and just a bit longer.

"Cinna said we should try them on. Make sure they would be alright for tonight."

She pulls a bag up from her seat, handing it over to me. "Cinna, Effie and Glimmer have been working on these for a while now."

"Then I'm sure they're good. But look at you two little angels!" I crouch down beside Prim and Rue. "You look lovely." I tell them. They both tug at me, "You have to try yours on now."

Marrisa takes mine out of its bag. I'm not sure what I expect, with Cinna though I'm sure it's perfect.

It is.

A dark blue number with a golden belt and straps that wrap around the neck. I take it from Marrisa and go into the bathroom. I put it on, not really expecting any trouble. Cinna knows my measurements, I'd be shocked if it actually did need to be fixed. Something scratches my ribs. I pull a small note card out from inside, Cinna's immaculate handwriting scribbled across it.

_Made this dress for your Victory Tour. Ironically it's what you were going to wear in Two. –Cinna._

I can't stop the smile that creeps up onto me.

Always betting on me that one.

* * *

><p>The wedding starts at seven. My mom joins us as we leave the apartment, I follow her and Marrisa without much thought. I wear Cinna's dress with my hair curled, though I don't bother trying to figure out the makeup Marrisa brought with her.<p>

We go into a large room decorated for the occasion. Already it's jammed with people. Large men stand at the door and ask for names, they hold lists with all of the invited guests. We all make it in with no trouble. It's finding a seat that's the impossible.

"I said we should get here early." Prim sighs from beside me.

"I've never been to a wedding like this before." Rue says back, awe in her voice.

"Neither have I, but if I ever get married it has to be like this." Prim giggles, she thinks it over for another moment before nodding. "Just like this."

I can't help but give a small laugh. My sister and I are just so different sometimes.

"We better get a seat quickly, it's supposed to start any minute now." Marrisa says, staring off at a group of people behind instruments. I try to spot Cato in the crowd, but with everybody rushing to find their seats it's impossible.

I do spot Gale though. He's standing beside his mom who waves us over. She points out seats for us to take, wither her and my mom together and Prim and Rue right behind them. Marrisa and I snag the seats behind them and settle in as everybody else tries to find better views.

Gale watches me for a moment, eyes dark and trying to convey some message to me.

My redheaded friend notices this and after pondering it to herself for a moment, distracts me with conversation. "Kind of exciting, right?"

I shrug, "If your into weddings I guess."

"You're telling me you don't like weddings?"

"Never really cared for them ." I tell her honestly. I've taught myself to shudder at the thought of marriage and children. Even now with a boyfriend type person involved.

"What if Cato wanted to get married?" She asks.

"I would say no."

"No?"

"No."

She pauses and I take time to observe the room. I scan the crowd but still come up short on the faces I actually want to see.

"I think your lying." Marrisa breaks through my thoughts.

"Lying about what?"

"You would marry him. If there were no Hunger Games, no Capitol. You'd marry him."

"I doubt that." I say dryly.

Damn that knowing smirk she wears.

The band people start to play and people stand up, myself included.

The doors open and Finnick comes through. He looks so nervous and so happy all at the same time. I can't help but wish him luck as he takes his place at the head of the room, beside another man who pats him on the back.

The music changes into a new melody and this time Annie steps through the doors. Gasps are let out and even I have to give her some credit.

She looks lovely in her dress, laced white and held together with a dark green sash. She casts nervous glances up at the guests but walks down the aisle with grace. And Finnick. Finnick only sees her in this crowd of three or four hundred.

Eventually she joins him at the head of the room, taking his hand as we all take our seats.

As a hush settles onto the room the man who gave Finnick the pat on the back clears his throat.

"We are gathered here today," He begins.

* * *

><p>Everything went off without a hitch. The ceremony was beautiful, after that we slowly went into another room, this one for the reception.<p>

Right there, at the front of the room was a table set up and dedicated to the food. The cake in the very center. People flooded around it and commented on its beauty.

Hopefully Peeta hears that.

I filter around the room with Marrisa, most of the kids stay in the other room to play silly games.

Prim and Rue check in on the cake every once in a while, both are anxious to get a piece.

I finally spot Cato. My heart leaps as it usually does upon the sight of him.

He's with Clove and Azora leaning against one of the far walls. Clove's arms are crossed and her face scrunched up as though she smells something bad. Azora plays with her nails, indifferent to her surroundings. I'd thought she'd be busy considering she was from Four. Apparently not.

Wordlessly we make our way over to them.

I love the smile that slowly grows on his face when he sees me. I stare down at my feet as I make my way towards him.

Marrisa giggles and excuses Clove, Azora and herself. They leave, casting sly glances at Cato and I. I can't help but be grateful. The talk in the barn makes it easy for them to leave Cato and I alone but they still feel the need to tease us about it.

The tips of his fingers brush against the back of my hand as I come closer to him.

"I assume you don't want to dance?"

I roll my eyes. "That obvious?"

Snort, "Painfully."

Feeling the need to be bold and a desire to get out of the crowded room, I take his hand and slowly make for the exit. "Let's go someplace quite."

His eyes widen and I can't help but smirk.

He's much bigger and much more intimidating than Marrisa. I guess that's how we get out so much faster, people step aside for him without hesitation.

We go past the doorways were the men with clipboards still stand, past the hallways and down a staircase. I stop him, tugging at his hand. He falters in his steps to look at me. I release his palm, bringing my hands to his face and pulling him down towards me. I place a light kiss on his lips.

He takes it as his invitation, pushing me forward, boxing me into a corner. I can't help but chuckle, a mixture of nervousness on the off chance we might be caught and delight at our time together.

I don't spend enough time with him I think with a pang in the chest.

He kisses everywhere, my lips, my neck, collarbone, chin, shoulder.

A feeling builds up inside of me, not unlike all of the other times we did this. Somehow this is different… somehow I feel ready for more.

"Can we go to your room? I mean if Marvel or Thresh isn't there." I add quickly.

He looks me in the eye and have to force myself to hold contact. His eyes are pure lust.

Somehow, I know I'm not far behind with the same look.

With much more purpose in his step and without getting lost once, we arrive at his apartment.

He unlocks the door as we step inside.

We won't have sex. I tell myself that right there. Maybe just make out some more and then call it a night. I tell this to myself over and over, willing it to be true. Still, this sounds like a lie even in the subconscious of my mind.

He takes his tie off when we get into his room, tying it around the doorknob. I must look as confused as I feel because he shrugs, "It's a guy thing."

I push a lose strand of hair behind my ear, biting my lip and finally taking a seat on his bed. I take my silver flat shoes off. Dropping them onto the floor and bringing my legs up as I crisscross them.

I take a look around. Plain and simple just as the one I share is. Four walls and a bed and dresser with a nightstand to the side. I could probably observe every little fact about the room if his weight suddenly didn't shift the bed as he takes a seat beside me.

I fidget with my nails, chipping them. If my prep team was still alive and around me, I'm sure they would fuss and sigh when they got a look at my bitten down nails.

His shoulder brushes mine as he shifts around, taking off his own shoes.

_Be bold _I tell myself. He makes me want to be bold so often.

I lift my lift my leg and in one well executed motion, move to straddle his lap. I steady myself by reaching out and grabbing his shoulders, he grabs onto my hips.

My hair falls from behind my ear, creating a curtain and isolating us from the war torn world. I don't mind, it makes the world much more quiet and less imposing. He raises an eyebrow and I can practically hear him asking _well what now?_

I resume our actions in the stairway, pressing my lips against his, much harder this time and with much more desperation behind it.

I feel pressure building between my legs, a wetness slowly growing that leaves me blushing and confused and only wanting more.

We continue the kissing, and just when I don't think I can take much more his hands slide up to cup my breasts. It's through the material of my dress but I still can't help but give a small gasp.

He rolls us over so that I'm flat on my back, his body pressing down on top of mine. He gives my ear a nip.

"Tell me to stop and I will Katniss but we're getting close to the point of no return here."

I'm not sure how to respond, what words I could possibly use?

I guess the term here is actions speak louder than words. That and I was a liar when I said I wouldn't have sex with him. I guess I already knew that though.

I sit up just a bit reaching behind me and untying the two straps that held the top of my dress up. He freezes on top of me, staring at the two straps that I don't pull down completely. I leave it up to him to pull them down or not, I guess that's my way of saying yes.

Everything feels serious in the room, I try to relax but as his fingers slowly dance against my skin, taking hold of the straps and dragging them down my skin, I can't help but stay rigid. My chest is exposed to him and he stops undressing me, his mouth falling down and kissing my neck as he did before. Now he drags his lips further down, planting kisses lower and lower until he reaches my nipples. I'm breathing rapidly, holding onto him with my fingers digging into his back. He's my lifeline, the one thing holding me in place.

I yelp when he gives me a light nip, his tongue enveloping me as he massages the other breast with his large hand.

"D-do you have-protection?" I can't bring myself to say 'condom' but he seems to get the idea.

"In the nightstand."

His voice is so much more steady than mine, almost seeming to echo in the room.

My hands are shaking so badly but I manage to tug on his jacket and together we throw it to the ground. My heart beat is going insane, to the point that I feel lightheaded. Each button of his shirt is excruciating. I remember in the cave, how cold I'd been and how impossible it felt to undo buttons back then. I was on fire now but the buttons just as impossible.

Eventually I give up, simply pulling the material apart. I hear the rip, a few buttons falling onto me but I can't bring myself to care. He laughs, kissing my stomach and taking the rest of his shirt off.

_We're doing this we're doing this we're actually doing this._

I feel his erection on the inside of my thigh, my eyes flying shut and biting my lip. He's not a small man by any means and I have no idea what to do with that.

He's at my hipbones now, slowly tugging my dress down to my ankles and then onto the ground with his discarded clothing.

His thumbs hook into my last article of clothing, I take a fistful of the bedspread as he slides them down my legs and I'm left completely exposed to him.

My eyes are squeezed shut as I just can't bring myself to see his reaction.

He whispers 'beautiful' but I hardly hear it. I let out a curse when he gives one long lick to my formally untouched region.

And a second and a third. A blinding white heat takes over, something coils in my stomach. Tight and begging to be released. He comes back up, kissing me fully, I taste myself on him.

He rolls over sitting beside me and taking off his dress pants, staring at me the entire time. His eyes are dilated enough that they look black from where I lay.

I sit up beside him as he removes his boxers. I can't help but look at him completely, though I look away after only a moment.

He grabs my chin pulling me in for a quick peck.

"I love you Katniss." He takes my hand, bringing it to him and first dragging my palm across his chest, down further and further, slowly reaching his erection. I allow him to wrap my hand around it. Pulsing, hot, hard, I slide my hand up and down it once, getting a feel for things.

I've seen naked men before, though they were usually sick and dying under my mother's care and the second I entered the room I was just as soon out. He is nothing like them. Young and healthy, pure muscle. I give him a few more strokes, seeing his reaction to it which appears to be pleasure.

One of his hands snakes down, urging my legs open and exploring me briefly.

"You ready?"

I only nod, my mouth having gone dry.

I lay back, my head falling onto the pillows as I try to relax as he instructs. He digs into the drawer of the nightstand and pulls the condom out.

I can't help but wonder when he got it. I'll ask him later.

He crawls back on top of me once he gets it on, burying his head into my shoulder as he blindly guides himself into me.

It's a slow process, him glancing up and gauging my reaction. I grip onto his back as he slowly slides into me. He goes about as far as I think I can handle. The girls in District Twelve used to whisper and giggle about this. How it always hurt the first time. I suppose it does hurt, the feeling of being stretched and wound tight. Still, I would call it uncomfortable over painful.

He's shaking with the exertion to hold it there. When I think I'm ready for him to go further, I do my best to relax and slacken my legs. He gets the point, either that or he's losing control.

He pulls out slowly, then goes back inside. Over and over, slow and never all the way. It's about a minute later, though it feels like an hour, that I feel ready for him to give me everything.

I pull him down, his groan vibrates as he presses our lips together. I pull away, leaning forward to his ear. "Cato please, more."

He does, moving faster and deeper inside of me. I gasp and moan with every thrust. The coil in my stomach growing tighter and tighter.

"I love you." I gasp out. "I love you so much." It's turning into a cry.

Faster and faster and faster. His hands grabbing onto my hair as I try to find perch on his slick back.

The coil releases and it's like everything's exploding and all I see is white. We muffle our screams into each other's shoulders as my body shakes and his hips buck. Our breathing heavy afterwards, skin pressed together.

He slowly pulls out of me, I give a light gasp as he leaves me fully. While he gets rid of the condom I get under the covers. He joins me a minute later, pulling me close as I bury my face in his biceps. I even give small satisfied laugh as he pets my hair. One more kiss. I close my eyes.

Maybe Marrisa was right.

* * *

><p><strong>1) Grammar Nazis out there, yes I am aware of my crappy grammar as I have said over and over. <strong>

**2) Please no more flames**

**3) Thank you to the kind reviewers who constantly make me write.**

**4) If you write a story please don't stop writing, I look to other Catoniss stories for inspiration and love when I see updates.**

**And I'm done with the list. I figured since all of my favorite shows were starting up again I'd have my own premiere. Consider this like a season 2 or something.  
>I am so sorry about the wait, I guess I just wasn't loving CatoKatniss there for a while, but it's making a comeback and I encourage anyone who loves to write to get crackin on their own stories. Keep our humble little Catoniss club going.**

**On a similar note check out my other story, The Crow the Scarecrow and the Cornfield. It's Peeta/Clove Cato/Katniss Gale/Madge.**

**Let the games begin again ;)**

**Ps: Sorry about the lemon. I wasn't going to put it in (pun intended) because of all of the stories that were removed because of mature content but I mean, might as well. Pretty nervous about what you think of it.**


	23. Second Chances

My eyes are heavy my limbs feel like they have weights tying them down. There is a distinct soreness between my legs that immediately reminds me of last night.

Despite the tiredness and heaviness spreading through me I still can't help but feel the humming of pleasure running along my body.

It was good. I'll admit it now. It was better than I thought it would be.

Reluctantly I open my eyes and its only after they're open that I remember there is no blaring sun to disturb me. I'm stuck in a claustrophobic underground hell.

I twist from my side to my back and a throb goes through my lower region.

My hair is tangled and a strewn about but I can't bring myself to care. Despite everything I feel unbelievably happy, like nothing in the world was wrong. Except for the fact that he wasn't here.

I look at the empty spot beside me where the bed sheets wrinkle and he once laid.

I must lay there a half an hour, simply thinking about what excuse I'll give my mother. If I'll need one or not. Lately she's been more attentive and I see it as a real possibility that we can get along once more, still I'm not ready to open up to her entirely. It's truth though, I don't want to wander into the room in my dress from last night and have her question where I was.

I freeze when I hear the door to the apartment opens.

_Please please let it be Cato. Marvel would never let me live this down and I could never look Thresh in the eyes again._

The problem with Cato living with two other guys I suppose.

The door opens and I sit up, making sure to carry the bed sheets with me. Cato kicks the door shut and I'm shocked at what I see in his hands.

"You're not supposed to have food outside the cafeteria." I tell him.

He carries a plate full of breakfast snacks, picking a muffin off the top and takes a bite. While still chewing he says, "everybody's to hungover to care."

He sets the plate on the nightstand, I scrutinize it before slowly taking a piece of fruit. I pop it into my mouth and hum. I've never had it before but it's delightful.

I take the rest like it and chew on them quietly.

"So you like pineapple?"

"That's what that is?" I ask, trying to remember the name so I can get some more later.

He comes to sit at the end of the bed, his weight causing a shift as he watches me lick the moisture from my lips. There's a twinkle in his eyes that wasn't there before, something that makes my heart feel light .

In a rare moment of playfulness I dig my foot out of the tangle of sheets and poke his thigh. He looks at the scene with amusement.

"How do you feel?" He asks in the silence of the room.

"Sore." Is my automatic response, "and I'm not sure what I'm going to tell my mom when I go home in the same dress as yesterday."

He snorts, "where Marvel's clothes. They're bound to fit you. He's got that lean figure you have."

I dig my toe further into his thigh, "oh be nice."

I hold the sheet tighter, suddenly conscious of my nudity. I take a moment to clear my throat, "So what time is it?"

He takes another bite of the muffin, crumbs dropping to the bed, "About nine I think."

My eyes widen and I have to shake my head to clear my thoughts. "My mom's probably up. And Prim and Rue…" My face burns when I realize what I'll be walking into.

Cato blinks, "I can walk you back if you want." I give my best glare.

"Yeah I can see it now. 'Hi mom- my hair? That's from being on my back all night- oh and the dress? Yeah it's from last night as well. By the way this is Cato, the one responsible for all of this." I drop my fake grin and narrow my eyes at him. "Is that what you'd like?"

He shrugs his shoulders, "I'm sure before I was killed her face would be priceless."

* * *

><p>I manage to save his life by leaving him behind and heading back to my compartment alone.<p>

The halls are relatively empty, people are either at work or sleeping off their hangovers.

I also succeed in not getting lost this time, going straight to my door. I stop to listen for any noise but it's impossible to tell. I readjust my dress and my hair one last time before taking a deep breath and pushing the door open.

Just my luck.

Not only does my mother sit at the kitchen table, Hazelle took it upon herself to join her.

In the other side of the room Prim, Rue, Rory, Posy, and Vick sit in a circle playing a game of some sort.

All eyes fall onto me as I close the door. I think Hazelle's the one who gasps but I can't be certain as I can't tear my eyes from the door to my room. I'd checked and double checked before leaving Cato's. I guess I didn't look as presentable as I'd thought.

Thankfully both Prim and Rue come to my rescue.

"Katniss!" They both bolt to my side, wrapping their arms around my waist.

"We didn't see you last night, where'd you go?"

"Yes Katniss, where did you go?"

So much for my rescue. The bathroom door is open and Gale stands across the room, his arms crossed and his face scrunched up. As though he's smelt something disgusting. Maybe he has.

"I," a long list of excuses runs through my head but I just can't latch onto one. Friend. Redhead.

"I spent the night over at Marrisa's. Well technically with Glimmer and Clove. They needed all the help they could get, Glimmer wouldn't shut up about weddings." It comes out in one big chunk of word vomit. I have no idea what I'm saying or even why I'm saying it. I think just about everybody in the rooms figured out by now that something's off about me. Even little Posy looks from me to her brother's for help.

The room is to small and my dress is to tight but I don't dare fidget with it.

"Anyway I'm going to go change. I hate dresses." I make a dash for my room before anybody can stop me. I lock the door and strip down, setting Cinna's creation on my bed.

I pull out a plain white t-shirt and a pair of loose fitting black sweats and change hastily before collapsing onto my bed.

I'll need to tell Marrisa just in case somebody questions my story.

I trust her to keep this a secret. Glimmer not so much. She'll probably need to know my fake story if I want to keep this lie going and once she knows I have no doubt that she'll stage some sort of interrogation.

It's almost amusing picturing it in my head, her standing over me with a flashlight and demanding I tell her the details of sex with Cato. Almost is the key word here.

I keep my eyes closed for a while, reluctant to get up and face the crowd in the living room.

My mind drifts away from me to thoughts of sex and love. In Twelve it wasn't uncommon for girls and boys to go to the Slag Heap for such things. I can't imagine doing that myself. Even in the calm quite of Cato's room I'd been incredibly tense, doing such things in the public and on a pile of dirt no less has me questioning everything. Still I can't argue with the end result.

I can understand that want for another body.

My eyes fall shut and I'm lulled into a light sleep. I dream of nothing and nobody and I finally get long needed rest. It must be early evening when a light tap at the door wakes me up.

I try to ignore it but it becomes persistent until I force myself to get up and unlock the door. The living room is now empty. My mother stands before me and for the first time in years I see her as a parent rather than somebody I have to feed.

She seems more awake now. More aware. I choose a crappy time to fall in love.

"The Hawthorne's went home, Prim and Rue decided to spend the night with them." She says softly.

"That's great. They all seem to get along."

She nods, "Rue's a good girl."

We stand there in an awkward pause before she finally steps away, motioning me to come out of the room. "Care to have some tea?" What she's really saying is obvious. _Let's talk._

My mother and I were never close, even before my father died. Prim was her baby in a way that I never was. In a way that I never could be.

We never sat down and talked and maybe, because of the effort she puts into it, I slowly nod and leave the safety of my room. I follow her out, sitting in one of the little chairs surrounding a table that's never held food before. She starts to boil the water and pulls out two mugs and two tea bags as I stare at my toes poking out of my sweats.

I don't look at her as she slowly pulls her own seat out from across me and sits. Her posture is as perfect as a women who lived in the Seam for sixteen years can be.

We sit in silence for a moment as she gains the courage to begin this talk.

"Katniss I- I know that you and your father were very close. That it hurt you as much as it hurt me when we lost him. And I'm very sorry that I got sick there. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I know you blame me-"

She goes on but I'm stuck on those words. She thinks I blame her? She actually thinks that?

I cut her off wherever she's at in her speech. "Mom I never blamed you. Never. It was the Capitol's fault, they did this to us, they took him. Not you."

She stares at me with wide eyes and I stare right back into them. I want her to see the sincerity behind this.

She looks away first, staring at her hands clasped in front of her on the table.

"He was the first one to hold you."

The confusion must be plastered on my face because once she looks back up at me she elaborates.

"When you were born. I was too afraid to hold you. I thought something as simple as holding a baby wouldn't bother me but it did. My baby, I just couldn't do it. He took you first, held you until I had the courage to take you from him. Even then I was still so nervous."

I'm not sure what to do with the admission. Are these the things she thinks about when she stares at nothing?

We both jump when the kettle begins to hiss. She jumps up and takes it off the stove, pouring both cups and putting the tea in.

She hands me mine and I stir it lightly, staring at the murky liquid in my cup.

Despite being the Girl on Fire I'm surprised just how much water has played into my life in the last few months. I almost died of dehydration. I was hit by a flash flood. I had hypothermia. I'm sure the Ants could come up with some new slogan for me. 'The Fire that burns even after it's been suffocated.'

I wince, sure to never mention such a thing to them.

I glance up from my tea and she's staring at me.

There is no sound in the world when she finally asks the question I'm sure has been on her mind all night. "Did you use protection?"

I hold eye contact, its difficult but I manage to stare right back at her when I answer "yes."

She nods before sipping on her drink and I do the same.

I'm compelled to tell her the truth, just this once I want her to hear it from me first. Just about every major event in my life has come secondhand to her.

"I love him."

Her face pales and her eyes widen. "He killed all those kids."

"And he saved the rest of us." I fire right back.

She pauses to choose her next words carefully.

"I always thought you and Gale would end up together."

"Me to." I answer reluctantly. It's true though, if there'd been no Hunger Games in my life it's possible Gale and I would have evolved to something more.

"Can I meet him? Can I meet Cato?" My eyes flash to her and I try to keep my nerves calm. We were at a crossroad here. This was my chance to save my mother and I from becoming complete strangers.

"I'd like that." I finally tell her.


	24. Caught

It's Clove that I have breakfast with the next morning. My nap the day before really knocked me off of my usual schedule. We eat in silence that isn't comfortable like the silence that surrounds Marrisa or Madge.

It's thick and can't be cut with the butter knife she twirls around in her hand. However, neither one of us makes a move to say anything.

When I'm finished I dump my tray off in the kitchen and head to the gym. It's where Cato's most likely to be.

It's empty this early in the mornings and I'm correct in my assumption when I enter the room and he's the only one in there.

He tosses spears at dummies across the room and I watch as each one hits its target dead on. I find it hard to come up with a scenario where he doesn't win the Hunger Games.

I stand behind him and wait for the final spear to hit it's mark, after that he turns to me, smirks, and leans in for a kiss.

I give only a peck though, pulling away and leaning back on my heels.

"So my mom wants to meet you." I tell him, watching his reaction carefully.

He seems to be doing the same with me , his eyes scanning every inch of my face before he comes up with his conclusion. "She knows we had sex doesn't she?"

"She does." No need to beat around the bush with him.

A tense smile stretches across his face. "This won't be awkward at all."

I roll my eyes, "so will you?"

"Do you want me to?"

I think about it a moment before slowly nodding my head. "I do."

"So how about now?"

"She's at work." I say quickly. It's not a lie, I just didn't expect him to jump on board so fast.

He wipes the small patch of sweat from his brow before asking, "wanna do anything today?"

I blush, staring at my feet and hoping he doesn't realize what I'm thinking about. He does because when I look back up at him there is a wicked grin spreading across his face. It says everything and my eyes plummet back to the floor.

"So can we?" I ask quietly, my voice coming out in a squeak and nothing like I intended. How do you ask for this sort of thing?

"Is anybody at your place? Marvel's still in the apartment and he'll never drop this if we go back there."

"Nobody's home for me." Rue and Prim are in school right now, all I have to worry about is Gale and Hazelle but I doubt they'll just happen to invite themselves in and catch us, demand to know exactly what it is I'm doing.

It's settled as he takes my hand and slowly leads me from the gym. His apartment is on the way and he swings in to grab a condom, I stay outside. The T.V is playing and Marvel asks him why he's back so early to which Cato only grunts and goes into his room.

He comes out a second later, ignoring Marvel altogether before joining me outside as we go through the halls.

The closer and closer we get and the faster my heart beats. What if Hazelle hears us and decides to investigate? What if Gale happens to be leaving his apartment just as we arrive? Cato knows about that kiss, they would no doubt need to act like men and have some sort of show down right there in the hallway.

As soon as we round the corner I walk faster, the door is my Cornucopia and I'm determined to reach it as soon as possible. Cato shows no objections to my pace and soon I'm pushing through the doorway and into the living room.

I turn the lights on, relieved to see no sign of anybody being home.

"Which way?" He asks.

I pull him to my room without a word. Already I feel desperate for him, my legs shaking and my breath rapid. I push the door shut and give him little time to examine my room.

This isn't like last time, the slow and sweet motions that seemed to last forever. This is fast and borderline animalistic.

I jump into his arms, taking us both by surprise. He stumbles before steadying himself, my legs wrapping around his waist and his hands falling to my bottom. Are lips collide as we tear at each article of clothing. The excitement between our movements is evident as my shirt comes falling off followed by my bra. I reach behind his back and pull off his own shirt.

It's obvious which bed is mine, the unmade one that we collapse into as he rids me of my last piece of clothing.

I've got him down to nothing as he rolls off of me and onto his back. Once he gets the condom on I expect him to get back on top of me but when he doesn't I stare at him curiously.

"You're getting on top for this one Sweetheart."

My heart stutters at his words and I stare back with wide eyes. I never thought a lot about sex in the past, when I did have those briefs thoughts of it I never imagined more than one way.

I think about refusing and simply pulling him to me.

It would be a lie to say I'm not curious though. The more I think about it and the more appealing it becomes.

Slowly I move to straddle him, my legs resting on either side of his waist.

I clear my throat, "how do I…"

"Spread your legs." His voice is hoarse and authoritative. I do as he says as he reaches down and guides himself to my opening.

I rest my palms on his abdomen and very slowly sink into him. There is little pain like last time, I still feel stretched but it is nothing compared to the pleasure that instantly has me curling my toes.

I must linger too long as his hands grab me by the hips and he thrusts up. We both let out gasps, the coil in my stomach back again. Already it's scrunched together and begging for release.

I experiment with what feels right, I lift myself just a bit off of him and then fall back down. It's nice but I prefer the rocking motion that I find a moment later.

I slide back and forth, my breath hitching in my throat and my back arching. My eyes flutter shut and all that exists in the world is him.

He sits up slightly, taking one of my breasts in his mouth which causes my hips to buck harder.

I'm getting closer and closer, my mouth open and long moans falling from it. I bite my lips to hold in the screams that beg to be let out. It finally slams right into me. My entire body shudders as I grip onto his shoulders and all I can see is white. I'm vaguely aware of the vice grip he has on my waist as we both come undone.

I collapse onto him minutes later, my breath labored and my thoughts cohered.

"You did good Babe." He mumbles into my neck and I give a small laugh as we slowly pull apart.

"Babe? That better not turn into a nickname." He smirks, tossing the condom into the small trashcan beside the bed. At my glare he shrugs, "I'll get rid of it before I leave."

I rest my head onto his chest as his arms wrap around me and he pulls the covers up. My fingers make a slow fieldtrip across his skin, lightly tracing every scar.

"Sorry." I mumble when I reach crescent shaped nail marks on his shoulders.

"I should probably apologize as well." He taps my waist and I see ten little bruises already forming.

I shrug, "I've had worse."

I'm content to lay there a few more minutes. To relax in his arms and let my mind wander in the comfortable silence I have with him, (if only I had that this morning with Clove) but my heart stops when I hear two small gasps and the sound of a door opening.

I hold the blankets close as I sit up, my eyes wide and my own gasp filling up the room. Cato sits beside me, the blanket (thankfully) covering his lap.

My shock is nothing compared to Prim and Rue's.

* * *

><p><strong>New poll on my profile, long updates or short updates? Tiss the ultimate question. <strong>

**Consider this the last 'cute' chapter. The next one may be a bit light but after that we're getting into the thick of the story. Capitol still needs to go down ladies and gentlemen. **


	25. Eight

Both girls turn and run for the living room, leaving the door only slightly ajar and I can hear their little whispers to each other as I try to process everything that's just happened. I hold the blankets close as my mouth open and closes, unable to find the words I need to at this exact moment. Cato falls back into the bed, running a hand down his face and letting out a sigh. "Guess we should go talk to them." He groans while I sit there shell shocked.

Beside the bed I hear a growl and a hiss, both of our eyes fall to the ground and there rests Buttercup who looks at Cato with pure loathing. 'How dare you upset Prim and Rue?' If cats could speak I'm sure that's what he would be saying. His hate is centered mainly on Cato and I can't help but smirk despite everything.

So maybe I'm not the only one that cat hates?

Taking a deep breath I slowly get up, leaving Cato the sheets as I take the blanket and begin picking up articles of clothing. I toss him his as he reluctantly gets dressed.

Neither one of us is in a hurry to talk to either of the girls it would seem. I'm dressed faster then I care to be and scratch the back of my head, hoping I don't look to… well rested.

I glance back at him, dressed and ready for what will come. Slowly, uncertainly, he takes my hand as we push out the door and into the common area. Prim and Rue whip their heads towards us.

I'm taken off guard when Rue jumps up and points between the two of us, "I knew it!" She exclaims. Her smile is radiant, stretching across her face as she looks back and forth between us and then settling on our joined hands.

Prim still looks confused, looking to me for some sort of confirmation. I gently smile at her, hoping I haven't traumatized my poor little sister. I know in the past I've showed little to no human interaction and this was all probably coming off to her as a shock. I see every little gear in her head turning as she tries to figure it all out.

"You love each other." She finally says.

"Yes." Both Cato and I say in union.

Rue's grin grows and even Prim begins to smirk until it grows into a full on smile. Then it's her and Rue racing over and wrapping their short arms around Cato.

I smile at the sight of his shocked face and the sound of their small giggles. I embed the site into my memory, wanting to remember every bit of it until the day I die. It's just so perfect, my life right now. I was getting my mother back, I had friends, I'm in love.

Rue turns from Cato to me and tilts her head in wonder. "Did this start when you had to blow the force field up?"

"Sort of." I say unsure. I guess that's when we became friends…

They continue to ask question and in general get to know Cato. Rue sort of knows him but he's practically a stranger to Prim.

I watch this with amusement at first, but that slowly fades away and something settles into me that I can't shake. All at once I begin to feel uncomfortable with what I see.

Cato with two girls I would die for in a heartbeat, the trio looking happy. My blood runs cold as I remember a violet eyed girl in District Two. Family. Marriage. He was breaking through every wall I'd built up, he was making me _want _to have what I'd taught myself to despise.

I'm petrified.

* * *

><p>I can't sleep that night, hours after Cato left and the girls explained that today was an early out at school. My mother eventually came home and neither Prim nor Rue let anything on about Cato.<p>

I laid there for hours, unable to find even the smallest hints of sleep. I stared at the ceiling, daring not to think about what I'd felt that afternoon.

The rapid knocks on the door alarm me as I sit up. Over and over in a barrage of _knock knock knock._

As fast as I can I roll out of bed, careful not to wake the girls up as I slip out of the room.

My mother and I meet up outside the rooms and I wave her back to hers, confident that whoever was here was here for me.

Just as the next round of knocking starts I fling the door open, Haymitch stands there looking worse for wear than usual. I wonder if Chaff is still making their liquor?

"What's up Haymitch?"

"Get dressed Sweetheart, emergency meeting called by Coin."

Something happened. Something bad. Why else would she call a meeting so late at night? I sigh, turning and going back to my room. I get dressed in the dark before joining Haymitch (he either fidgets because he's in a rush or because he's sober) as we make our way to the elevators.

"What's going on?" I ask as I try to keep up with him. For somebody who's rotted into himself for the last twenty four or so years, he's surprisingly fast. He shrugs my question off though, "Don't know. It's classified. All I know is we have to be at that meeting or it's our asses."

I might remand him for his language but I think I might sound too much like Effie, instead I get onto the elevator with him.

"What about Peeta." I ask as the doors shut.

"Already there Sweetheart."

He types in codes and swipes cards just as we did every other time we went to a classified meeting. The doors slide open and I see a few people lingering in the halls. Mags rubs Wiress back as the Victor continuously mumbles, "Click. Boom. Dead. Click. Boom. Dead. Click. Boom. Dead." Goosebumps hit me and I'm completely unnerved by the older woman's ramblings.

We enter the same conference room with just about everybody already there, the room is full of talking as people try to figure out what happened. Haymitch and I make our way to the table Peeta sits at with a card on it that simply reads '12'.

He's leaning over and speaking to Thresh but pauses and gives us a small smile when we sit down.

I find the District Two table with Cato watching me. I raise an eyebrow but he shakes his head. We're both in the dark.

A few more people trickle in. I'm surprised to see Gale standing at the head of the room. I expect him to come sit at the Twelve table but he remains up front with the panel of Thirteen officials. I might think more on this but a hush falls over the room when Coin enters, she takes her place at the podium. She looks immaculate as usual, straight hair and not a flaw to her suit.

She clears her throat and the lights dim, a projector overhead lights up the board behind her with a map of Panem.

"Ladies and gentleman it is my deepest regret to tell you that as of 23:00 it has been confirmed that District 8," She pauses and for the first time since I've seen her speak she actually looks unsure about continuing, "has been destroyed."

Outrage spreads across the room. I met Cecilia and her family when I first got to Thirteen. I remember her specifically because of the hoard of kids that clung onto her. Her confidence, the way she was able to act as if there was no Hunger Games in her world. I manage to spot her across the room, holding her face in her hands and a stream of tears rolling down her face. A few people wander over and hold her, others simply stare sympathetically as I do.

Boggs takes over for Coin and regains control of the room.

"In Twelve they used bombs that would easily set the coal dust on fire causing mass burnings and total damage. What we're seeing in Eight is something entirely different." He holds a remote up to the projector and a picture of District Twelve appears, the name clearly labeled in the corner as the burnt remains of my home are shown from the sky, you can almost see where the bombs fell from the black charred ground.

Peeta sighs beside me and even Haymitch lets out a breath. I knew the bombings had been bad but looking at the picture I could see the real damage it had done.

"And this is Eight." He flips the slide. It's just one large red dot surrounded by greens and blues.

"This is the thermo image we took only moments ago, this red patch is the crater left by the explosion." Voices are growing louder and louder. Somebody demands to know if it was a nuclear bomb and all eyes fall up front.

"Specialist believe that the explosion was nuclear." The room is crazy, people panicking and trying to get their two cents in.

I stare to Haymitch and Peeta who meet my gaze.

"What does this mean Haymitch?" I ask.

He doesn't respond, as Boggs gets back to the specifics of everything. He explains that this wasn't a full nuclear blast, just enough to destroy Eight. He also gets into how there is a chance of radiation reaching us but quickly reminds everybody that there are pills that will be issued to us to protect us from it. It's unknown how many died or if there are even survivors but that Thirteen had already mobilized and was on their way to pick up anybody there.

It's this for a half an hour before he takes a seat and Coin returns.

The room is silent of voices, but still, it hums with questions.

"Nearly one hundred years ago the Capitol unleashed it's furry, putting us in its Districts and forcing us into slave labor. When the first Rebellion failed Thirteen was destroyed. Now we've lost not only Twelve but Eight as well. They won't stop until we are subordinate once again and passing them children to the slaughter. It is time for the Second Rebellion to rise, to rein in a new era of peace and for a new nation to rise. It is time to stop Snow and his Capitol. We had attacks and military strategies scheduled in the months to come. Given the new circumstances it has been decided that as of next week we will truly go to war."

My body freezes and my mind shuts down as she flips the next slide, pointing out every attack point of the Capitol.

She ends her speech with, "Every able bodied man and woman in this room is to be a part of this army."

She means me. She means Cato. She means Peeta and Gale and Clove and just about everybody I've grown to care for. We were going to war.

And as I sat there, trying to decode if it was fear I felt or anticipation, something's in Coin's speech began to stick out to me.

Many weeks ago I sat outside the boundaries of District One with nine others. We were introduced to the Rebellion by a man named Topaz who gave us a brief history of Thirteen. According to him Thirteen and the Capitol made a deal to avoid nuclear war and let it look like the last District was destroyed, yet Coin just said that the Capitol bombed them because the rebellion failed.

Thirteen was nuclear power. It's a rude awakening as my blood turns to slush and I feel like I'm going to be sick and I can only hold onto one thought.

Did Coin destroy Eight to create martyr against the Capitol?

* * *

><p><strong>Two days of absolute freedom= 3 chapters for you.<strong>

**I might be able to write some more this week but after school the last thing I want to do is write.  
><strong>

**So let me know what you think.  
><strong>

**IMPORTANT: I really need a new beta, I have a difficult time proof reading (clearly) and I need help with grammar and even adding details to the story. If you're interested shoot me a PM. First come first serve, that sort of thing.  
><strong>


	26. Bellum

The next four days of my life are simple. Get up every morning at four thirty and be in the gym by five. The gym is packed to the point that Coin actually authorizes the use of lower levels of the District, most of which are top secret. Usually I stick with Cato but after a while I've been dropping off and training with Glimmer. This goes on for seven hours, then lunch, then another seven hours and dinner. Usually by this point I'm too tired to do much of anything but sleep for as long as I can manage.

Cato was raised to fight and the training that I find so intense is right up his alley. He's branched off and usually hangs out with men exactly his size. Thresh with them, Clove as well though I find it amusing to see her with them. Petite and small compared to the tall and muscular men around her. Still, she is their equal if not superior.

Glimmer, though trained as a Career, never took her training seriously. She tells me the story of how she was reaped and the girl who was supposed to volunteer did not.

The two of us usually take to the archery station and stay there for as long as possible, until we are required to run or do weight lifting.

Marrisa is being formally trained as a medic, same as my sister. Prim and my mother train, not to help during the coming battles, but to take care of those left here in Thirteen when we leave.

It's on the fifth day, that as I'm heading into the gym I'm intersected by Boggs and led to a small meeting room.

At first I think it's because I've done something wrong and I'm about to be reprimanded but when we enter the room I count nine others. I know Clove and Finnick and of course Gale. The others are a mystery to me.

I sit beside a pair of identical looking sisters at the end of the table where Boggs motions me without concern, taking his place at the front of the room. He was designed for such positions.

His face is set in its usual seriousness as he congratulates us on being selected to a battalion that specializes in sharp shooting.

"Your group's main objective will be coverage. Intel tells us that the Capitol is lined with pods that, when triggered, react similarly to those in the games. When given the all clear you shall trigger these pods and make it easier for ground soldiers to move into the city."

He begins to point out where we will be stationed on the outskirts of the Capitol.

Looking at the little dots that liter the screen I can't help but wonder where my friends will be. Where Marrisa will be thrown, where Glimmer will go, Peeta, Thresh, Marvel, all of them. Cato. Fear seizes me and I do my best to rid myself of it. I hold onto the joy of Prim and Rue and even my mother's safety. Across the table I spy Gale watching me and I wonder how he feels about all of this. It wasn't too long ago that we knew every detail about each other.

I see Clove giving one long and indifferent glance in my direction. I'm not sure how I feel about us working together but I suppose we can get along if forced. She is dating my District Partner after all.

I wince. Peeta, what will happen to him?

I give one small shudder and do my best to tune into Boggs' crash course on our assignments. I would have to spend less time worrying about my loved ones and focusing on myself, because in a sense I was going back into the games.

* * *

><p>We take our sweet time at dinner. All of us do, that is, Glimmer, Marvel, Peeta, Clove, Azora, Marrisa, Thresh, Cato and I. We each look just as exhausted as we did when leaving the arena, with sweat dried on our skin and our hair tossed and tangled. Because everybody gets out of training around the same time there is usually a rush to the showers. It's either eat a decent meal or get a warm shower. Just about everybody from District Twelve chooses the first.<p>

Too exhausted to talk tonight, most of us bid one another a good night. Everybody wandering off to whatever it is they do when we separate. Marrisa, who can barely lift her legs, bids us a halfhearted 'goodnight' before making the journey to her room.

Soon it is just Cato and I as we slowly move down the halls in the direction of our apartments. It's a quiet stroll that will leave us at a crossroad where we can say goodnight and go to our separate rooms.

Tonight is slow, tonight we can do little but fantasize about a full night's rest.

He may be a Career but even he has his limits.

"So Clove and I are together with the Sharp Shooters." I tell him, my arms swinging only slightly in my lost effort to hold them close.

He nods, "Thresh and I were assigned to the same group. It doesn't exactly have a name but we'll mostly be doing the close range stuff."

I nod slowly, understanding the meaning behind what he's just said. He's going in hand to hand, fighting up close and at the more dangerous points in the war.

We pause when we reach the fork in the hall, it wasn't enough time. In two days we're scheduled to go to war. Would I see him out there in the Capitol? Would I know if something happened to him? All of it became too much to bear, the pain and the fear.

I found that mask I'd once worn every day from sunrise to sunset, only ever slipping in the presence of my sister. Maybe Gale but only on those days where the memory of my father didn't haunt me.

The mask is familiar, it's safe. It takes away the terror of the world and replaces it with distant problems that I have no control over. It leaves the real fighting to somebody else and allows me to stay in my own world.

I'm not allowed to wear this mask. Not anymore, not when we're about to begin the assault on the Capitol. As much as I dread it, I slip my old friend away and force myself back to reality. Reality is a cold bitch that laughs at my insecurities and deepest worries. Reality takes those I love and tosses them with an uncaring flick of its wrist into situations that none of us are prepared for and expects us to welcome them as though it's what we want.

I consider telling Cato about my theory, Coin and the bombings. But the walls have eyes and I'm sure it would end with me in some sort of tragic 'accident.'

I do plan on bringing it up when we're long gone from Thirteen… If we're kept together that is.

I fight long distance, him close up.

How much time will we have together?

He's watching me as I slowly leave my mind, coming back to a hallway in a long forgotten District.

I turn to him, my eyes searching his and begging him to understand.

I'm not sure what he sees, if he sees anything at all. Understandably, we were both tired. There are no words exchanged as he gently pulls me by the waist until I stand directly in front of him, his lips taking over mine and releasing everything he must feel.

My arms snake around his neck and I exhale slowly, another moment I will treasure when the time comes to linger in the past.

There is no lust behind this kiss, no words that need to be exchanged afterward, not even a quiet 'I love you.'

Chaste, it's what you might receive on a first date.

It's probably for the best that this is the kiss we were caught in when my mother says my name softly.

Still, I pull away quickly, wiping my face clear. Even the relief is short lived, seeing her standing alone in the corridor. Sure enough though, it's my mother who stands there.

Cato tenses beside me as we step a respectable distance apart.

I don't know how these things usually go, meeting the parents and what not. I've met Cato's mother and that was anything but pleasant. Still, it started with her learning my name.

"Mom, this is Cato. Cato this is my mother."

It's one of the more awkward things I've witnessed, they appraise each other before reluctantly shaking hands. They pull away immediately afterwards and we're left in silence, so palpable and strange that I'm left completely clueless on what to do.

What would Madge do. Marrisa? Glimmer- no not Glimmer.I bite my lip, ranking my mind for any story of uncomfortable meetings.

"So Katniss tells me you're a healer." Cato breaks the silence and I release a breath I wasn't aware of holding.

"Yes. Yes I am. Not formally trained of course."

"Of course. I assume you'll stay here in the coming weeks?"

"Naturally, I have my youngest daughter to take care of. And Rue." Her voice is softens just the tiniest bit at the mention of the girls.

There it is, the one piece of common ground they have.

"Rue. It's nice to know she'll be safe here when we're all gone."

My mother blinks and even I'm touched at how genuine his voice is.

"She will be… It was very nice to meet you Cato but I'm afraid it's time for Katniss and I to get back to the girls."

I take this as my cue, giving him a small smile before following my mother.

Not the worst of meetings I suppose. That came the next day.

* * *

><p>War meetings were not uncommon, this was just the first I'd been to since the news of Eight. We were no longer seated according to Districts but rather by team. I sat in between Clove and Gale, doing my best to focus on final preparations. One more day before moving out.<p>

Coin and her various military leaders, Boggs included, point out different points of attack.

"Brutus and his team will move in here, their first objective will be taking out a small group of Peacekeepers here, once they are taken care of, soldiers will move in and secure the post." I spot Brutus near the forefront of the room, sure enough Cato and Thresh sit at his table. My breath catches in my throat as my eyes flash forward, unable to accept the image. Of course I didn't expect him to be picking flowers for the celebration when this was all over, but seeing it is far worse than imagining it.

I sit and listen without really hearing any words until Boggs speaks, he will be our team leader and I suppose it will benefit me greatly to hear what he has to say.

"Sharp Shooters will be posted along these buildings, once the area has been cleared they will set off the surrounding Capitol pods. Because we do not know what each pod contains it's vital to have our guard up here. No foot shoulders within a one and a half mile radius. Whenever a pod is discharged a signal will be sent out to your communication devices. Please remember the safety hazards."

He says just about everything he told us yesterday, nothing that really stirs my attention.

I'm heading out to lunch, ready to meet the others once the crowd thins just a bit. Still, I'm a bit surprised when Cato pushes past the crowd and finds me faster than usual. I raise an eyebrow which he takes no notice of. When we're away from the eyes of the others we silently move into another room. A closet I realize, stored with all sorts of machinery necessary in keeping the District halls clean.

"Why am I in a closet Cato?"

He looks back and forth, just seeming to realize where we are. He brushes it off though, eyes flashing to me.

"Why didn't you tell me what you would be doing?"

"What I would be doing? What are you talking about?"

"Sharp Shooters, your job. It's too dangerous." He declares.

"My job too dangerous? You're the one with something to worry about." I say when I can finally piece together what he's saying. I insist my point, "I'll be far enough away that I'll have time to take cover if something _does _happen. You're going to be right there in the action, how do you not see that as ten times worse?"

"Because I can handle it Katniss, I've only been training my entire life. But you? Didn't you hear them in there? Nobody can be to close, yet you'll be right there, how does that not stand out to you as danger!"

"I've been using a bow almost as long as you've training _Cato_, I think I know what I'm doing." It bothers me how he treats me like a weak little girl incapable of fighting this war. Haven't I proven myself? I think of the bow Boggs designed for me, a perfectly engineered weapon that I crave to shoot.

He stares at me for another moment before shaking his head wildly. "No. No, you aren't doing this Katniss. I don't want you to go into this fighting. I can pull some strings, get you out of it-"

"Cato! Don't you dare." Rage boils inside of me as I straighten my posture and clench my fists.

Despite my fear and anxiousness I wasn't going to run and hide when so many people were going into this.

His expression doesn't soften and my anger grows further.

"I mean, how can you even suggest that!?" I yell, trying to find the words to get through to him.

His eyes soften as he rests his hands on my shoulder, I shrug them off. "Don't be dense Katniss, all of us going into this? What are the chances we all come back this time? Slim to none, we're going to lose people. Please… Please don't be one of them. Just stay here. Give me that peace won't you?"

I try to understand what he's just said but it still leaves me boiling.

"I'm going out there Cato."

"Katniss…"

"No. Just stop it." I storm out of the closet, more determined than ever to destroy the Capitol.


	27. Poisoned

The seventh day is solemn. No training, no meetings, no friendly lunch. All through District Thirteen you hear the sound of wives crying and children sniffling as soldiers load up into the hovercrafts. My own goodbye is heart wrenching as I part with my mom, for the first time since my father's death we are on mother-daughter terms.

Prim and Rue refuse to let go of me, crying into the material of my pants and asking me to stay. My mom pulls them away, squatting down and letting them cry into her shoulders, her tears mixing with theirs. Before I break down I grab my bag and head out into the hall. I take one breath to calm myself down before going through the halls (which I've finally learned my way around) and getting to the hovercraft we'll be going to the Capitol in.

Clove waits, arms crossed and face stoic as ever. Gale sits, head resting on his clasped hands. Boggs stands at the front of the group as I take my place in line. A few minutes later Finnick shows up followed by Leeg 1 and 2 and all ten of us are there. At precisely nine o'clock the hovercraft doors open all along the Hanger. There must be a couple dozen hovercrafts, each filled with soldiers. I search and search but can't come up with any familiar face as I reluctantly board.

These crafts are much smaller than the one that brought us from District One to Thirteen. It's one long row of seats to strap into with no windows and only one door. Just like the ones we took to the Games.

I sit with Finnick, congratulating him on the wedding which he smiles warmly at.

"My my Miss. Everdeen, I hope one day I'm an attendant at your own wedding."

I sober up pretty quickly, thoughts of Cato and where he might be.

I haven't seen him since the closet discussion, a part of me is still fuming at his demands and another has accepted what he said was true. I don't want him going into this war either.

I didn't demand he stay behind though.

I feel the craft move off of the ground, taking to the sky and turning in the direction of the Capitol.

Well then. Here we go.

* * *

><p>Many Capitol citizens move inward of the city as we surround it. For miles all you can see are the tents and the headquarters of the rebellion.<p>

We're kept in our squads and positioned according to number. 451 is south of the Capitol, just at the base of the Rocky Mountains.

Jackson, Leeg 1 and 2, Clove and I are all kept together in a tent while the boys in our squad are kept right next door in another tent.

Despite next to no interaction in the past, Clove throws her bed roll next to mine while glaring at the others.

I raise an eyebrow at her and when the others are out of earshot she grumbles, "You're the least annoying."

The days begin to fly by with little communication. We begin to detonate pods in the Capitol with some trouble. On the fourth day Leeg 2 hits a pod that was mislabeled, instead of mutated gnats (which a team nearby was prepared to destroy) the pod released metal darts, many of which imbedded themselves into her skull and instantly killed her along with a few soldiers who stood to close.

The next day Mitchell was burned so severely by a pod that erupted magma, he begged to be put out of misery. They still tried to save him but he barely made it to the medic tent before dying.

After that only eight of us remain, though Leeg 1 is down about her sister's death for a while and is given leave for a couple of days.

Clove and I take to silent patrol together and while we talk only when it is necessary, we do become comfortable in the silence.

I become accustomed to the military life and although it pains me not to know what's going on with my friends, it also helps to only have to look out for myself and to know that Prim and Rue are safe.

What truly pains me above all else however, is the fact that I left Cato on such a bad note.

I think of ways I can tell him I'm sorry, get him to understand this from my point of view. But I have no idea where he could possibly be in the sea of tents that stretch out all along the Capitol borders.

Lying on my cot at night he is the most prominent thought in my mind and I can't tolerate the idea of him out there. Hurt… maybe even dead. And then I have to shake my head and rid myself of these thoughts.

I throw myself into a perfect world where he is safe and no harm could ever come to him or I.

These are the nights that Clove and I bond. It's strange to me, that one night after she's washed up and I'm already lying down and thinking of Cato, she gazes down at the others in our tent before ruling them asleep, she gets into her cot beside me and glances over.

"He loves you doesn't he?"

"And you love Peeta?" I counter.

Slowly she nods and when she must think that I cannot see in the dark she gives a quiet, "yes."

"Yes, he loves me." I tell her.

"Of course he does. I don't presume to know him but we did grow up together you know. If there were any girls in his life he usually ditched them after a couple of weeks."

A moment of silence between us and I give up my resolve, rolling over and crushing my hair to my skull as I lean on my palms. "Peeta saved my life when I was younger."

"What?" Her eyes snap up to me and I nod. She continues to stare until I reluctantly tell her the story of how Peeta Mellark became the Boy with the Bread.

When I'm done I wonder if she's fallen asleep for she says nothing and just as I shut my eyes she chuckles.

"I've met his mom… You're right to call her a witch." It's the first time we laugh together as she tells me about meeting the Mellark's.

I also speak to Gale on occasions. It's stiff between us. Painfully awkward but essential if we want to work together out in the field. He makes it worse one night, while we walk back to camp and just as I turn to take a quick shower he grabs my wrist.

"I'm not sorry I kissed you."

"I know Gale."

I pull away, eyeing him for a moment and turning away.

Life goes like this for a while, take out pods and hoping we don't die.

It's creeping up to week two before I spot a familiar face. Rather hear them for the first time.

High pitched and full of life, perfectly matched for the skinny twig body.

"And then I said 'no, you pull my finger' and he totally did!" Behold ladies and gentleman, proud tribute from District One: Marvel.

I'd heard they were reorganizing the strategic setup, 451 was unaffected by it but apparently he was not.

I watch him sitting with a table of men and drinking their morning drinks.

The smile on my face must look stupid but I can't help it. It's nice to see a living friendly face as I step behind him. A few of his companions look up at me, some show signs of recognition but I ignore them as Marvel spins, nearly spilling his drink on me.

"Twelve! Katniss. Or as I like to call her, Mrs. Cato!" I flush and shove at him and he laughs, excusing himself from the others and taking a walk with me.

With reluctance I ask if he knows anything about Cato.

"Just that he's on some mission." When my face falls he quickly throws in, "But don't worry Twelve! He's like, with all those big fighters. What are the chances that out of all of them, he gets hurt?"

I shrug my shoulders but continue walking, relieved when Marvel changes the subject.

"You see Peeta yet? He came here with me you know?"

"And he's alright?"

"Sure is."

I beam, grabbing Marvel's jacket and dragging him to the barracks.

"You know Cato's, like, my friend now? I know I'm irresistible to women but please try to contain yourself!"

"I'll try but you make it so difficult." I roll my eyes and shake my head. "We're getting Clove, she'll be excited to see Peeta."

I'm happy that they'll be reunited, just as I'll be happy when I get Cato back and we can be on good footing once more.

I push past the flap to our tent and instantly reel back into Marvel. "I guess you already knew then?" I ask once I get my balance back.

Peeta. Clove. Making out on Clove's cot.

Marvel whistles and I face palm.

"Hi Katniss!" Peeta smiles, the image is ruined by his frazzled hair and flushed cheeks. I have no time to reply as Clove pulls him back down and they tangle up on the cot.

I spend the morning with Marvel, wandering around the camp until our respective shifts.

We stop at the rec room were most soldiers unwind. It's especially crowded today and I can't fathom why until I see most of them surrounding a T.V. screen. Some are smiling, others just look pleased.

I'm about to keep going but pause when Marvel, who I realize sees the screen better than I can with his height, doesn't move.

"What's going on?" I ask him.

He glances down at me, smiling and showing off all of his teeth. He pushes through the crowd until we have front row seats.

**Bulletin: Head Gamemaker Seneca Crane Dead. **

A far off shot of Cato is shown, just as handsome as I remember walking out of a Capitol building, beside him is Thresh and behind them come a few soldiers carrying Crane's body for who knows what purposes.

I can't help it. I cry.

* * *

><p>I don't think I've ever cried in front of people like I do in the rec room. Quickly, before anybody can spot me, Marvel grabs my wrist and leads me away. I close my eyes, letting him take me wherever it is we're going with so little care. The relief that rolls through my body is unimaginable. So badly do I want to track Cato down, throw my arms around him and tell him just how badly I miss him. At the same time I'm cursing myself for my weakness, since when do I cry so easily?<p>

Clearly, something is wrong with me.

Marvel stands awkwardly while I try to regain control. After a couple of minutes I manage to choke things back until the crying turns into small hiccups.

"You okay, Twelve?" He asks.

Slowly, I nod my head, embarrassed by the entire situation. I did deserve a cry, didn't I?

"Come on then, let's go see if there's any breakfast left." He says quickly, obviously anxious to change the subject.

We wander out to the commons area, where under a fairly large canopy tent a few tables of food wait. Most of its gone but we get a hold of scraps. If you want a full plate of warm food you have to arrive early, same rules as Thirteen.

"Hey guys." Peeta says, catching up and grabbing his own plate. His hair is disheveled and his collar suspiciously tight around his neck. Clove usually has the morning patrols so I'm not to surprise to see Peeta alone.

"Nice man. Nice." Marvel says between his snickers and even I have to press my lips together.

We take a seat at a picnic table before indulging in our meals.

I'm halfway through my cold eggs when I suddenly feel a strange sensation hit me.

I pause, setting my fork onto my plate and hoping it will go away. It doesn't as my stomach rolls and bile rises into my throat. I lunge for the closest bin, already overflowing with trash.

When I've emptied my stomach of its contents I accept the glass of water Peeta offers me.

"You okay?" He asks.

I take a sip, swish it around and spitting it out.

"Yeah, I have no idea what happened."

"Oh I've heard about this. Something going around. Might just put you out of commission Everdeen, who knows? You might just get sent back to Thirteen." Marvel mumbles, mouth full and I'm forced to witness the half chewed food in his mouth.

I shake my head furiously. No way I'm going back to Thirteen. How would that look for the Rebellion? Girl on Fire runs away because of a stomachache.

"Maybe it's just food poisoning? Not so serious, you'd just need to sit out for a few days." Peeta adds once he sees the expression on my face, both he and Marvel slowly pushing their plates away and eyeing them warily.

I nod my head, remembering how my dinner tasted a little odd the night before.

Finally, I let out a breath. I'll have to go to the medics and take care of this before it gets worse. No way I'll let them send me back. I've worked too long and too hard to get to this point.

Cato's voice rings in my mind, _give me that peace won't you?_

For a second I want to give him that. And in the next instance I'm dumping my food and moving on.


	28. The Smallest Tribute

I'm pregnant.

The doctor leaves me in the small room, promising she'll be back in a minute to talk about options.

I don't care though. My heart is erratic and my breath short. My legs shake and my body wobbly as I grip the table and try to steady myself. I know she's wrong. This is food poisoning and she is incompetent. There's no way I'm having a baby. The very thought surfaces a chuckle from somewhere inside of me. Me, have a baby? Didn't I always swear I wouldn't? Of course. So why would I? How could I?

That's the part that makes no sense to me. We used protection for heaven's sake! I know something is wrong in this picture, but no matter how hard I try to pinpoint it I keep coming up blank.

Cato. I freeze up, realizing I can't even tell him right now. Could I tell him, even if he were here with me? Would I? Everything is confusing and painful to think about as I drop my head into my hands and shake further. I shake my head back and forth and tug at my hair.

Before I can stop myself I actually let out a laugh which quickly transitions into sobs. What happened to me? How did I get here?

My hands fall to my stomach, still flat but if the doctor was right, with life growing inside of it.

I can't stand this as I jump from my seat and begin to pace. This isn't right, something has to be wrong. But what? This has to be a dream. No way was it real. A dream, for a moment I allow myself that luxury. A terrible, horrible nightmare that would eventually end with me waking up.

This is the state the doctor returns to, her face in a scowl as she closes the door. "Are you ready to talk?"

"Do it again." I demand, crossing my arms and glaring at her.

"The test was positive and I can guarantee no mistakes."

"I said, do it again." My voice comes out in a hiss, my glare deepens and I begin to shake with anger. Or fear. Doesn't matter, I come off as imposing as I need to be because she relents and has me roll up my sleeve.

"No major injury today, this will only take a few minutes in the lab." She tells me once she's gotten enough blood. She sends it off and then sits across from me, tapping her knee and waiting for me to speak.

She's in for quite a wait.

A minute, two minutes, almost three go by before she finally relents and begins to talk.

"Now, do you plan on keeping this baby?"

There are the whispered rumors in Twelve. The girls who become pregnant and have it 'taken care of.' Gale once mentioned that some of them swallowed some sort of poison you could only get in the Hob. It would explain the occasional blonde teenage girls sneaking in and out of a Seam building. Other girls, I heard, threw themselves down the stairs of their homes.

I never really thought about what I would do if it was me. Mostly because I never saw myself in this position. Now that I was I guess I did have to come to a decision quick. Time was not a pleasure I possessed.

On one hand, I needed to fight in this rebellion. I had to destroy the Capitol for good and if I got rid of it, I could continue fighting. For a moment I try to picture my life in this world.

I'm sure the doctor would keep this a private matter. And if I got rid of it... nobody would know. Ever. This is the part that sticks with me. It would always be my secret. Cato, my mother, my sisters... None of them would know about the hindrance I had for a short period of time. Just me, always me. My burden to take to the grave and one they could stay blissfully unaware of.

It's not that I don't love children. Just the opposite in fact. I was ready to give my life for my sister, chances are I would give my life for Rue if it came down to it. But it's this that scares me. How I put myself in danger for these two girls, surely I would do this for my own baby. How many times can you jump in front of the train before you are hit?

But if I got rid of it… it would be like a little tribute. Thrown into a game and killed when it had no chance to begin with. It is the image of Prim and Rue, ascending onto a stage that would mean death, that I finally make my choice. I don't want to be a mother. I don't know if Cato wants to be a father. I do know that this baby deserved a shot, and if it was going to die it would not be by my hand. That I would never be able to deny it to the ones I love.

"I- we used protection." I say, my voice is hollow and my legs still shaking. I'm trying once last time to justify that this can't be true.

She nods slowly. "There's a conspiracy theory you know? About Thirteen. Successful births rates are so low that on some occasions the President orders that birth control be tampered with."

I wince. Same thing with District Twelve and the Capitol.

A sharp knock on the door as the doctor leans back and accepts a clipboard from a small girl on the other side. She looks over it quickly, flips a few pages and slowly nods.

"Well mommy, will you tell your commander that you're going home? Or shall I?"

* * *

><p>It's just past noon when I make my way back to the tent. The doctor said she would let me tell my commander (Boggs) who would be in charge of having me sent home. She did however, file me inactive for duty. The computers that schedules duty will no longer process my name.<p>

Whenever I feel the tears sting in the back of my eyes I swallow and look straight up. I can't remember who told me this, probably Prim, but if you look straight up it can get rid of the waterworks.

I still feel sick though, I'm not sure if that's the shock of the news or the baby itself.

I rid my mind of that word. _Baby._

Twice I have to stop and take a deep breath and clear my mind. Once I feel like I might just get sick. Isn't morning sickness limited to the mornings? I don't know. I don't know anything that's happening to my body right now. I hate this, all of it. I can't stop the tears at some point and I'm forced to kick into a hurry, tumbling into the tent and hoping to throw myself on my cot, curl up and take a nap. If the doctor doesn't tell Boggs I'll just do it later.

I pause when I see Marvel resting on my cot, Clove and Peeta on the other with not an inch between them.

They all snap to attention and wait for me to say something. What could I possibly say though? Don't they get that my world has ended, that life grows inside of me?

A tremor waves through me.

"Boys said you were sick Twelve…" Clove says slowly, scrutinizing my every move.

I shrug it off, though the burn of her eyes seems to penetrate right through me, gripping onto my heart and slowly squeezing it. I press my lips together and force them to stay this way. But the truth is I need help. I need somebody to unload all of this on. My hands twitch to rest on my stomach, so much so that I have to dig them into my pockets to restrain that urge.

I feel exposed. They see everything.

I try to find an excuse to yell over my shoulder as I exit, none comes though as I leave the tent in a hurry. I'm blinded as I walk in a confused state through camp, the sun is bright and my eyes blurred. My breaths come in short bursts and my nose runs. I know my chin is wobbling and before anybody can catch me like this, I turn quickly behind another camp that appears empty. I collapse behind it as the tears break free and I let a sob escape me. I whimper and cry, rocking back and forth and trying to hold myself together.

My hands fly to my stomach as I try to imagine something in there.

I think of my sister, of Rue and Rory and all the children who were candidates in a game for slaughter. How could I do something so horrible as let this child come to existence? It would be born with a target on the back of its head, with the world always watching and the odds never in its favor.

A shudder shoots through me as my mind wanders and the world blurs.

Grim, barely rebuilt District Twelve and Effie Trinket's replacement calls out a name of a child, hardly twelve, who is dragged by the hair to the stage, nobody lifting a finger as it screams for help. And where am I? Buried beneath the coal covered District, powerless to so much as cry for it.

The world is still fuzzy when I finally open my eyes.

Disturbed by the images that still float in my mind, I have a hard time finding the courage to sit up.

I want Cato.

That's all I want right now. I want him to tell me, even if it's a lie, that we'll be okay. That this baby won't grow up in the world we did. That he actually _wants _this child. It's after this thought that I feel the first inkling of hope.

If he wants it… Maybe things won't be so bad.

He could be a good father. I think of Lani, who bolted straight into his arms and looked at him as though he were the greatest person in the world. When he gave Rue a piggy back ride up the hill during the ridiculous promos. Or how quickly Prim took to him.

While I still feel petrified, there is some relief. He can help me. If- when this rebellion succeeds, we can pull this off.

I try and find that vision but come up blank.

Slowly I stand up, rubbing my eyes clear of tears and wiping my cheeks to rid the evidence. I'm sure most people will assume my eyes are red because of exhaustion. I stand there for a moment, enjoying the last moments I will have as a solider in the rebellion. After this it's District Thirteen and trying to explain things to my mother. My entire body sags at the thought. And Prim and Rue-It would be a disaster. And telling Cato. However that would happen, I'm not positive. I'm sure there's a way the word could get out, somebody could get into contact with him somehow. Still, I want nobody to know of this. The idea of him finding out secondhand is unimaginable.

I shake my head, taking a deep breath and slipping from my hiding place.

Boggs is usually sleeping, eating, or in the Command Center. Lunch has come and gone and I doubt he's sitting around a table and laughing with friends. More than likely the Command Center.

It feels as though there are weights in my shoes as I drag myself to one of the only concrete structures in the camp.

Despite my heaviness, I arrive there far too quickly. It's as though everybody cleared a path just for me.

Two soldiers stand post, guarding the door with stern faces and eyes straight ahead. The coward in me hopes they push me away and refuse to let me in. The other part of me rolls its eyes and thinks, really? What could these two possibly do if something actually happened?

When I tell them I need to speak to Boggs the coward loses as they part ways and let me inside.

The room is small and filled with computers, in the center is a table that Boggs and another man sit at, on it are a stack of papers. Most written with tiny printed words and large graphs. Both stare at me, waiting for me to state the purpose of my intrusion.

I clear my throat and try not to sound weak, "I need to speak with Commander Boggs about something personal."

The other man nods without a word and leaves the room after shaking Boggs's hand.

I watch the interaction in silence and try to find the words I need to say.

_I made a mistake._

_Something terrible happened._

_I'm selfish._

_Against my better judgment, I love this baby._

None of these things are a lie as Boggs stands up.

"What is the purpose of this unscheduled meeting Solider Everdeen?"

_You might as well say it. What choice do you have?_

I say it for the first time aloud. The first time I've admitted it to anybody else.

"I'm pregnant."

There are no tears left. I've probably cried more times today than in the last five years.

And suddenly, amongst Boggs's blank gaze, I feel angry. Furious. Violent. Annoyed.

How dare Coin do this to me? If that doctor was right about the conspiracy, and I'm almost positive that she is, than this is all her fault. Coin also nuked District Eight, something I haven't forgotten. She really is no better than Snow. Hate feels me, I could kill her in this moment. If she were in this room I'm almost positive I would kill her with my bare hands. Nothing would stop me from choking the life out of her. Nothing would make me happier.

Boggs eyes flash to my stomach and back to my face but I no longer care what he says or thinks. I'm only trying to sooth the rush of emotions running through me.

Before he can respond, before my nails can penetrate the flesh of my palms, both of our attention flashes to the blinking red lights on one of the screens.

The ground shakes and I have to grab onto one of the railings to steady myself.

An alarm sounds and there's movement and screaming.

The rooms fills quickly as the screens all show one thing. The Capitol was striking back.

* * *

><p><strong>I know many of you were reluctant to the idea of pregnant Katniss, because she is cliché and over used, but the plan was for her to have a baby from the very beginning. But think about it, we don't have many chapters left. I'm not sure how many but a good estimate is five plus an epilogue. So do you <em>really <em>have to deal with pregnant Katniss? No.**

**I want to (hopefully) have this story finished by the end of winter break. Maybe by next Spring Break (when I started Lux) I can have a new story going. That's my ultimate goal with Catoniss, original plot lines. The idea of actually concluding Lux is sort of terrifying and exciting and downright thrilling.**

New poll on my profile, one I've always wanted to have. Do you want the baby to be a boy or a girl?

**Now, admittedly, I am a sucker for babies. There would probably be a Catoniss baby in any story I did. **


	29. No Progress Without Betrayal

I hold onto the railings, quickly forgotten as the room fills up and more screens show the continuing attack on the rebellion. I watch the impending chaos with a morbid fascination, an onlooker in a disaster. The ground shakes on occasion, giving off weak tremors as the sound of explosions take place. An alarm goes off, dead in the wake of further explosions. And still I remain alone. My knees buckle and my knuckles go white from holding onto the railing so tightly. Finally, minutes after the first explosion, an officer must realize I do not belong in the room and he shows me to the door, telling me I must join my group.

I do just that, jumping into a light jog the moment I am outside. I have to push past many other soldiers who are either in a hurry to get some place or simply standing there with gaping mouths. Occasionally, out the corner of my eye, I see the flash of an explosion. Never so close that I panic, but never far enough that I can relax even for a moment. I make a few sharp turns, squeeze behind people who have formed groups, and keep running until I've made it to the others.

Peeta, Clove, and Marvel still remain at our tent and have been joined by Gale, Finnick, and the remaining sharp shooters.

"Have you seen Boggs?" Jackson asks, eyes flashing back and forth through the crowds. If he doesn't show up soon she will be left second in command, something she is very aware of.

I nod my head, not speaking until I'm close enough to not have to strain my voice. "He's back in command. I don't know if he'll be here." I answer honestly. She nods before directing me to get my bow and await orders.

I regroup with the others after grabbing everything I need from the tent. I pause just before making my way over to them and wonder if I should confess the baby. The moment this thought appears, I scoff. No way could I do that, Boggs was one person. My commander, somebody who would inevitably find out. The thought of telling Peeta and Marvel, even Clove, is terrifying. Gale is unimaginable. So I stand quietly beside Peeta who asks, gently, if I'm okay. I nod and give him a small smile which I hope reassures him.

"Why aren't you and Marvel joining your people?"

Marvel jumps in to answer this. Sometimes I think he likes the sound of his own voice. "We were in the middle of being reorganized, our squad is all over the place. Jackson said it would be for the best if we stuck with you guys."

I nod, eyes examining the explosions that continue to go off maybe three miles away. My heart contracts at the idea of Marrisa or any of my friends over there. The horror and fear all of them must be experiencing there. I suck in a breath as the biggest blast yet goes off, the type they must have used when they destroyed Twelve.

Jackson calls us over and before I can make my way to her, I pause and see Clove watching me deeply. Or rather the hand that rests on my stomach. Furious at my own slip, I drop my hand and pray she doesn't put the pieces together. When our eyes meet I can practically see the wheels in her head turning and the sudden clarity that strikes her. She stands painfully close as Jackson begins to speak.

"It seems there was a spy within the rebellion that gave information to the Capitol; that explosion we just saw? That was them taking out one of our biggest strongholds as well as several hovercrafts. I'm awaiting orders now on our movement. You two," She motions to Marvel and Peeta, "You'll be staying with us until we are no longer on high alert, got that?"

She doesn't await an answer, already talking into the radio and trying to get her voice in with all the others.

We turn to our companions once again; I'm petrified of what Clove may or may not ask. Being beside her is enough to rattle me.

I keep my hands balled in fists and in the pockets of my jacket, pressing my thumb against my index finger whenever there is another explosion. They're getting closer and closer, we really have to move soon, they're in a direct path towards us.

They positioned the rebellion in a way that would prevent the Capitol from trying a surprise attack with the mountains behind us. This would be a great advantage but now they are coming at us head on, meaning we can't back up. Well, it might be possible, but those mountains almost seem to touch the sky. I gulp, realizing just how trapped we are. I'm beginning to think of the ways I can escape, if we stay here much longer we'll become the new targets. My lips press together and fear seizes me, we really need to get going soon. Jackson continues to look for orders but nothing new seems to have happened. I begin to fidget, digging my toes into the bottom of my boots. Beside me Peeta voices my concern out loud, as a new bomb goes off less than two miles away.

"They were already in place? God damn traitors." Jackson hisses.

We watch her curiously, I see the others getting nervous.

One mile away.

"Oh thank goodness!" Leeg 1 sighs, pointing to Boggs who jogs to the rest of us and takes Jackson to the side, both of them talking rapidly. Boggs claps and calls us all to order, everybody moving faster than they would with Jackson.

Boggs eyes me for a moment, his eyes once again dropping to my stomach like he expects there to be a giant bump. His eyes burn and I'm tempted to cross my arms, however, with all of my movements being scrutinized by Clove, I don't dare. He finally looks away, nobody seems to question why he looked at me. They're more concerned with what we're going to do, as I am.

"Alright listen up you guys, already soldiers are going into the city. Hovercrafts taking the injured back to Thirteen have been destroyed. Consider us cut off from them until we get reinforcements. We're going to move into the city as a group. We have no current destination. There is, however, an apartment complex that was evacuated last week. We'll shoot for that and make adjustments where we need to. Alright? Let's get moving."

He moves to the front of the group and we begin to move. Others walk in a similar fashion to this and enter the city in different points. I try and focus on my surroundings. We move into the outer limits but quickly get further in, where only a few pods were taken out and then to place where no pods were destroyed, or rather, were scheduled to be destroyed in the coming days. We move rather quickly, occasionally seeing another group walking down the other roads, occasionally hearing explosions in those other streets.

We recognize the danger we're in. Still blocks away from the apartments, all conversation ends as the bombs reach our camp behind us. Gale takes a long look at it before his eyes drift to me. I hold eye contact with him, remembering every conversation in the forest we ever had. Suddenly, I'm thrown into the past that I almost miss. How badly I want to go back, just for one day, just to lie in the grass and stare at the sky and listen to the place surrounding me and have brief fantasizes of a world better than mine. But the thing is, the world I lived in back then was terrible, never having enough of anything. I know I am remembering the past fondly because it is simply better than the here and now. I watch Gale and slowly, very slowly I let him back into my world. And maybe it's the years of companionship or simply some strange law of nature, but he recognizes his invitation and he accepts it. We will always be friends, I've decided.

I look away, focusing in front of me and hoping we get there soon. It's the sound of screeching metal. Of a thousand screaming birds. Of every tribute meeting their death. Somewhere behind us a pod bursts open, black tar quickly covers the group of soldiers down the road. They go down. They don't get up.

We freeze for a moment, and then it's panic as we all take off in a hurry, scrambling down the streets as the tar continues to spread in a never ending wave.

I almost trip as I reach the front of the pack. Finnick's hand shoots out and grabs onto mine as he steadies me. He gives a smile that is surely trademarked before shouting and pointing out the bright red buildings that must be our targets. Relief spreads through me when Boggs confirms this, running faster and faster as we all begin to reach the building. Finnick first, who gets the door open. I'm fourth in, just after Marvel and Boggs.

I get out of the doorway quickly, watching the others getting inside.

Gale, Peeta, Clove, Jackson, and finally Leeg 1. I wait for a moment, as does Boggs who holds the door. When Homes doesn't come through and the tar grows nearer, he has no choice but to close the door and quickly put a coffee table in front of it. I glance at the window, hoping the glass will hold as the tar goes by. There is no speaking in the room as we all attempt to catch our breath. After a few minutes we begin to spread out, obeying Boggs orders. Marvel, Finnick, and Gale search the home for any possible occupants. Clove and Jackson lock up, seeing if they find any possible way tar could get inside. Leeg 1 goes to find any food. Who knows the next chance we'll have a chance at a decent meal?

I look to Boggs for my orders but he points in the direction of a couch opposite of the window and door. The message is clear, I'm not allowed to do anything that might be considered dangerous. This whole situation is beyond dangerous but I have to remind myself that if we were not attacked than I would be on a hovercraft right now, going back to Thirteen where I'd have to explain things to my mother. That might still happen, if we're lucky.

"Sir!" Jackson calls, quickly handing him a radio as she comes crashing back into the living room. "Listen to this."

I can hardly make out anything amongst the static but manage to make out a few phrases; they know why the Capitol attacked so suddenly.

I glance to my side, noticing many of the others standing at the edge of the hallway or in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room. Boggs eventually puts the radio down, calling Clove, Peeta, Marvel and I to the corner of the room. I move with caution, eyeing the others and trying to see what they think of this. I realize we all have the same people in common, the people who we left the arena with. I begin to shake, wondering if something terrible happened to one of them.

Boggs eyes each of us and I wish I weren't shaking so badly.

"We knew that somebody within the rebellion had given the Capitol the coordinates to some of our most important points, the stronghold, the hovercrafts. Most recent word is that they've hit the medical bay. It just came in though, you know Azora of District Four don't you?"

He couldn't possible mean… he did.

"She's been working with the Capitol?" I ask.

He nods, shaking the radio in his hand. "Has been for a while now. There was a group of traitors from Thirteen who coordinated with the Capitol, they all got something in return, what they got I'm not sure about but it's official. Azora and several others are now standing with the Capitol."

Jackson calls him over, telling him there's a damage report coming out of the first bombing site.

The four of us are left to stand there and feel the sting of this betrayal. It hurts more than it should and I think it must be because Azora was one of our own. She was there with us through everything in the arena, the forest and the Hunger Games. Somehow it is impossible to wrap my head around the idea of her working with Snow, shouldn't everything we went through convince her to do the exact opposite? I didn't know Azora very well; if we talked directly at all it slips my mind now. But I do remember her helping Peeta and Rue those first few days at the Cornucopia, attempting to merge the two groups. I do remember thinking of her as the most humane Career. So now I have a difficult time placing her behind enemy lines.

Cato and I. Peeta and Clove. Marrisa and Thresh. Rue and Glimmer stayed at the Cornucopia. I quickly look to Marvel who probably spent the most time with her; Peeta and Clove reach the same conclusion and look to him.

He's staring at his feet, arms crossed and in deep thought before slowly nodding and looking up at us.

"She… She hated being a Career. She really wanted to go home… to her family. They were close."

"So why do this?" Clove asks, eyes narrowing and anger spreading across her face.

Marvel shrugs, glancing at the roof as if he expected the answer to be carved into the walls. "Don't know. Maybe she just wanted to be done with this? Maybe she just needed to get home and Snow cut her a better deal than Coin?"

We contemplate this for a moment before there is a yell on the other side of the room. I instantly see what it was about, as the tar makes its way up to the window, pressing against the glass and causing it to creak.

The four of us bury the treachery and quickly join the others.

"These apartments are built with a tunnel system. I'm not sure where it will lead us though." Jackson tells us.

Boggs nods, "It's the best shot we have."

We quickly move through the house, looking for any sort of hidden door. Gale finds it in the closet of the master bedroom. Just as well, the glass begins to groan and crack with each passing moment. Peeta comes in last, pulling the door closed behind him. Only Finnick has any source of light. Being that we never spent the night in the Capitol, only a few hours, we never carried anything but our weapons. We've entered the Capitol once again with little supplies. Finnick passes up the light to Boggs, allowing him to continue leading.

The flashlight only helps a bit, and most of us are still trapped blind and must walk with arms extended. My mind decides now is the time to drag up the past, reminding me of the dreams I once had of my father, trapped beneath the world as it imploded onto him. I bite my wobbling lip, realizing it's probably the pregnancy hormones that make me act this way.

I wonder what he would think if he were still alive. Would he be proud of what I've done so far? I like to think so. How would he go about meeting Cato? Certainly not as light footed as my mother. It's hard to tell, he died when I was eleven, the subject of boys (even Gale who I hadn't met yet) had never come up.

Only in the relative safety of the darkness, I allow one palm to rest on my stomach. I feel instant regret that this baby will never know its grandfather. My father anyway. Somehow I doubt Cato's father will clap his hands and get excited to have a grandchild. Or his mother for that matter. I think of that cruel creature who told me what a dread the Career boys were. What would she have to say about all of this? Certainly nothing positive. Rue, Prim, Lani, even Jet. How would they react to becoming aunts and uncles?

Most of all, the only reaction I truly want to know is Cato's. I have no clue to what he will say or do and the thought of rejection from him crushes me. I slide my palm off of my stomach, taking a deep breath and continuing to stumble around.

* * *

><p>We eventually stop, it feels like hours, it must be hours too, judging by the slowly sinking sun that we see when we eventually get to the next apartment.<p>

Gale takes the lead on this one, Boggs holds me back, not allowing me into to the apartment until somebody yells back that it's safe. He goes in first and attempts to help me inside. Honestly though, I'm not some fragile pregnant doll incapable of doing anything. I can get through a threshold anyway.

In the distance, just before Leeg 1 closes the curtains, you can see the smoke rising into the mountains from our base. It's a good ten miles from us.

The same jobs as before go out, the rest of the apartment is searched, no closet left closed. Every possible exit is closed and eventually, when it is determined that we are as safe as we could possibly be in the circumstances, we settle down in the living room. By now the sun is gone, the sky is purple and blue and slowly falling to night. Leeg 1 brings food from the kitchen and we devour it, licking our fingers afterwards. We're all exhausted from the day's walk.

When I return from the bathroom I'm surprised to see Clove cuddled up to Peeta. So strange it is to see such a frightening girl with the kindest person I've ever known. But there they are, holding onto each other and watching the television that whispers quietly in the living room. It's Capitol run, obviously, as it talks about their _amazing_ victory of the day. When it comes time to sleep, Boggs declares the watch schedule, my name is omitted from it. Not that I'm surprised. He insists that I take the biggest couch but I trade with Peeta and Clove who will obviously stay glued together for as long as possible. I take the loveseat and pull the covers to my chin, for a moment trying to imagine the Capitol people who once lived here. A hate spreads through me, one that's always been there for the Capitol. I can imagine them now, watching the Hunger Games on the T.V. that remains on through the night, and cheering at each dead tribute.

I close my eyes, hating the sting that is there behind my eyelids. I blink a few times before it goes away and I can finally relax. The blanket is warm and heavy and my body finally relaxes beneath it.

I roll over just as I'm about to go to sleep and take one last look on the others. Marvel sleeps on the floor beneath me, completely spread out and snoring softly. Gale is already out on the recliner on the other side of the room. Leeg 1 is on guard, sitting beneath the window and occasionally peeking out of it. Finnick, Jackson, and Boggs sleep in front of the T.V. all breathing softly and ready to spring at a moment's notice. It occurs to me than that Finnick is the only real victor amongst us, so somehow I don't doubt that he really would lunge if we were suddenly attacked.

Finally my eyes settle on the Girl with the Knives and the Boy with the Bread. His back is against the couch and her on the edge of it, a blanket covering both of them as they sleep peacefully and he holds her close. A pang of jealousy shoots me and I try to ignore it. I'm not angry with Peeta. I just wish I had my own Career to hold onto.

I wake a few times during the night, usually finding somebody else on guard. For the most part it is silent, the occasional strong wind or maybe an explosion in the distance. At some point I wake up with the sun rising and Jackson toying with her equipment. The smell of cooking food wakes me up fully as I slowly roll out of the couch, pulling on my socks and boots as I get up.

I enter the kitchen, finding Finnick and Peeta preparing breakfast. Finnick took the liberty of wearing a frilly apron that actually brings a laugh to my lips.

"Laugh it up, Everdeen, but I look good."

Peeta snorts, shaking his head back and forth. From the shaking of his shoulders I can only assume he is just as amused as I am.

I sit at one of the counters, observing the kitchen with some awe. If you sold every piece of equipment in it, you could probably keep a family in Twelve going for a few years.

I shake my head just the slightest bit. I've felt too much hate these last few days.

The others are woken when the food is prepared, each stealing a plate and eating wherever they land.

I'm halfway through my waffle (which I remember having and loving in District Two) when I suddenly feel a familiar roll in my stomach and a pressure in my gut. I can't stand the idea of puking in front of all these people, so with as much courage as I can gather, I quickly excuse myself. I walk as quietly as possible to the bathroom, having to pick up the pace once it's in my sight. The second I reach it, there is relief in dropping to the toilet and releasing my breakfast without any prying eyes.

I pause when I think I'm done, giving a few cautious seconds and waiting to see if there is more. Satisfied that there is none, I flush the toilet and sit back.

It's only been a day since I learned about the baby, but already it's been too long. Maybe it's just the anxiety, the need to tell Cato and finally know his reaction.

I hope that's it anyway.

I run the faucet, washing my hands and then splashing the cold water to my face. I open the door and instantly regret it, nearly tripping backwards. Clove stands there, arms crossed and her eyes narrowed in my direction.

"We need to talk Everdeen."

Without giving me a chance to respond she pushes me back to the bathroom, locking the door behind us. I sigh, knowing that if she hasn't already figured it out then she would pry it from me now.

I know this because she leans against the door and looks from the toilet and back to me. More specifically my stomach.

"You're pregnant."

"Yes."

She twists her face, kicking back into the door and letting out a snort.

"Well shit!"

"Yeah, oh shit." I mumble, glad to finally say something like this aloud.

She shakes her head and then looks back and forth, searching for some sort of answer.

"Who knows?"

"You. Boggs."

"Not Cato?"

"Not Cato."

We stand there for a few moments, until she is thrown into me. I catch her easily, being that she is so small. Still, she carries an obscene amount of knives and she packs a lot of muscle. We both crash to the ground as the building continues to shake.

"Get in the shower!" She shrieks.

Unsure of what she's talking about, I follow without question, both of us falling to the tub. The mirror shatters, spilling glass across the ground. Things in the cupboard come falling out, adding to the debris. It feels like forever, though only a few moments in reality. The crashing finally stops and we wait for a moment to be sure that it is really over.

A minute or two later, Peeta comes running through the door, asking if we're okay.

When we nod he begins to urge us out.

"Come on guys! Boggs said we have to go now."

Shakily, Clove and I step out of the tub. Peeta helps both of us over the wreckage and the three of us take off down the hall.

We go to the living room for a minute, only to grab our weapons. After that it's back to the closet and into the tunnels.

"Do you know what happened?" I ask Gale.

"Not sure. Either way the Capitol launched a foot assault into their own city."

We continue at a clumsy run in the dark for a few minutes. Even in the darkness of the tunnels the ground gives occasional tremors.

We continue this for maybe a half an hour when the first hiss begins.

At first I think it's a part of the tunnel damaged or something. But then there is a light green glow and more hissing that fills the air around us. I freeze, knowing what to come will not be pleasant.

You can hardly see them in the murky tunnel, but soon they appear to us. I count three. There could be more. Lizard mutts, the kind you might see in the Hunger Games.

Somebody screams and that's enough to convince everybody else. We take off in a run, bounding down the corridors and losing track of one another. I become so petrified that I hardly manage to take my bow off and load an arrow. I search frantically for any sign of escape.

I let out a scream when I come into contact with something hard, though I'm relieved when I realize it is Leeg 1. My relief is spent short by the sudden glow of green behind her and the knowledge that my shoes are wet.

Her blood I realize. It's tail sticks through her abdomen, holding her up to me as the blood continues to drain from the gaping hole in her stomach and fall onto me. I nearly vomit at the sight, though luckily there was nothing left in me to puke.

Terrified, I turn and run the opposite direction. My bow is the only defense I have and I cannot shoot it wildly in the dark as my body urges me to. I pause, pushing myself against a nearby wall and taking a deep breath. I listen closely for any sign of human movement.

The occasional scream. Nothing more.

I begin to move against the walls, back pressed firmly to it and eyes always searching for any sign of movement. It goes like this for a while. And then I see a small beam of light. I wonder if the lizards are smart enough to leave a trap. Either way it was my only chance in this place.

I wait a moment, watching my surroundings but seeing nothing that possesses an immediate threat. I move quickly towards the light, stiff and ready for an attack at any moment.

When I eventually get to it I nearly cry in relief. When my fingers wrap around it however, I'm once again feeling sick. More blood. I turn the light, already sure who the blood belonged to.

"Boggs?"

I tap him once, he stirs only slightly.

"Boggs." I get closer, giving his face a light slap and hoping to get through to him.

I now see the gash in his throat, it continues to bleed. Maybe if he were close to a medical station he'd have a chance. Here in the tunnels though, he's already lost to much blood on a surface that will surely give him an infection.

"S-s-sol-soldier Ev-Everdeen?" He coughs out, more blood falling to the concrete.

"Yes, it's me." I reply, not sure what I can do. I've never really had to speak to somebody as they died.

"Listen to me." He says with sudden clarity, though his voice is low and I must lean forward to hear even the slightest.

"I hear you." I say with my ear beside his mouth.

"D-don't trust her. Coin. Don't trust her. You hear?"

I nod. "District Eight?"

"Eight." He confirms. His body begins to shake, I hold his arms and then there is nothing as he slowly leaves this world.

I take the flashlight, not sure what I can do for Boggs as I slowly move once again, keeping close to the walls and ignoring the heavy scent of copper that fills the air.

There is another scream, this one not human. I take it as encouragement, running towards it and hoping for the best. I round the corner, finding a room with some light to it. A knife protrudes the creature, followed by an arrow as it lets out another scream. Quickly, I release my own arrow into the beast after setting the flashlight down. It howls as my arrow, along with another knife sink into it.

It goes down, crashing to the ground and giving a few twitches as it dies.

I run around it, slightly afraid that it puts on an act of dying and will strike at me as I pass by. I'm safe on the other side, meeting up with what remains of our group. Gale, Peeta, Clove, Finnick, Marvel.

"Jackson?" I ask

Hesitantly, Peeta shakes his head.

"Boggs and Leeg didn't make it." I answer slowly.

"There are still more of those things." Finnick points out.

"We need to get out of here." Gale agrees.

"There." Peeta points.

I follow the path of his finger, noticing a ladder that leads to a circle in the roof.

"It will take us to the streets." Marvel voices.

Already I feel reluctance of the others to venture out into the streets of the Capitol. They know our faces. Most of us anyway, surely Finnick. They will call for help the moment they see us.

"It's the best shot we have." I say gently.

Clove steps forward first, her steps heavy and sluggish as she takes hold of the ladder. We follow, moving behind her and one by one climbing.

The ladder is in good condition. It holds us easily, anyway.

"Ready?" Clove asks, voice echoing against the walls.

"Do it." I think it is Marvel who says this. It's hard to tell given the sudden anxiety.

"One. Two. Three."

Light suddenly shines down on us, we climb quickly. I'm last out, helped by Finnick as we quickly move from the streets. It's a back road of some sort. There are people down the road, back turned to us as they rush around. There is a lot of running to be seen.

Gale covers the hole in the street as we all move out of the way.

I become petrified by the stillness of the Capitol.

"11561." Finnick mumbles. He points to the number plastered in the wall of the building we lean against. "Come on guys, I know a place we can stay around here."

Nobody questions him. We all realize the severity of us being out here. We follow him, going through alleys and hiding behind anything we can whenever we see people.

My heart leaps whenever men in white uniforms go running by.

Still, somehow, we make it to Finnick's building without any trouble.

Just as well, the cramp in my side grows more and more painful.

We look both ways before we all begin to slip into the building, like others it is brightly decorated. The window however, shows clothes made primarily of fur.

It is empty at first, but than a woman comes to the counter.

Her appearance borders on horrifying and curious. Definitely Capitol. She's had at least a dozen surgeries with the final result being a likeness of a tiger.

"Tigris." Finnick breaths out. "We need help."

She raises a hand, nails sharp and claw like. "Say no more, boy, I have some of you people in the basement. Come, quickly." She leads us behind the counter, pulling a secret hatch that reveals an entire room beneath it.

"I'll be down shorty, just hurry won't you?"

Finnick goes first, followed by the rest.

I'm reluctant to go down, fearing this woman is trapping us like rats. She can turn around and call the Peacekeepers and have us all arrested. But really, what choice do we have?

I climb slower than the others, dreading the moment the door closes and we're left in this place.

Maybe not.

I turn and there he is. The one who has invaded my mind for the last three weeks, in particular the last two days.

I gasp, my eyes widening as the room fades and all I can see is Cato.


	30. When You Can't Sleep At Night

**I figured I should take this time to address some of the issues people had with this story.**

**First of all, obviously Katniss isn't half as damaged as the Katniss we love from the original book trilogy. That Katniss survived not one, but two Hunger Games. The Katniss in my story ran around an arena for a few days, got thirsty and dodged some fireballs before befriending her supposed enemies. So obviously she's going to be different than the girl we originally read about.**

**Also, she was never so moral that she would wait until after marriage for sex. She only said she would never have children, not that should be abstinent.**

**Azora betrayed the group, this was planned (like the pregnancy) from the earlier drafts of this story. I touched on it briefly in the Outtakes so that it wouldn't be too much of a shock to some of you.**

**I appreciate your reviews and thank you all for continuing to follow this story, and I understand that it must frustrate you not to have control over what happens but that's the joy of reading just about anything out there.**

* * *

><p>My breath catches in my throat and I actually have to lean against the wall to catch myself from falling. There he is! He's actually here, and no matter how long I stare at him, it still doesn't feel real.<p>

I'm reeling, balancing on the heels of my feet and hardly able to contain myself.

I see no one else in the room but him. Him and him alone, and no matter how badly I want to run over, I just can't. My body is frozen in place, glued to the floor and unmoving.

I see his own shock, his surprise to see me and his…fascination. Fascination seems like the right word to describe his expression, however, his face is a mix of a thousand emotions.

My body moves without thought, one moment I'm against the wall and the next I'm in his arms and holding onto him as though he's the only thing holding me to this world. I don't remember the closet, the last time I saw him and how angry I was back then, all I think of is the doctor's office and suddenly the weight in my stomach feels so much heavier. It was easy to think about telling him when he was nowhere around, but now that he is here I have no idea what I'm going to say. All words catch in my throat and I'm left completely tongue-tied. For now it's all about this, this moment and knowing he's still alive and safe and for him to know the same about me.

His arms are around me, stronger and protective just like I remember them. I nearly cry, maybe a mix of hormones or simply relief, either way I can't help but live in this moment.

"Thank goodness man, I was afraid I'd have to deal with her the rest of this rebellion," says Marvel behind us. That's not enough to upset me though. In fact it's welcomed, to know that people I care about are still safe.

This moment is so perfect that for an instant I fear it's actually a dream. But surely in a dream Cato would already know of my pregnancy and I wouldn't be left to have to tell him like I do now. The sooner the better too, Clove knows and if I don't tell him then she just might. I turned, suddenly looking to her and seeing the look on her face. Yes, she would tell him if I did not.

But when? How? For now, I would let myself feel the relief of finally being with him. Later, I decide. Later I would find the courage to tell him.

When we finally pull away he looks me straight in the eye, his eyes traveling downward and noticing the blood staining my clothes. I'm not sure who it belongs to, Boggs or Leeg 1, but I shake my head when he looks back to me to confirm that it's not mine.

"I'm fine."

He looks at me with doubt and continues to look over me, as though he expects me to suddenly drop an illusion and show my true injuries.

I grasp his hand, looking behind him and trying to spot another familiar face.

Brutus, the District Two mentor, stood somewhere in the back with a bandage wrapped around an eye and his arm wrapped in a cast. Beside him was Enobaria, another District Two mentor who looked worse for wear them Brutus did. There was a long gash along her face, a few stitches in it that were clumsy and clearly done in the battlefield.

Thresh was there, and he shoots me a smile over Peeta's shoulder as they talk quietly in the corner.

There were a few others that I didn't recognize. They continued to sleep and were uninterested when they learned we were not a threat.

Clove shoots me a look and I know that she expects me to tell him now, but still I refuse. She walks over and my heart leaps, wondering if she would actually tell him now.

Petrified, I can hardly bring myself to open my mouth or say anything against her as she reaches Cato and I. He smiles, ignorant of what's going on, as he looks to her with the same relief I felt when I first saw Peeta.

She looks to me and to him and must realize I haven't said anything. She crosses arms but does not say anything right away. "I'm glad to see you made it out alive, Cato. Firegirl was worried."

Cato snorts. "She still calls you that?" he asks me.

Nothing comes out of my mouth when I try to respond so I just nod dumbly. Clove smiles, again shoots me her look, before wandering off to Peeta.

Now, completely alone with him and with the others distracted, I realize this is the perfect time to say something. Instead, I turn and stand on the tip of my toes to press a light kiss to his lips, relieved that I am able to do this again. I'm not sure what to say, if there's anything to say at all. Somehow the fact that he is here is enough for me right now. Still, my chin wobbles and my hands shake. "I was so worried."

He smiles softly, grabbing my chin and pressing another light kiss on to my lips before pulling away and nodding, "me too."

I can't help but join him in smiling, falling back into his arms and resting my head against his chest. "There's something I have to tell you."

"What is it?"

I open my mouth, the words right there on my lips and ready to tell him, but no matter how hard I try I couldn't say them.

_I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant._

Why couldn't I just say it? It would be so much simpler if I would just tell him about the baby.

It would be a relief off my shoulders, he would know and this wouldn't just be my burden.

I can no longer look him in the eyes, my eyes wandering around the room and staring at the walls with no idea how I could ever actually say the words aloud.

He presses a kiss against my forehead, "it's all right, Katniss; you can tell me."

Finally, I look at him and know that I can tell him anything. "It's really important, I- I just found out yesterday right before the bombings. I'm just…so…sorry."

He looks concerned, again looking me up and down as though the secret lies there. It does actually, but I doubt there will be any evidence for at least another couple of months. "And Clove knows?"

I nod, glancing over and seeing her with Brutus and Enobaria. "She knows. She figured it out this morning actually."

"Well? What is it?" I can see he is beginning to become frustrated. So am I, as a matter of fact. This was a tough situation, I get that, what I didn't get was how I became such a chicken. I miss being so up front and bold.

"Is there somewhere we can go with just a bit of privacy?" I'm not sure how he's going to react, but if it's bad I'd rather it be somewhere where we can deal with it alone. Also, I don't feel like announcing it to the whole room.

He glances over and nods to a small hallway that I can only assume leads to the bathroom. He takes my hand and leads us over, unnoticed by the rest of the room who exchanges war stories.

He opens the door to a small room that contains only a toilet, a sink and an old cracked mirror. We both squeeze in and there's little room for movement. I almost regret coming back here, while there is privacy here there is also little room for hiding. I know I have to tell him, there is no going against that. "Cato I'm…"

It's not enough to just say it I realize, somehow I have to show him.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too, Katniss…"

I grab his hand and place it on my belly. Then, I watch his face carefully, watching it morph from confusion to fear and suddenly an understanding.

"I'm pregnant."

He doesn't say anything, just watches his hand on my stomach.

Now it's his turn to stand there wordlessly and unsure of what to do next. His eyes never leave his hands as he asks, "And you're sure?"

I nod but realize he's not looking anywhere above my stomach. "Yes. I went to the doctor right before the bombings. She was positive."

Slowly, unsure, he looks up to me. His hand is still on my stomach, engulfing it. Slowly, as though he's afraid I'll pull away, he leans in and presses a kiss against my forehead.

"You're not angry?" I ask. This could all work out I realize, it wasn't the worst thing in the world to tell him. I just need to know that he's okay with this, that he accepts our baby as I have.

"That's what you were worried about? I'm not upset Katniss, just shocked." The fact that he was able to make a coherent sentence is reassurance to me, the tension slowly leaves my shoulders and I allow myself to relax.

"Me too." His hand drops and I throw myself into him, wrapping my arms around his waist and burying my face into his shoulders. I'm sobbing before I can help it, my hands holding on tighter and tighter as I let even more tears out.

"I never wanted to have kids… I was always just so afraid that they would starve or be reaped." I try to say more but can't as the sobs continue. It goes on like this for a few more minutes, him petting my hair and rocking me back and forth as I continue to ruin his shirt.

When I finally get a hold of myself, I keep my head in place, reluctant to face him again. He knows about the baby now, I'll let him contemplate it for a while longer.

He reaches over, grabbing a hand towel and giving it to me to clear my face up. "I'm sorry Katniss… We should have never-"

I stop him, still dabbing my eyes but finally getting control over myself, "I'm upset, yes, and nervous. Really, really nervous. I wouldn't cry under normal circumstances though, it's just the hormones."

"And only Clove knows?"

I nod, "Boggs did too. He died just before we got here." Everything Boggs said suddenly comes back to me, District Eight and President Coin. I can talk about that later, for now I just want to hear what he thinks about the baby.

"The doctor told me about a conspiracy theory they have in District Thirteen, they say that the birth control is tampered with for population control."

The understanding is clear in his face, "I am so sorry Katniss."

"It's okay, we didn't know."

Despite the mess the tears have made my face, he pulls me in for a kiss. Much more deep than the one we shared outside with the others, his hand rests on my stomach for another moment before pulling away.

He presses his forehead against mine. "We'll be okay." I whisper quietly.

"We'll be okay," he repeats.

* * *

><p>That night we have a small meal with little conversation. Cato insists that I have some of his food and this must justify to Clove that I finally told him.<p>

She watches curiously from Peeta's side, thankfully she says nothing to raise suspicion from the others.

Cato's platoon had only been there one night and had decided there was no point keeping watch, if somebody were to ambush us there wasn't much we could do, even with an early warning.

There were piles of fur scattered around the room that were used as mattresses and blankets, though as blankets they were excruciatingly hot. As we settle down for the night, I take my place next to Cato, lying beside him on an ebony colored piece of fur. It might have been from a wolf or maybe even a bear.

His arms wrap around me and when the lights are killed his hand dips down to rest on my stomach. His breath hits the back of my neck, which stirs up feelings I only get when I'm with him. He kisses my neck softly before dropping his head behind me and slowly falling asleep. Eventually the room is filled with the sounds of snoring and quiet sighs from those were able to find sleep. Even Cato whose breathing slows down behind me.

It feels like it's just me for a moment, but then I remember I will never be alone again. Not entirely anyway. My hand joins his on my belly and I know that this baby will never know what hunger is, or true helplessness and especially pain.

I fall asleep, content to know that this is where I will wake in the morning. In the very heart of the Capitol, but with people I can trust.

* * *

><p><strong>Short chapter but I wanted it to focus on Cato Katniss and the baby, after this I'll try to make them longer. **

**Also, here's me shamelessly advertising my other story,** A Sister is Both Your Mirror - and Your Opposite**, it will eventually have Catoniss in it but for now it's a pure Glimmer/ Katniss friendship (eventual) fic. During the course of Lux in Tenebris I've fallen in love with Glimmer's character.  
><strong>


	31. Ode to Sleep

"How are you feeling?"

It's early in the morning, and although I don't have a watch, I can imagine the sun hasn't fully risen yet. Everybody still sleeps around us, their soft breathing filling the room and a musky smell lingering around us.

I wrap my arms around Cato tighter, my hand resting at the nape of his neck and the other resting on his chest as I cuddle myself closer to him. Our legs are entwined and there's hardly an inch of space between us. This feels right; this feels perfect.

"I'm fine," I whisper quietly, as not to wake anybody else up in the basement. As an afterthought I throw in, "I usually start to get sick after I've been up for a little while."

He nods but does nothing else as we simply lay there and hold each other. Today is the day that we begin to plan out and try to get communication back with the command center. The goal is to get back to the rebel camp, however many of us have doubts. It's either destroyed or impossible to get back to at this point. That means we were either going to have to take the Capitol soon or be evacuated back to District Thirteen. I certainly didn't want to go back to District Thirteen, even if it was the best choice for me right now. I would much rather take the Capitol and end this war as soon as possible.

It seemed unlikely though. They didn't teach us much about the Dark Days in school, except that they were long and terrible wars that went on for years and took millions of lives. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could end our war in less than a year?

Unrealistic, yes. But certainly worth a shot. We already lost too many lives to turn our backs on, not to mention every Tribute who had been faced with the Games.

As the others slowly begin to get up, Cato and I let go of each other and begin the slow process of waking up. We still had enough canned food to last us today. After that we'll have to rely on Tigris's hospitality further.

When the cans are opened and the smell fills the room just slightly, my stomach gives a lurch that I manage to suppress. I spot both Clove and Cato and looking at me, their eyes lingering until they're positive that I am okay.

We eat slowly, everybody savoring what could be their last meal.

When everybody's had their fill and I'm positive I won't be sick this morning, or at least anytime soon, we gather into a circle where maps are thrown down that show the Capitol and our current location.

In the background, a TV buzzes quietly and is easily ignored.

Brutus, who has taken command of both of our groups with Boggs now dead, begins a sort of presentation.

"We're a solid 30 miles away from camp, completely cut off and isolated from the others. We have about two days left in this place before we'll have to move on. This leaves us two options. One, we can stay here and await orders, see if we can attack the Capitol from within. Two, we try to sneak back to base and hope we don't get caught." It's obvious from his tone that he wants to go forward with the attack.

Actually, it's obvious from a quick sweep of the room that just about everybody wants to move forward. Even I feel anxious to move forward. I'm sure that if I wasn't pregnant I would be one of the loudest voices to move forward, but right now I don't have much choice in this. I'm stuck doing whatever they decide.

"Hey guys, look at this." We all turn to Finnick who points to the TV. I'm alarmed to see my face as well several others quickly moving across the screen. The caption beneath it is red and bold and clearly says that we are confirmed dead.

Somebody, it must be Gale, is laughing quietly in the corner of the room.

We all hold our small amusement for this, it's a good thing that they think we're dead. It stops their pursuit on us and we can only hope they don't stumble upon us.

But then I freeze, realizing that my mother and sister and Rue must all see this announcement back in District Thirteen. I wince, hoping I can correct them as soon as possible. I can hardly stand to think of any of them, even my mother, believing I died a terrible death here.

I look away from the screen quickly, focusing on the maps and realizing just how close we are to the President's mansion. It may look close on the maps but I'm sure the blocks are much longer in reality. Still, we are so close to the very heart of the Capitol. Even closer than when we were in the Training Center.

Killing President Snow may very well be the thing we need to do in order to end the war. Certainly it would be a great blow to the Capitol and the perfect opportunity to use in winning this rebellion.

I'm not the only one who thinks these things because suddenly the room is filled with very similar thoughts. Plans are thrown around, some are dismissed and some are accepted quickly.

Before I know it they're naming names.

Brutus's big finger points to me, saying I will be the one to take out the pods in the Capitol. Before I can even voice my protest he's moving on and assigning jobs to the others. I look over to Cato who's watching me and shaking his head. I get it; he'll talk to Brutus later. I wonder if he will tell him? The thought makes me embarrassed but I'm grateful that I don't have to do it.

People begin to point at the map, jabbing at specific things and trying to get their two cents in.

I wince whenever Brutus gives Cato some sort of assignment.

He gives him the important jobs, the ones that need to be done in order for success. I remember that Brutus and Enobaria were the District Two mentors during the Hunger Games. I'm not sure if Brutus and Cato were friends but certainly Brutus trusted Cato more than he did the other members of the team.

This discussion goes on for hours and hours as everybody attempts to figure out exactly what we're going to do. Eventually though, somehow we managed to get a plan. One that thankfully, Clove could easily replace me on, which actually seems to be her plan considering she always volunteers for what I'm supposed to do. Peeta looks at her curiously and then to me and tries to figure out exactly what's going on.

I can hardly make eye contact with him, fearing he'll figure it all out before I have the chance to come out and say it.

We all pause when the door slowly creaks open and Tigris comes down the stairs in a slow, stiff and awkward manner. Nobody really notices this though, more the man who stands behind her with a gun pressed to the back of her skull. A smile slowly stretching across his lips when he spots us.

He reaches out suddenly, dragging a knife across Tigris's neck and letting the blood spill out across the floor. She goes down with a thump, only then do I notice the black eye and the cuts that linger all around her body. How long was he beating her up there? If only we heard…we could save this woman who gave her life for us.

Without thought or reasoning, I load my bow and point it directly at the man's skull. I feel satisfied when it embeds into his skull and he goes crashing down beside Tigris.

There's no time to wait as Finnick runs over, cursing and holding up a small black box with a flashing red light in the center. After this the room is in total chaos.

"That's a tracking device."

"They'll be here any minute."

"We need to get on open ground before we become trapped down here." Brutus says, adjusting his gun and making sure his weapons are ready to be pulled at any second. The others do the same and I accept my arrow back from Finnick and put it back in the quiver.

I stay close to Cato as we ascend the stairs, we're towards the back of the group and by the time we arrive to the front they've already started fighting.

I move quickly, releasing three arrows and getting all of my targets. I don't think about the lives I've taken, just about the lives I need to save.

Only one person from our side dies: one of the boys on Cato and Thresh's squad has a bullet hole through his eyeball. For a minute I am grateful I didn't know his name but then scold myself for this. There's no time to think much else, we realize there will be more here soon.

There are people running down the streets, most of them screaming bloody murder. Soon, many of them lay dead.

Gunshots ring out all over the place and I wince when Brutus and the others begin to run out the door. My eyes flash wildly over to Cato, worried and terrified of actually going out there.

He smiles, his gun already cocked and ready to fire. "Just stay close." He holds onto my hand as we exit the building, right behind the others.

I take a deep breath, trying to find any clean-air beneath the overwhelming stench of blood. Bodies lay all over the ground, most of them Capitol civilians.

I scream when a bomb goes off fairly close to us, binding me for a moment with the debris it kicks up from the ground. I grab onto Cato's arm as I try to figure out exactly where we are.

The roads are slowly being destroyed as one bomb goes off after another. It could be the Capitol doing this so that we cannot get ground support to come in. It could just be us dropping the bombs to lower their morale. Either way, it's hell for everybody on the streets.

I feel a tug on my arm as Cato suddenly starts running towards the President's mansion. This is where the others will be going and our best shot of finding allies right now.

We get close enough to the bombs that I begin to feel a ringing in my ears and have difficulties picking up on certain sounds. I can barely hear Cato who will occasionally turn around and yell something at me.

We keep running and running and running and I begin to lose my breath, a cramp taking over on my side that becomes unbearable.

"We have to stop. Just for a minute."

He looks reluctantly towards me and then towards a fairly empty alley. There are few people in it but, like me, are too out a breath to run right now.

We get inside, Cato on the constant alert and ready to move at a second's notice. I, on the other hand, hunch forward and let out a few coughs and actually begin to wheeze as I try to catch my breath.

I let out an alarmed scream when the ground suddenly shifts and throws me down. I hear the horrified screams of the others who were standing beside me just moments ago, their bodies falling into some sort of meat grinder. I'm screaming at the top of my lungs, never as terrified in my life as I am at that moment. I hold on to the top of the street, screaming for Cato and looking wildly for him. Did he fall in there? I'm too afraid to look back with the thought of him down there, dead within seconds. I hold on to the top of the street and try not to kick my feet, knowing this will make me heavier and pull me down.

I nearly lose my grip when a hand suddenly grabs my wrist; luckily the hold it has is strong enough to keep me in my place.

"Katniss! Katniss, answer me!"

"Cato!"

"You okay?"

I nod my head and realize it's a useless gesture but can't bring myself to open my mouth anymore. The sound of the grinding continues beneath me and no amount of bravery or courage could stop me from crying.

Finally, when I think I can take no more, the ground begins to move again as I'm slowly lowered back to ground level.

Arms wrap around me and I throw myself into the warmth, unable to stand up on my own just yet.

We have to though, the bombs may be moving further and further away but the sound of Peacekeepers and guns are still constant.

We slowly leave the alley behind and continue onward. I can hardly ignore the bodies that now litter the ground, the blood everywhere and slowly flowing into the drains.

I load an arrow onto my bow once I can walk on my own and don't need his help, keeping it pointed ahead of us and looking for any reason to release it.

We're the only living things left on this street.

"It's not so far from here."

My nod is numb but I do feel a spark of hope in the idea that this could all be over within the next hour.

"I love you Cato."

His smile is strained as he looks down towards me. "I love you too."

I see the flag of Panem that flies high above the mansion. Beneath it is the seal of the Capitol. I look at the both of them and wish more than anything that they would burn away.

That's when I see the other flag, one that brings relief to us. The Rebellion's.

We make a run for it, and no matter the pain in my side, I push through it for the only safe haven I've seen in days.

I collapse just behind one of the tanks, my ribs and stomach contracting painfully from how fast I'm breathing. Every part of my body is shaking as I try to find some semblance of normalcy.

The sweat on my brow slowly turns cold and I'm left shaking and staring at the chaos around us. We may be safe for now, but there's still bombs being dropped and the air that reeks of blood.

I fall against Cato, the world slowly dimming.

He calls my name, over and over and panicking. It's only then that I feel a wetness between my legs.

I've just contributed to the bloodshed.

* * *

><p>Sometimes I hear voices. Sometimes a warm hand envelops mine. There's always the sound of groans nearby. Or screaming. Occasionally there is crying, but this is usually distant and pulled away.<p>

There are usually hands poking and prodding at my arms and stomach. I'm not sure how long I sleep. It feels like it's been a couple of days. No matter how hard I try to open my eyes they always seem pushed together. Glued shut.

I'm never alone. There always seems to be a presence in the room with me.

Once I manage to wake up just slightly, only this time there are no more groaning sounds, screaming or anything that sounds like pain. This is the one time I really do want to open my eyes but find I cannot.

I try to keep track of the days in my head but come up blank. Two, two days at the most I estimate.

Whenever I try to remember my last lucid memory I can only think of Tigris's shop and then…

Nothing. I remember nothing after this.

One night, and I'm sure it's night as there's no sting above my eyelids, a large hand holds mine and gives it a light squeeze.

"You remember when we got hypothermia?" I do. My mind is thrown back to a time that seems like years ago. How long has it been? I have no idea, I have no semblance of time while I sleep here.

"When you started taking your clothes off… Despite almost dying it's was probably the coolest thing that ever happened to me." I smile, or at least try to. Coolest thing? Really? To that point it had been the most embarrassing and humiliating thing that had ever happened to me.

That was Cato. My Cato. I missed him, I wish we could go back to the arena, as crazy as that sounded. That was before the Rebellion and the Capitol. It was back when we were just two people with crushes on each other and a world of possibilities.

As I slowly fall back into unconsciousness I think of that arena and how lucky I was in the timing of the Rebellion.

* * *

><p>The first time I wake up, really wake up, is a slow process that takes quite a while.<p>

The first thing that I notice is the overwhelming smell of sanitization. Then that I am alone. And finally that I was in a bed much too comfortable to be anywhere near the battlefield.

It takes a lot open my eyes, despite the dimness of the room it still stings. The beeping of a monitor distracts me for a moment but it quickly fades into the background as I finally wake up.

My room is fairly small, enough to fit in a chair, a bed and a great deal of medical equipment. I lay there for a few minutes and try to readjust to being awake. My hair is out of its usual braid and falling over my shoulders in a wavy mess. A blanket is pulled up to my chin and tucked all around my sides.

When I finally feel some strength coming back into me, I attempt sit up but quickly fall down. I can hardly support any of my weight right now.

Tigris's shop... The map of the Capitol… The stairs creaking…

I sigh, dropping my head into my hands and trying to remember what happened next.

The stairs were creaking because Tigris was coming down. She wasn't alone though. Who was with her?

I got scared and loaded my bow and shot an arrow. I killed whoever was with her. It was a Peacekeeper! They had found us. He had sent a signal out that told them where we were.

It all comes back to me then, leaving the shop after Tigris died. Running through the Capitol, getting separated from the others, me with Cato. The streets suddenly lifting and everybody in the alley dying. Finally getting to safety.

And finally the bleeding between my legs.

Suddenly the world seems to stop turning, my hands falling to my stomach. I'm too afraid to think for a moment. Instead I sit there and hold where the baby would be.

My chin wobbles and fear floods over me at the thought of my child no longer being here.

I need answers, I need them now or I might just lose it.

I look for anything I could use to signal a doctor. I think about yelling but I'm not sure they would hell hear me or if I would even be able to yell right now.

I've accepted this baby, I've even grown to care for it and love it. It couldn't have died…

I finally spot a red button with a picture of a stethoscope on it. I press on this repeatedly in hopes that it will get me help.

"Hurry up," I hiss.

Finally, somebody comes crashing into the room. It takes me minutes recognize her; she certainly looks different with longer hair.

"Marissa?" I gasp out.

"Oh Katniss," she says, running across the room so that she's right beside me and holding me in a hug.

The shock of seeing her makes me forget what I really want to know for a minute, however when I remember there's nothing that can stop me from asking. "Marissa, the- the baby?"

She pulls away and looks at me, my heart skips a beat and we both know it by the monitor. She quickly reassures me though, pulling me back into a hug and whispering into my ear, "Fine, you're both fine."

"You're sure?" I ask, still not certain myself.

"Positive. We've been checking every day."

"What happened?"

"Stress, too much activity. It could've been anything really. Sometimes things like this just happen in early pregnancy. The point is though, you and the baby are just fine."

I fall back into the bed, finally feeling some relief in all of this. When I look back over to her I can tell she's dying to ask about it.

"I only found out the day of the first bombings. I swear."

"But when did you guys…"

I laugh uneasy, "After Finnick's wedding. And again a few days later."

She pulls herself into the bed with me, resting right beside me. It actually feels nice to be so close to somebody right now.

"What...what was it like?"

I blush but still tell her, "Incredible."

We both laugh quietly.

I nearly fall right out of bed, "Where is he?"

She winces and I know I won't like what she says next.

"Now, Katniss, he refused to leave until he knew you'd be okay. And they really needed him."

"Marissa."

"They sent him on a mission to kill Snow."

"When." I ask hoarsely. The room begins to spin again and I have a hard time focusing on her.

"This morning."

I lean against her shoulder and refuse to cry. Not now. I'll celebrate my health right now and worry for him when I think I can bear it without breaking down into sobs.

"There's one more thing you should know about." Marissa says reluctantly a few minutes later. Her arm is wrapped around my shoulder where she rubs slow circles into my back.

"What's that?" I ask quietly. I've had enough surprises in the last month alone.

She bites her lip and only answers when I look up to her expectantly.

"Your mother's here... She wasn't too happy to find out why you're here."

* * *

><p><strong>I don't know when I can update next, I've got finales this week and even more tests this weekend. However, I hope you enjoyed this.<strong>

**I also have another Catoniss story up that I'm trying to update as soon as possible. It's called The Eighth Deadly Sin, it's a bit more racy then this story in that it has a lemon right off the bat… anyway, that's me shamelessly advertising again. **

**Anyway, have a good day.**


	32. End

**Look up. Seriously. Look. Yep, status of this story is complete! Deep breath. Epilogue to come. **

* * *

><p>I go to bed shortly after Marissa leaves. Despite sleeping over two days, I still feel exhausted. When I wake up in the morning, it's not my mother who waits for me, but rather an old friend.<p>

"Cinna." I shoot up from bed, elated to see him. Marissa's a good friend, maybe even Clove is too. But the great thing about Cinna is he's able to give advice without judging you. Not for single moment. It's one of his greatest qualities and a reason to keep him close at all times. The last time I saw him was during a dinner in District Thirteen. I try to think of exactly when that was. It must've been at least a month ago.

"What are you doing here?"

"Visiting you, of course," he answers. He is void of gold eyeliner but it hardly makes a difference. He's the only person from the Capitol who ever looked even remotely normal.

"But why?"

He shrugs this time, patting my leg through the thin blanket. "They say this rebellion will be over with soon. Need somebody to make the heroes look pretty."

I still can't help but smile, despite only knowing him for a short time before the Hunger Games, he was still one of my best friends in those hard times.

"What is it?" I ask when I realize he hasn't said anything for a few minutes.

He smiles softly; I notice the strain it brings to the corner of his lips though.

"I just didn't know you were…well….active…"

Before it really hits me what he saying I just blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. "This is a war Cinna; you sort of have to be active."

"That's not be active I meant." He leans over and taps on the chart at the bottom my bed. He points to one section in particular; I lean forward to read the line.

_Pregnant_

Right. That. For some reason I just assume everybody knows.

I frown but don't know what else to say. Really, I've told too many people already.

"Yeah, well, what are you going to do?" I answer; even I'm aware how cynical I must sound.

"Do they know if it's a boy or girl?"

"Oh." They could, I never really asked. "I don't know."

"Want to keep it a secret?"

"Yeah," I answer slowly, might as well at this point.

"Do you know where my mother is?" I ask, trying to change the subject as quickly as possible.

"She said she'd come here first thing in the morning. I'm a little surprised I got here before she did."

I gulp. "I don't know how I can explain this to her," I admit.

He shrugs, "There's not a whole lot you could do but tell the truth. I'm sure she'll understand."

"We'll see," I answer slowly.

We sit in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before a nurse pops in. "You have a visitor. Do you want to see her now?"

Cinna smiles at me. "I'll stop by later." He leaves the room but not before kissing the crown of my head. I'm half tempted to ask him to stay.

As soon as he leaves, my mother enters, her hands close to her side and her face scrunched up.

She doesn't move from the doorway right away, shutting it and making sure no eavesdroppers can get in.

I take a deep breath, catching my reflection in the mirror and trying to wipe away the sudden anxiety that crosses my face.

The only sound in the room is that of the heart monitors which I curse. Their tempo increases each minute my mother stares at me. I try to find a way to break the silence, any way to just get it out in the open but it's impossible. She continues to stare at me and I still can't find a way of explaining things.

"Mom…" It's all I can say; it's definitely not enough to explain my actions or the fact that she was going to be a grandmother by the end of the year. It was the start though; enough to get her to loosen her features up a little bit and look at me for real this time.

"Oh Katniss, they said you were…" I don't know if she's referring to my fake death or the actual pregnancy but I don't ask her to elaborate.

"Look, I know you must be shocked, so am I, but I really had no control over this." It's the truth, but it still makes me sound like a child trying to explain a wrong.

"I heard about the tampering in District Thirteen." She says. It's still not good enough. We both sit in a room full of tension. I can't tell if she's sad, angry or both. I honestly have no clue.

"I don't know what to say," I finally admit, completely honest with myself and her.

She moves closer to me, taking a seat on the bed where Cinna had been sitting. "I don't know if I should be angry with you or him," she answers reluctantly; somehow I know what she's saying is true.

"Both of us, I suppose."

She shakes her head and gives a small smile, "Him."

Before I can defend Cato she's talking again, "Do you remember that just a year ago we were in District Twelve? We were all afraid of the Reaping but other than that the biggest concern was food. After we had food… Life was actually pretty nice."

"It was," I agree. I still don't know what she's getting at, if she's being nostalgic or actually trying to bring up a point.

She stares at the wall for a minute and then says, "Your sister and Rue are here. Prim's working in the hospital and they want Rue to be a face in the Rebellion. They know you're in the hospital but they don't know why. I'm going to leave it up to you to tell them."

She leans over and presses a light kiss to my temple. It's probably the first time she's kissed me since I was a child. A wave of emotion hits me but I push it all down, nodding and watching her as she leaves the room silently.

With her gone, I'm not sure what to do, I fall back into the pillows and try to relax but find I'm still too tense. I flip through the channels on the TV but find that it's either completely Pro-Capitol or Pro-Rebellion. Both do good jobs of knocking each other down.

I turn the TV off once I've given up on finding anything to watch. Not that I really thought I could find anything. I curl up in a ball and drag the blankets as far over my head as I can, reluctant to be completely covered from the world but not wanting too much exposure. I bring my knees up so that they almost touch my chin and despise the cords that linger in my arms.

There's comfort in the knowledge that Prim and Rue are safe and here, but I still can't help but feel useless in this hospital.

I should be out fighting with the others. And Cato. I squeeze my eyes shut, not wanting to think of him or his mission. I know it's for the best, that somebody has to do it. I just wish it wasn't him.

* * *

><p>I'm not sure how much time goes by but eventually I drift off into a nap. When I wake up, it's to two pairs of little arms wrapping around me. My eyes snap open and I roll over. Prim and Rue stand there, identical smiles on their faces as they look at me like I'm the greatest thing in the world. It amazes me just how much they've grown since I've been gone.<p>

Prim's face is slightly longer, having lost some of her baby fat. Her hair is no longer in two braids but rather one bun in the back.

The same for Rue, only her hair has grown and tamed slightly since the Hunger Games. Either way both girls are growing into lovely young ladies.

I reach out and pull them both as close as I can to me, my arms engulfing them as I hold them and dread the moment I'll have to let go.

They both grab onto me and dig their little fingers into my skin. "The TV said you were dead," Rue whispers into my ear.

"We didn't believe it for second," Prim says right after.

"I know you didn't. You're too smart for that aren't you?"

"We were still worried, you know?" Prim mumbles.

"I know."

"Why are you here, Katniss?" Rue asks after a minute of looking me over. She's realizes that I have no bandages or visible wounds. Again, Rue is one of the most observant people I've ever known.

I press my lips together and remember what my mother told me, that I would be the one to tell them. Still, whenever I come close to saying something, I just can't. I think of the gentlest way I can tell them but then remember that these girls have been through a lot. Losing their home, Reaping's, Hunger Games, starving. Surely they can handle some surprising news.

I try to get straight to the point, "You see, guys, I have to be here because it's not safe to be in the battlefield with a baby."

This gives them a clue but doesn't fully spell it out to them, "I'm pregnant."

The alarm in my sister's eyes is instantaneous, just as the delight is in Rue's.

"I thought you said you never wanted to have children," Prim blurts out. She looks embarrassed afterwards but still looks at me anxiously.

I smile, strained, and wrack my mind for an explanation for my thirteen year old sister. Is she really thirteen? She was just twelve a day ago. Still, I have been increasingly difficult time trying to come up with the right words to give her. She knows me too well. She knows the truth, how absolutely terrified I was to have a child. I want to reassure her, make sure she understands that this baby is not a mistake.

"Do you know where babies come from?" I ask awkwardly, both girls blush and nod their head slowly. I guess I should've assumed they knew. Especially Prim who was training to become a doctor.

Despite my own awkwardness of the subject, I do my best to explain it further to them. "I know I didn't want kids in the past but things changed. Finding out about this baby did come as a shock to me… But what can you do?" I watch both of their reactions carefully, but neither seems to give anything away.

"Does Cato know?" Rue asks after a minute of pondering. She doesn't look me in the eye but rather at the machine that continues to beep.

"Yes."

"Was he happy?" Prim asks.

"He was shocked, just like me."

"I can't believe you're going to have a baby," Prim says a minute later, her eyes suddenly focused on my stomach.

"I know. Me too."

"But how do you feel?" Rue asks.

I smile and take this time to change the subject. We spend the rest of the afternoon in comfortable conversation, speaking of the battle and the Rebellion. I admit I'm worried for Cato but I refuse to cry in front of the two girls, instead I sit and listen to their worries and troubles. It's nice to finally hear about somebody else and I listen to them in quiet satisfaction.

* * *

><p>I'm not given clearance to leave bed until the next day. When this happens I practically bolt out of the room. The hospital I am in is actually within the Capitol. This comes as a surprise to me as I assumed they would surely send me back to District Thirteen the moment they got me. But as I get more news I learn that several vehicles had been taken down on their way back to Thirteen, not just hovercrafts as we'd originally thought. Railways had been severed, vehicles were bombed and even boats were sunk.<p>

Prim, Rue, and my mother were some of the last people to arrive here safely.

I wander around the hospital, looking for any familiar faces and trying not to feel worried when I see a body bag being wheeled past me.

I ask about Marissa and learn she'd been on a sixteen hour shift, the nurse I ask is worried and offers to call her, I quickly stop her though. No sense in disturbing her sleep so that I have somebody to talk to.

I continue to wander around the hospital and see just what damage the Capitol had done to us.

Mostly I think of Boggs in the tunnels, his last words to me that have continued to ring in my mind. We were fighting the Capitol to stop the oppression, but Coin was just as bad as Snow. She destroyed District Eight for her own benefit; she killed all those people with next to no remorse. I could never support her as our leader; I just wish I had proof of what she'd done. Maybe then I could expose her. For now though, it was dangerous to say a word against her. As far as the Rebellion was concerned, she was God. Speaking out against her was blasphemy and punishable by death. I didn't know this for sure, but you sort of had to assume that if she was willing to destroy a District full of people, surely one loudmouth girl would be no problem.

I would never accept her though, never as our leader or some sort of hero. She was just in a position of power that allowed her to go after further authority. As this was the case, we were better off keeping Snow in charge.

She needed to die. It was the simple truth.

If we couldn't kill her we needed to take her out somehow.

I needed proof. Where would that be?

"Katniss?"

I swing around, looking at my side and spotting Gale. His leg is wrapped in thick plaster and he sits in a wheelchair. "What happened?" I ask him, relieved to see him relatively okay.

"Just some shrapnel...What about you?" By the way his eyes linger towards my midsection, I figure he already knows. I wrap my arms around myself and rock on my heels. "I'm fine."

We're silent for a moment, simply in each other's presence without interfering with one another's thoughts.

Something beeps and I glance over to him, trying to figure out the source of the sound. He pauses and pulls out a Holo. He types around on it for a minute and I raise an eyebrow. "I thought those were just fancy maps?"

"Oh no, Coin gave a lot of us these things. They're amazing actually, store a ton of data and are voice commanded." He continues to type on it for a minute and I glance over curiously. Boggs had one…

Boggs, a.k.a. Coin's second-in-command. Surely his Holo would've held something? Was Gale some sort of miracle? I didn't have time to think of this as I slowly drifted away, waving goodbye and telling him I'd visit later.

I make my way back to my room slowly, with thoughts only of Boggs rotting in a sewer, a Holo still tucked carefully away in his vest.

* * *

><p>I was going after it.<p>

It was probably the most insane thought to filter across my mind. Ever. I needed to do this.

Had they already taken his body way? There was no way to know except to actually go down there. It wasn't too far from here, I'd found a map and found Tigris's shop and the hospital. The sewer that he died in was only a few blocks from Tigris's shop. I felt confident in getting there.

When night finally descends upon the Capitol I'd already found suitable clothes for traveling. A simple T-shirt and jacket, a good pair of jeans and some high boots that should work better in the sewer then my last shoes. The harder task was finding my bow and arrows, stored away in a highly guarded arsenal.

A woman guards the vault though, one who carries authority in everything she says and does. She introduces herself as Paylor, a native of District Eight and somebody who's been involved with the Rebellion from the very beginning. I almost consider telling her what I'm really doing, not only trying to take down Coin but also giving District Eight some justice in the process. However, I don't know where her loyalties lie and decide against it.

She recognizes me from the Hunger Games, the one who volunteered to save her sister. She gives me my bow under the pretense that I'll be training to return to the field.

I rest my hand on my stomach and hope I'm doing the right thing.

The air is cold in the Capitol at night. It nips and bites at my skin, sending goose bumps up and down my arms. I pull my jacket closer as I continue to wander down the street. Maybe wander is the wrong word; I'm careful about it and often hide in alleys. I don't like this method of travel; every time I'm in an alley I'm ready to lunge if the ground shifts even slightly.

I've ripped the map, keeping the majority of it in my pocket and a small square in my hands, the square that contains the area that I'm in.

I constantly check the signs against the road and the map, careful not to get lost. The streets are completely barren. Not a single human can be found out here, not even a Peacekeeper. There is the occasional flood of light from beneath a window but most are covered by heavy curtains.

I glance warily, my bow and quiver not even remotely hidden.

Nobody finds me.

It's incredible to me that I'm one of the people most wanted by the Capitol, and yet I walk the streets with no problem.

Despite the lack of human life, I do grow fearful as I get further away from the hospital.

I don't recognize anything but that's to be expected, I left Tigris's shop in a hurry and I entered it with just as much concern.

Eventually though, I make it to the shop. I recognize the furs in the window and give a brief moment of silence for the woman who died for us.

It's not much further from here, I try to remember Finnick leading us to it from the sewer but that day is a blur.

I hide in the shadows and pull out my map, searching for any piece of light I can use to look at it. I have to hold it close and squint at the tiny writing.

I go East in the direction opposite of the President's mansion. This is probably my best bet in getting back to the sewer.

I try to find anything familiar but everything is new to me here.

I stop when I see the entrance to a sewer passageway. I have no idea if it's the right one but I guess it's my best shot at this point.

I wait in my hiding place for a few minutes, observing the area and waiting for any signs of movement. When I see none, I slowly move out into the street. I run quickly and when I reach the hole, I struggle with removing the lid. It's heavy and my fingers barely fit into the holes.

I struggle for at least a minute, continuing to wrestle with it. When I finally manage to get one corner off, the rest is easy. I put on my night vision goggles, much more efficient than a flashlight and fairly easy to acquire during a war.

I lower myself into the ground and once again struggle with getting the cover back onto the street. It's not until I manage to get it back on that the smell really hits me.

It's to be expected that a sewer would smell terrible, however, this place also doubled as an escape system for the Capitol people. You would think for such a prissy group they would want a cleaner escape route. I do have to remind myself that there is a great deal of bodies down here.

I climb down the ladder, with each step I remember the hissing from the lizard mutations and the way the passageways had reeked of freshly spilt blood.

I jump from the ladder when I get close enough to the ground.

This room is the place where Clove killed the final mutation, though the body no longer resides here.

I try to recall where Boggs died and remember coming into this passageway towards the back. I look in that general direction and sure enough, there is a tunnel opening.

Slowly, I take the bow from my back and load an arrow onto it. I hold it close, not pulled fully back but ready to be released in a seconds notice. I do another sweep of the room before crossing over to towards the passageway. My heart gallops as I cross the chamber, my eyes flashing in every direction and my footsteps echoing off of the walls.

It's a relief to finally reach the other side of the room; I grab onto the wall and hold it for dear life. I let out a shaky breath, unaware that I'd been holding it for so long.

Boggs, I try to remember everything I can about that day. There was so much blood though, my memory is blurred. My best bet is to keep walking down this particular hall. If I don't get to sidetracked I can always walk back in the same direction that I came.

I continue to glance at the ground, disgusted by the sewage gunk and the other details. The smell becomes so bad that I have to take deep breaths and hold it for as long as possible, breathing in and out of my mouth and trying to resist hurling.

When I begin to think of giving up, turning around and sneaking back to the hospital, I finally see a figure in the corner of the ground. I walk to it carefully, aware of how loud my steps are here.

I squat down beside it, my hands shaking as I slowly wipe away some of the filth on the face. Despite the high end night goggles I wear, it's still hard to see such details as to who this was. The face is rotting and all details of whom this person is disappearing. I know it's Boggs though, too large to have been Leeg and a great deal of blood around the neck, the wound which killed him.

I lift my head and inhale once, hold it, and begin to rifle through Boggs's uniform. He carried few things, the basics. Everything you would expect to find on a military man who only had a moment's notice to evacuate. I remember the device in Gale's hands and search for that quickly.

It's not a hard find; he kept it close to him in the breast pocket of his uniform.

I take it hastily and scan it over, relieved to see no external damage on it. I press the screen and it lights up, it asks for a password or a voice command. I sigh, slipping it into my pocket and securing it for the journey back.

I take one last look at Boggs, giving a silent thank you for telling me about District Eight. I can only hope I do his confession justice.

I go back the way I came. The closer I get to the exit the better the smell becomes. It's not flowers and perfume but it's certainly better than what it was back there.

I climb to the surface, pressing my ear against the roof and listening for any sounds. Nervously I begin to fumble with the plate again. I peek out into the dark street and see nothing. I pull myself up, quickly replacing the gaping hole in the street with the metal plate.

With my bow still loaded I dart into the alley, pressing my back against the wall and examining my surroundings. Still was this? Surely somebody would turn me in by now, and certainly I would've been caught by now. Not that I wasn't thankful. I just thought…

Anyway, I continue to move back to the hospital. Breathing heavily and having a difficult time relaxing. I'm so jumpy that I almost release the arrow once or twice; years of practice have made this easier to handle. Lucky for the stray cat or the bird that flew too low.

One time, when I'm pressed against the alley between two small apartment complexes I hear the soft hum of the TV playing. I peek in, able to see just the corner of the television. It's the usual dolled up Capitol woman giving the usual report. 'We here in the Capitol are just so great and wonderful.'

I wonder what those people think as they sit there in their home. Perhaps they only wish for the Hunger Games to restart, for us to know our place and for them to be the kings of the world once more.

I like to think there's one person in the Capitol crew who sees how wrong it is, the way they treat us. For them to shudder with disgust each time a gong rings out and twenty-four of us ran to the center of a bloodbath. Or maybe they think we're the monsters? Because we actually kill each other and because we actually play the game. I'm not sure what these people think and the more I try to, the angrier I become with them.

I push away from the wall and move onward towards the hospital. My only conclusion why the streets are so empty is that this is occupied territory, despite people still living in their homes they are clearly at our mercy. Maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part but it's also the only logical conclusion.

With the hospital in sight, I begin to walk slightly faster. This is guarded heavily; some of the biggest figures in the Rebellion are here.

I go in the same way I came, through the back door that leads into the kitchen where there are guards, most of which are underpaid and very tired. It's a safety breach on our end but one that can be fixed fairly soon; this rebellion was almost over.

I strip out of my clothes as soon as I get back to my room. The sun is just barely on the horizon and reflecting off the buildings in the Capitol, it has a blinding effect in the morning and in the evening but the morning probably doesn't matter. Most people don't get up this early in the Capitol. They stay up all night and fall asleep whenever they want.

I change quickly into a comfortable pair of sweatpants and a shirt, hiding my sewer clothes beneath the hospital bed. Along with them goes my arrows and bow. I sit on my bed, pulling out the Holo and examining it in the better light. Such a wondrous device that could be the difference between further oppression and total freedom.

There's no way I could stay here forever and guess each possible combination to the password, and certainly no way I could imitate Boggs's voice.

I would need to hack it, a skill I do not possess. There is one person though; one I'm almost certain it is here. I set out of my room, determined to find him.

* * *

><p>Beetee was the victor of the Hunger Games long before I was born. He was famous for his technological accomplishments that followed soon after his victory. He and Gale had started up some sort of companionship and the two were often behind closed doors coming up with new ways to win this war. He was the only person I thought of when it came to breaking into the Holo.<p>

He was here too, with a crushed foot after a particularly nasty roof collapse. It didn't stop him from continuing to experiment with all sorts of devices. I discovered this when I finally found his room and entered inside.

Though he was resting in bed with his leg elevated in a sling, what surrounded him were all sorts of tiny devices and computers. Despite the glaring light from each of them he continued to sleep peacefully.

I felt embarrassed by my intrusion but only for a minute, what I had was much more important.

So I stood beside his bed, careful not to touch anything he was working on, and gave him a light shake. He woke up instantly, his eyes flashing towards me. Like Haymitch and other Hunger Games Victors, he had difficulty staying asleep.

I smile as warmly as I could, determined not to scare him. Despite being a Victor he certainly looked like someone who belonged as far away from an arena as possible.

"Katniss?"

"Beetee, listen to me, I have something important that I need you to do."

Still groggy from his sleep he nods docilely. "Sure, what is it?"

I pull out the Holo and reluctantly put it in his hands. "I need you to hack into this."

"Why?"

"It's important," I say, strained not by the lack of explanation to him but by the necessity of this. I don't know Beetee's faithfulness to Coin and it's as easy as snapping the Holo to destroy any chance I have of taking her down.

He asks me to hand him something and he quickly begins to work. My eyes widened when I see him take off the entire front lid.

"What are you doing?" I gasp, for a moment fearing that he just broke it.

He ignores me as he continues to play with the wires and the buttons inside. "Holo's are a simple thing really, once you get to know them."

I watch him as he continues to mess with the wires inside of the Holo. I'm not sure how much time passes, and too fascinated with the work he does to really check. But by the time he screws lid back onto the Holo the sun is well on its way to warming up the Capitol.

"The new password is one, two, three, four." He types it in and the Holo accepts it, opening up the previously confidential pages. "What exactly were you looking for?" He asks.

I shrug when he hands it to me, attempting to work the device but finding it very difficult. There are so many folders and so many buttons that I find it challenging to figure out which one would hold the key. I struggle with it for a minute before giving up and handing it back to him.

"I need something on District Eight. Anything it might say on it."

He nods and begins to type on it with ease. A moment later the device asks for a password to which he enters the one he programmed in earlier. It accepts it and suddenly opens folders with bold red letters that say 'Top Secret.'

I try to take the device from him before he reads too much but he's already figured out the gist of what the documents are saying. When I reach for it he pulls away and continues to read, eyes moving back and forth over the page and absorbing each line.

I stand back and watch him, his facial expressions mostly. I knew it, I was right. Coin destroyed District Eight.

"Well Miss Everdeen you certainly stumbled upon gold." He says about an hour later, after we both had a chance to read over the documents.

"I figured I would," I mumble somberly from the chair beside his bed. It would be nice to think that our leaders were as perfect as they looked on the outside by the presentation they gave to us every day. But the truth was they weren't; I had that truth right here in this hospital room: an atrocity that Coin had done to the people she swore to protect.

"The question is what will you do with it?" Beetee asks.

"What do you mean what will I do with it? Expose her of course."

"It's noble of you. For the last seventy-five years or so, people who gained such information usually used it to blackmail the higher ups. Help them get ahead. This right here," he waves the Holo around, "would probably get you as much money as you needed to live your life in the most luxurious way possible. You would never have to work a day in your life if you threatened Coin with this. Or you could do the right thing and give it to the people. It might just be the first time anybody's been selfless in the world of Panem politics."

We continue to sit together quietly. "Who do I tell first?"

We're both stopped from thinking this over when the TV suddenly lights up and big red letters spell 'Breaking News.'

My heart begins to slam when I see Cato's face, though from a distance it's definitely him along with several other men. The caption is simple. Snow is dead.

The war was over.

* * *

><p>The impending celebration took precedence over anything I could've said.<p>

Beetee agreed to keep it between just the two of us until the time was appropriate to expose her.

Both of us were quickly swept away in the joy of the war finally ending, not only ending but ending in our favor. The Rebellion had succeeded. No more Hunger Games, no more children standing in great masses and holding their breath while they waited for somebody else's name to be drawn. We had won our war. I sit in my room and watch the news feed, both Rue and Prim sitting at the end of my bed. Marissa stands by the doorway, arms crossed and the look of triumph spread across her face.

I relax whenever I see Cato or Thresh and even Marvel who was asked to join them this time. They're all over the TV, some of the biggest heroes only ever seen at a distance.

A general feeling of shock lingers in the hospital. Who would've thought we could actually do it?

In some streets, people continue to party, throwing their hands in the air and screaming for Coin. Others remain empty as the Capitol residents stay inside and refuse to leave. It's probably just as well.

I watch this silently, absorbing it all and trying to process it in my mind. It still doesn't feel real.

A few people come to my room, once, Beetee, who looks embarrassed, quickly turns with some fake excuse and a 'see you later.'

Gale comes in once. He sees my chart but doesn't show a reaction. I guess he did know that day he taught me about the Holo.

Every night there's a party with wild fireworks spiraling into the sky and exploding with the sound of people cheering and laughing. It's a nice change from the usual groans and screams in the hospital.

At night I slip my hand beneath my bed and pat the Holo that's still hidden with my old jacket and bow and arrow.

I try to talk to Beetee a few times, but with the constant moving and celebrating it's hard to spot him and have a serious conversation. We both manage to come up with a very loose plan. We'll get the information out once the celebrating is done, and the hard work begins. Until then we had to keep it absolutely confidential; if Coin got wind of it, she would have it destroyed and more than likely have us killed.

It's hard not to get caught up in the glee though. Word was coming in and so far nobody who was in the Hunger Games with me was dead.

Injured, yes, but not dead. And maybe that was all we could ask for.

* * *

><p>It's late, yet the partying continues on outside. I have the curtains closed but light manages to seep in beneath it. I turn my back to it and stare at the dark wall, the blankets around me and sleep eluding for now.<p>

I think I might just be falling asleep when I'm suddenly pulled from that semi-unconscious state when the door opens and light spills into the room.

My eyes snap open on high alert, though the light suddenly disappears as the door is closed with a soft click.

I quickly reach over and switch on the small lamp beside my bed.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you."

"Cato!"

Handsome as ever with a few new scars decorating his face. I gap at him, unable to really place him here in this hospital. I smile, realizing this isn't a dream and that he was really here.

I'm not sure what to do with myself and before I can wrestle out of the tangle of covers on the bed, he sits beside me.

I wrap my arms around his waist, burying my head into his chest and taking a deep breath.

"I'm so glad you're okay," I whisper quietly, stroking his back and taking a deep breath to inhale his scent.

His arms surround me as we simply hold each other in the poorly lit room. What now?

I met him in the Hunger Games where I expected to kill him. I wasn't sure if he would kill me or not when the Hunger Games were on hiatus. I slowly began to trust him as we went through the woods together. We finally began to move forward together in District Thirteen. And then there was the war where we were constantly being separated. But now it was over. It was all over, and obviously we were going to stay together, but how?

He kisses my neck softly, slowly making his way down to my shoulder where he places a few more light kisses. "Let's just go to bed. We can talk about everything we need to talk about in the morning," he mumbles quietly to me. It's only then that I realize how tired he must be, when he pulls away to take off his boots I notice the black bags under his eyes. He kicks his shoes and socks off before pulling himself further into bed with me.

I move over and pull the covers back for him. He gets in and takes the covers from me and pulls them up so that they surround both of us. We begin to settle in and when I'm relatively comfortable and he's no longer adjusting, I lean over and switch the light off.

We wrap our bodies around each other, holding close and content to be with one another. He's out in under a minute, his breath slowing down and a peace falling over him.

I want him to have at least one good night of sleep before I have to break the news to him, that Coin was a fraud and we still had plenty of work to do. For now though, this was perfect.

* * *

><p>"You're pregnant!" Glimmer yells. Her eyes are bugging out and her mouth is falling to the floor as she looks between Cato and me and then staring at me. She stutters around before finally getting out, "When did you find out?"<p>

"The day the bombs fell on the Rebellion."

She huffs and continues to glare at us, as though she was entitled to know first. Despite the fresh cut on her forehead or her arm in a sling, she still looks like the intimidating and sexy Career from District One.

The others are not nearly as worked up about the news as she is. Peeta offers a genuine congratulation and even shakes Cato's hand. I think he must've figured it out by now, or at least had an idea by the way Clove was acting.

Marvel wiggles his eyebrows and gives a low whistle. Thresh follows Peeta's footsteps and shakes Cato's hand and gives me a small nod.

It's just under a week since Cato's return, the first time we've all been reunited together. We're in President Snow's mansion now, where most of the prisoners of war have been freed and even more scandalous information on the Capitol found. They have people going through every computer and every file they can find, charges are being filed up and the accused are to stand trial for the crimes they committed on behalf of Snow.

The Capitol was in turmoil and if it weren't for a select few people in the government, we might just collapse completely. I'm not sure Coin was one of those select people. I kept the Holo with me at all times but still had no idea what to do with it.

Who do you give dirt to when it's of the highest authority in Panem right now?

I couldn't be sure, and looking at the faces of the others I knew they wouldn't know either. Guilt slams into me when I finally lock eyes with Cato. I wanted to tell him, I really did. It's just that we had both been so busy in the last week that there never seemed like a right time to tell him.

I smile when he looks back at me with so much love. Volunteering for the Hunger Games was the best thing I ever did.

Glimmer spots Clove looking uninterested, off in her own little world. "Oh my gosh! You've got to be kidding me, _you _knew before me?"

"Don't be offended. She figured it out before Katniss told me," Cato says.

Glimmer rolls her eyes and collapses into a recliner.

"Did you know that the Hunger Games would start in about three months?" Peeta asks. His voice is soft but fills the room.

"It all sort of flew by didn't it?" Marissa replies quietly.

It's amazing that out of the group of us that made it to the Hunger Games hiatus, we only lost one. They say Azora isn't dead. There's speculation on what happened to her though. Some intelligence says that she's back in District Four with her family. Others say she's on the run after her betrayal.

Nobody knows for sure though, nobody's going to look into it too deeply either. She served a purpose with us for a while; she helped unite the Careers and the rest of the Tributes.

We would probably never see her again and maybe that was a favor from us to her.

Effie Trinket pokes her head into the room and claps her hands for are attention. She's back in her Capitol attire though it is not nearly as outrageous as it was before. Her clothes are less flashy, her skin not dripping with makeup, her wigs no longer styled so shockingly.

"I believe you are needed in a meeting right now. Best not to be late." She skips off but leaves the door ajar, the message being that we have to get back to work.

As icons in the Rebellion we have a great deal of political power, something I'm sure Coin envies. Again, the fury wells up inside me whenever I think of that woman.

Now was as good as any other time to tell him.

I wait for the others to clear out before grabbing his wrist and holding him back. He raises an eyebrow and shuts the door. He glances to the couch and I know what he's thinking. "We are not doing it in here," I hiss. "I actually have something really important I need to tell you."

"What is it?"

I dig into the inside pocket of my coat and pull out the Holo. I type in the password Beetee set up and dig up the more blatant and damning information on Coin. I hand the Holo to him and watch as he reads over it. His face morphs from confusion into a perfect transition of understanding and then disgust. "Where did you get this?"

"Boggs." I think about telling him about going back into the sewers but it will only upset him. "Boggs told me about it right before he died." True enough. If only he had given me the Holo then. It would have saved me a terrifying stroll in the Capitol.

"Well who else knows?"

"Beetee from District Three."

"Well what are you going to do about it?" He asks as he continues to flip through files in the Holo.

"Expose her. We've had over Seventy-Five years of tyranny. It's about time we had somebody decent in power."

"So who will you give this to?"

I sigh and shrug my shoulders. "I don't know."

He switches the Holo off and gives it back to me. "You give it to the Rebellion news feed. Beetee probably still has control over that and can get it under Coin's nose. You do this completely anonymously, no way of tracing it back to you. If she can get a hold of you before they can arrest her or do whatever with her, she will kill you Katniss."

I nod slowly, tucking the Holo away and taking a deep breath. "Let's talk to Beetee as soon as possible."

* * *

><p>It's three days later that the world finds out about Coin.<p>

It's within three hours that she's arrested. She hid in her office but they eventually knocked the door down and dragged her out. There are riots, people taking to the street and screaming for blood. They yell words like 'traitor' and 'evil.'

And this is how Paylor comes to power. A strong leader from District Eight who swears vengeance on Coin. I hear her name constantly throughout the news broadcast but it's not until I see her picture that I recognize her as the woman who guarded the arsenal in the hospital. The woman who gave me my bow and allowed me to get the proof from Boggs's body.

There's talk that shall be the future President of Panem. But Coin…

Her trial starts just a week after the initial broadcast. I watch it with my mother, Cato, Rue and Prim. We can go to the courthouse of course; we have the privilege to watch the trial live and in the same room. But we don't. I'm not sure why, maybe in a way I feel slightly guilty for bringing the hammer down on this woman. But that's ridiculous. She's the reason an entire District was destroyed. She did it because she needed people to believe in her and her causes.

Her causes, which are the reason we are free, are overlooked by the betrayal she has inflicted. I watch her sitting on the stand, eyes void of any life as she looks on at the crowd hollowly.

She never speaks. She sits there and allows them to read her charges and to point their finger at her and give even more charges.

And while she never speaks, her peers certainly do. The guilty ones throw themselves to the ground and plead for forgiveness, admitting everything they've done and screaming for mercy. The others sit there and try to pin it all on Coin. I can't help but wonder what Boggs would have done if he was sitting in that stand.

He was her right hand man but in the end he gave her up to me. All I know is that when he took the stand he would've had perfect posture and have spoken immaculately and with reason, unlike the others who break down in sobs or simply stare into space, accepting their fate.

And their fate _is _sealed. They're hung just outside the President's Mansion.

And so ends the short rule of Coin.

And so ends the Hunger Games.

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><p><strong>I know I said there would be more chapters, and this was actually about three chapter that I crammed into one when the internet went down and I got bored. <strong>

**Wow. Never did a story this long before. Honestly I don't know what to say right now.**

**No, there will not be a sequel. This story drained me of its original premise which was 'what would happen if Cato and Katniss fell in love after the Hunger Games went on hiatus'**

**I'm still going to work on Cato/ Katniss stories but this one is done. **

**Except the epilogue of course. I'm not sure how long that will take. I've got it planned but not organized right now. For those of you who hate babies in fanfiction this is probably the end of the line. *Wink wink***

**Thank you so much for your support, you have no idea how much it meant to me.**

**I apologize for any spelling or grammar mistakes, I'm sure there are a decent handful here.**

**I like to think I'll have another idea for Catoniss someday soon. But first I should probably finish my other stories.  
><strong>


	33. Epilogue

17_ years later_

The light is streaming past the curtains into the room, landing directly onto my face and causing me to scrunch my eyes up just a little bit more.

I pull the covers higher in an attempt to block out the ever growing sunlight. It's no use though, with the chaos beginning to unfold downstairs, the sun will be the least of my problems.

I force myself to get up, pushing myself up from the bed and slowly getting onto my feet.

The bed is empty and the spot usually occupied is now cold. I glance at it briefly, realizing he must have left hours ago. I let out one more yawn before finally dropping the blankets and exposing myself to the cold air. I find my robe tossed across one of the old chairs. Spring was finally leaving and summer setting in.

Summer. Something we can finally enjoy where no children are taken by the cold of winter or the terror of the games.

I haven't heard of a child dying in the winter for years now. No Tribute dead for seventeen years.

This thought gives me slight satisfaction every morning that it pops into my mind. A relief that swells up in my chest and a comfort to keep by me when the dark thoughts begin to creep in.

I go into the bathroom and quickly wash up, wincing when I hear a crashing from downstairs. I'm tempted to yell but know this will only encourage them. They know what today is and they accept it with full force. The train will be getting in around 2 o'clock and if I can just keep the house clean until then, we might just make it with some dignity.

Another crash and somebody starts crying. I take a deep breath and quickly finish up with my braid before tossing it over my shoulder and tying my robe just a little bit tighter. I put on my angry face and walk as fast as I can down the stairs, praying they didn't destroy anything that I really liked.

On the floor is an old vase with shards spread across the wooden planks. Behind the massacre of a once very valuable vase are my two youngest. They stare at the mess with guilty expressions before finally looking towards me.

"Briar did it!" Crucis, my youngest boy is quick to shout.

Briar, my youngest girl, hisses with anger. "He shoved me into the stand."

I know what they're leading up to and that sitting here and looking at them will only cause them to argue over who did what for the next hour. Not today though. Today is a celebration, a time to denounce the past and look forward to the future.

"It's both your fault. Now clean it up." I step over the mess carefully and warn them to wear shoes as well as to make sure to get every last piece.

I go into the kitchen and think of getting breakfast ready when I notice the mess left behind. "Your dad cooked for you, didn't he?" I yell over my shoulder.

"Omelets and pancakes!" Briar yells back.

"Of course he didn't clean up," I mumble, grabbing the dishes and beginning to wash them off.

I might be upset with him if it weren't for the stack of pancakes waiting for me in the stove. I pull them out and try to enjoy a quick breakfast without the yelling in the other room.

You can try anything with those two, separate, punish, scream. They were a year apart but they might as well have been twins with how close they were. They usually wore each other down simply by being with one another which translated to me having a free afternoon when they finally crashed for their naps.

I finish up in the kitchen and return to the living room to inspect the floor. "We got it all." Crucis says, rolling his eyes.

"Get dressed you two, we have errands to run."

"You could just leave us home alone you know?" Crucis mumbles.

A bark of laughter escapes me. "And if I did that, I wouldn't have a home to come back to. Now get dressed."

They scramble off as I go upstairs to get dressed.

Pants and a T-shirt as well as boots. Never went out of style.

"Hurry up, guys!" I yell from the bottom of the stairs.

We leave the house just around ten. The air is much cleaner now, with no coal mines being run anywhere near former District Twelve. They found a better source of it near the Capitol. Twelve is now run by merchants and a small medical factory. The fences have long been torn down and the buildings rebuilt. I'm in what was the former Seam, in a house that I could've never imagined in my former home. Most the homes in Twelve are nice now.

All of them have constant electricity and indoor water.

Despite the Victor's Village being saved from the bombings I never could bring myself to leave the area I grew up in. This was one of my conditions when I agreed to marry Cato.

He didn't mind the location so much as he did our new neighbors. Haymitch must've been getting lonely up in the old village and his new roommate, Effie, needed a place to crash. So of course they sprung on claiming the house next to ours. They enjoyed being pesky and dropping in on the most inconvenient times. We found later that they made decent babysitters.

I grab Crucis and Briar by the arms and walk with them on either side of me. A few people wave to me or try to ask how I'm doing. I smile and tell them I'm fine but very busy today.

They at least get the message and let me continue.

My first stop is a familiar one and a place that always makes me smile, forgetting the suffering that once took place here.

I use my foot to push the door of the Mellark bakery open. Clove is behind the counter where she actually spares a smile when I walk in.

Before they even got married, Clove had basically taken over the bakery and run it with an iron fist. I know it made her happy to shove the success of her work in Peeta's mom's face. Because of Peeta's talent and a great deal of income coming in, there was an entire new menu made for the place.

The Witch of District Twelve may have gotten older, but she did come to glare at her daughter-in-law once in a while.

"What do you want today, Firegirl?"

"I didn't really expect you take orders today, I assumed you were backed up with preparation for this evening."

"We are, but I suppose I can make the exception for you."

"How about a few rolls?"

Wordlessly, she begins to load up the small paper bag with the bread.

I pretend I don't notice her sneaking the kids sugar cookies. She likes to get them hyper so that they're twice as miserable on me. Let her get them restless. I'm about to dump them on their father.

I nibble on my roll as we continue through the town square. It's decorated for tonight's festivities, all the way up to the former remnants of the Justice Building. It's one of the only places not rebuilt upon our return. We realized that there was no real use for it except for the Mayor's office and matters of the Hunger Games. Now there are just a few more merchants' stands there. Places that used to be in the Hob but now out in the open where they're perfectly legal.

We get across the square and continue forward to one of the buildings on the outskirts of the district.

When we first moved to District 12 one of the best things Cato could do was construction. While he'd been trained to kill most of his life, he'd also been raised in a district whose primary export was masonry. It's what he had been taught in school and something he could do rather easily.

He trained a lot of the others what to do but still needed to help out once in a while.

I drag his hell spawns to the door and walk in with no resistance. There aren't many people in today; most of them are probably decorating the city.

Talia jumps up when I enter the room.

"I'm not your free babysitter! You can't pawn them off on me whenever you feel like it."

"Oh don't worry. I wasn't going to ask you."

I kiss Cato on the lips, like I have every day for the last seventeen or so years. We kiss despite the kids making gagging noises or telling us to knock it off. It's familiar and it's nice; it's something I'm grateful for every day.

"So you go do whatever you have to do and we can meet at the train station at two?"

"That's the plan."

I smile warmly to Talia and tell her to help her father take care of her brother and sister.

I walk as quickly as I can to the forest.

Crucis had been sick the last couple days and this would be the first time I'd been out in the woods since.

I'm sure I could buy the meat at the market for dinner tonight, but none of that had ever sounded very appealing. Not when I could go get it myself.

There's not a single sign that a fence once stood over the place I cross. It doesn't really matter though, there aren't many homes close to my favorite hunting grounds and people rarely venture into the woods despite having the freedom to do so.

I go to the hollow tree trunk and remove a newer bow. I finally got around to learning how to make more bows, though I still haven't given up on my former hiding spot.

I throw quiver behind my back and begin to go further into the trees.

The haul is good but I'm going to need something bigger than rabbits and squirrels.

The deer are finally growing in numbers and I'm sure I can find one if I stay out here for a few more hours. The sun peaks in the sky and slowly begins to fall down. It will be 2 o'clock soon and I still need to bring what I have back to the house and then meet the others at the train station.

I get closer and closer to the lake where I know the deer tend to gather.

My bow is strung when I spot fresh tracks.

Over a small hill and through the denser woods. There it is. The perfect buck. Plenty of meat off of it and then some to sell.

I pull back and aim my arrow at it. It's aimed perfectly to penetrate the skull and cause an instant death. I take one deep breath and release the arrow.

I'm only half surprised to see my arrow go straight over the fallen body of the buck.

The arrow now lodged in its skull was well aimed and shot with near perfect precision.

"You're getting better."

"Maybe you're just getting older, mom."

My firstborn jumps down from the small ridge he'd been hiding out in. "What were you going to do when you got it though? You can't carry it back by yourself you know."

I smile and shake my head, "That's why I had you."

He smiles and hands me my arrow after he pries it from the tree.

He throws his bow behind his back and squats beside the deer, getting ready to haul it back to the house.

He was nearly 17 and easily one of the most handsome boys in the District. He had his father's eyes and my hair color. His skin was much paler then mine but managed to clash well with his facial features. A strong jaw line and hard eyes.

He couldn't walk down the road without girls swooning over him and their fathers glaring.

Of course, we got payback for this as Talia grew up and Cato had to learn how to glare like the others did.

Acanthus throws down a tarp and rolls the deer onto it. I grab one end and he grabs the other as we begin to carry the body.

As soon as we get home he begins to work on skinning and preparing the meat for the tonight. I clean the house as best I can and make sure the guest rooms are clean.

My son and I get to the train station just in time to find the others.

Cato's arm wraps around my waist as he pulls me in closer when the ground begins to shake from the quick arrival of a train I once dreaded to get into.

It stops and idles for a second before the doors open and familiar faces come running out.

Glimmer and Marvel are the most noticeable with their typical District One outfits and godly attitude. Plus they have three girls trailing behind them that are anything but plain.

Behind them come Thresh, Marissa, their daughter and their son.

A few more people trickle out before Rue and my mother slowly makes their way out.

I look around me and spot Prim and Rory coming over to reunite with everybody.

When everybody finally makes it towards us, we stand in a circle and exchange a pleasant 'how are you doing?'

It's not until Peeta mentions that he has some food grilling at his house that we break up. Some of them are staying with Cato and I tonight, some with Haymitch and Effie, some with Peeta and Clove. We promise to settle in and all meet over at the Mellarks' house.

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><p>The younger kids scream at the top of their lungs as they run around the house on a sugar high. The Mellarks' backyard is big enough that they can run off, yet still be under supervision.<p>

We sit around, exchanging pleasantries and catching up on what was missed since the last time we were together. It's the same old same old that we've been talking about for years.

Glimmer and Marvel are dominating the fashion industry. They tell me Cinna says hello and that he's sorry he can't leave the Capitol until after the launch of the summer line.

It was only a year after the revolution was over that Glimmer and Marvel came out and announced they were together. It wasn't too surprising either. Whenever there was a postwar celebration they usually blamed the alcohol for the way they were kissing and always together, yet failed to realize that what they were drinking was usually swapped for something nonalcoholic.

Glimmer admitted she was reluctant to have a child for the damage it would do to her body, but when I told her I was pregnant with Talia (and she was the second to know, just after Cato) she jumped on the baby train and had her first daughter just a few months after I had my first girl.

Her and Marvel continued to live in the fast lane of high fashion and had started their own company with Cinna.

It was probably Marissa and Thresh that shocked us the most though. I realize they spent a lot of time together during the war but it was still strange to see them together now as a couple.

It happened five years after the war when we were all in District Eleven to celebrate Thresh's win as Mayor. We celebrated for a few days but when it came time to get on the train to go back to our homes, it was a bit of a shock when Marrisa confessed she was staying. And then Thresh threw his arm over her shoulders and smiled.

They say he's the best Mayor any District has ever seen. He remembers just about every wrongdoing done to the people, be it former Peacekeepers or District Eleven citizens themselves. There had been trial after trial until finally, things began to look good.

It wasn't until seven years ago that the two of them had any kids.

My mother left just after Acanthus was born. She wanted to help those who were returning to District Eight and help rebuild and train the new medical students. She would visit constantly and slowly the broken bridge between us was mended.

Rue and Prim did something that they must've talked a lot about in District Thirteen. They traveled for years after the war ended. They would come and check in occasionally, drop-in and help before somebody had a baby. Despite their young age at the time they were usually traveling alone or with minimal supervision.

It didn't really matter though. They were two girls who had seen the cruelty of the world, something my children would never fully understand.

Prim only came to settle down in Twelve a few years ago. She and Rory Hawthorne weren't married, but they lived together and they might as well have been.

Rue lived the single life and served as the ambassador from Eleven to the Capitol, Thresh's eyes and ears.

And Cato and I?

We left the Capitol and came back to District Twelve with my mother and Prim. We had a quickie wedding, one I didn't entirely hate. For a while, we stayed in the Victor's Village but I couldn't stand it. Eventually our house was built and within a couple days of moving in, Acanthus was born.

A few years later and we had Talia.

I thought we would draw the line at two kids but after another anniversary of the Capitol's defeat and a particularly harsh winter when we were snowed in, Crucis and Briar were born.

Life was simple for us. I taught Acanthus to hunt. Cato taught him to fight.

I taught Talia how to shoot a bow but she was much more interested in spears, knives and swords.

Crucis rarely went into the woods and preferred the safety in concrete floors and the precision he could find in swords.

Briar had no interest in blades or hand-to-hand fighting. Instead she would stay by me in the woods and sometimes wander off on her own, or beg me or her brother to take her with us.

The kids were in school and they knew what the Hunger Games were. They knew that their mother and father had been in the final games along with several of their 'aunties' and 'uncles.'

Maybe it was because they had grown up knowing this or simply couldn't grasp the gravity of what the Games were, but none of our kids seemed truly affected by our past.

Not even Acanthus, who was nearly seventeen, around the same age I was when I volunteered to die in my sister's place.

We told him he could watch the seventy-fourth annual Hunger Games when he was eighteen. I dreaded the moment he saw his father kill or the fear in my eyes when I rose on the pedestal.

But he was somber when we told him this news, when he was seven and the school explained to him in full detail what the Games were about.

We had the same conversation a few years later with Talia, her eyes just as blue as her father's with the same pale blonde hair. I hated how when Cato explained to her that he'd been trained to participate in the games his entire life, those beautiful blue eyes of hers lit up with something close to excitement. An almost longing to share the same training he had. That single moment was the most terrified I'd ever felt in parenthood.

Briar and Crucis didn't know all of the details yet. They wouldn't for maybe another year. I could only hope that when Briar sat across the table from us as we explained things to her, her oddly violet eyes wouldn't light up as her sister's had.

The food is done cooking and put on the table for us to serve ourselves.

The table is full of good conversation and old friends catching up over drinks and enough food to fill everybody's bellies.

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><p>Later that night Cato and I are walking home alone. The kids decide to have a camp out in the Mellarks' backyard. My mother is already asleep at my house after a day of traveling and the others bid us good night as we depart.<p>

The streets are still pretty full from the others celebrating, most of whom wave to us and say hello.

As we get farther and farther away from them however, it becomes much more silent and much easier to think.

A part of me wants to run back and take Briar and Crucis home with us. Of course they'll be safe with the others but it was only eighteen years ago that a child without a mother was destined to starve.

But then I have to smile because I remember that my children will never know what a Reaping feels like. They'll never fully comprehend why some people still glare at Aunt Effie. They can only assume that I jump at loud noises because they scare me at the moment and not because I hear buildings in District Two collapsing around me. They won't know why daddy's mom is so sad or why Uncle Jet committed suicide when the academy was officially closed. They'll never know what starvation feels like. They'll never have to know that deep beneath the ground they walk on every day are the remnants of what's left of my father.

They'll learn to shoot bows and swing swords because they want to.

And when our children look at each other and their friends, they never have to wonder if they'll be killing that person simply because both their names were drawn.

Cato holds the door open for me and I walk into the dark living room without hesitation, content to know that my four children will grow up in the world we've left them.

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><p><strong>PM me any questions complaints you might have  
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